Extra Martial Affair

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namaste
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06 May 2011, 2:47 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

8O With your definition of affair, I'm having a few.

haha....

TeaEarlGreyHot
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06 May 2011, 2:56 am

namaste wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

8O With your definition of affair, I'm having a few.

haha....

I'm very serious. What you described as an affair is simple friendship over here. Some prefer not to friend those of the opposite sex, but people like me have mostly male friends.

So, I'm back to you just needing a friend. :shrug:

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spongy
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06 May 2011, 6:37 am

namaste wrote:

Subotai wrote:

How common and acceptable are affairs in Indian society?
And how much worse could things get if you're caught?

There is no point denying yourself the emotional fulfillment you need if your husband is more interested in cricket scores.

affairs are not at all acceptable in India. Even females talking with men are shunned down upon
People start talking behind the back if you are seen talking with opposite sex

My husband is least bothered even if i am caught ....i had two earlier affairs which he was knowing about
Affairs mean we were just talking on the phone nothing else. One of the guy was in other city...soon he found another girl of same city and stopped calling me
The other guy was married guy but he was too scared to go ahead and was always finding excuses to ward me off. He would hardly call and though in his heart he liked me he couldnt muster courage and one day it faded away

I dont mind getting into affair again but then when it ends it leads me into depression and then i have my limitations nothing physical

Have you considered making a post a the friendship thread/ trying to stablish a friendship with one of the members here.

I´m quite sure that there are more than a few guys here who are on a similar situation and would love to have someone to talk to. You could start by sending him a friendly pm he is most likely to answer(most members here are more than happy to receive frriendly pms) and you could try to start a frienship that way. From my experience it has a high success rate.

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alessi
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06 May 2011, 7:04 am

I agree about pets, they are wonderful. However please don't say that cats are not interactive. I find my beautiful cats to be extremely interactive - they are amazing and wondeful.

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Don't knock the pet idea so quickly. If you're looking for a friend, a pet that is highly interactive may do you a bit of good.

A dog, for example, is an interactive pet. A cat is not.

namaste
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06 May 2011, 7:44 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

namaste wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

8O With your definition of affair, I'm having a few.

I'm very serious. What you described as an affair is simple friendship over here. Some prefer not to friend those of the opposite sex, but people like me have mostly male friends.

So, I'm back to you just needing a friend. :shrug:

even i prefer male company somehow they talk sensisble and intellectual things unlike woman who gossip, b***h and backstab.
but here in our culture its not permitted to talk with opposite sex

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Fnord
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06 May 2011, 9:12 am

mellisamouse wrote:

Try to pretend your husband is someone new and have an affair with HIM??? win/win??

... or dress up as someone else and try to seduce him.

Chronos
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06 May 2011, 11:17 am

namaste wrote:

Chronos wrote:

namaste wrote:

i feel quite lonely
no friends, no relatives, no cousins
my hubby is workholic
earlier i tried getting into extra martial affairs
but i scared those people out
i dont want sexual relationship its more of emotional relationship
i seek someone to chat with, visit places, share my feelings etc

what do u all feel...i know its risky and dangerous
:roll:

A lot of men who are workaholics worry that they might find themselves in a position where they are not able to support their family financially, or that they must maintain a certain standard of living for their family. A lot of men also have very demanding jobs and aren't really in a position to say no their boss or they risk getting fired. I'm not sure what category your husband falls into, but rather than cheat on him, you should talk to him.

I think you need to make it clear that you prefer his presence and companionship over maintaining a particular standard of living. That you would rather he had a lower paying job if it meant he could spend more time with you. I think you will need to be sensitive to his feelings in this matter and be kind and reassuring that it really is ok for him to not work so much rather than be upset with him.

THere is no point in sitting and talking with him...i said earlier he talks in monosyllables.
Or he is too interested in catching up with the cricket scores

So tell him if he isn't going to talk about this then you have no choice but to leave him.

namaste
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06 May 2011, 12:50 pm

Fnord wrote:

mellisamouse wrote:

Try to pretend your husband is someone new and have an affair with HIM??? win/win??

... or dress up as someone else and try to seduce him.

No way

namaste
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06 May 2011, 12:52 pm

Chronos wrote:

namaste wrote:

Chronos wrote:

namaste wrote:

i feel quite lonely
So tell him if he isn't going to talk about this then you have no choice but to leave him.

I told him many times im bugged with him and want to leave him....but he wont relent

TeaEarlGreyHot
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06 May 2011, 9:46 pm

alessi wrote:

I agree about pets, they are wonderful. However please don't say that cats are not interactive. I find my beautiful cats to be extremely interactive - they are amazing and wondeful.

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Don't knock the pet idea so quickly. If you're looking for a friend, a pet that is highly interactive may do you a bit of good.

A dog, for example, is an interactive pet. A cat is not.

None of the cats I've ever owned have been very interactive.

Unless they want something from me.

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Fnord
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06 May 2011, 9:53 pm

namaste wrote:

Fnord wrote:

mellisamouse wrote:

Try to pretend your husband is someone new and have an affair with HIM??? win/win??

... or dress up as someone else and try to seduce him.

No way

Ahh ... so you want him to indulge you, but you are not willing to indulge him ... I see ... he is the only one who has to change and make the necessary effort ...

namaste
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07 May 2011, 12:49 am

Fnord wrote:

namaste wrote:

Fnord wrote:

mellisamouse wrote:

Try to pretend your husband is someone new and have an affair with HIM??? win/win??

... or dress up as someone else and try to seduce him.

No way

Ahh ... so you want him to indulge you, but you are not willing to indulge him ... I see ... he is the only one who has to change and make the necessary effort ...

least i expect from him is to stop talking in monosyllables and constantly trying to check the cricket score
or answer with a nod when i talking about serious topic

TechnicalPacifist
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07 May 2011, 11:42 am

namaste wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

namaste wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

even i prefer male company somehow they talk sensisble and intellectual things unlike woman who gossip, b***h and backstab.
but here in our culture its not permitted to talk with opposite sex

Yet another cultural difference. "Sensible and intellectual"?

Fnord
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07 May 2011, 11:50 am

namaste wrote:

Fnord wrote:

namaste wrote:

Fnord wrote:

mellisamouse wrote:

Try to pretend your husband is someone new and have an affair with HIM??? win/win??

... or dress up as someone else and try to seduce him.

No way

Ahh ... so you want him to indulge you, but you are not willing to indulge him ... I see ... he is the only one who has to change and make the necessary effort ...

least i expect from him is to stop talking in monosyllables and constantly trying to check the cricket score
or answer with a nod when i talking about serious topic

He's not interested in you ... maybe you could at least try to be more interesting?

Men lose interest in their wives for any number of reasons. Here are four:

1) She's no longer interesting.
2) He's found something (or someone) that interests him more.
3) She a 'contentious' woman.
4) He's clinically depressed and needs medical treatment.

It is not always the man's fault.

RainingRoses
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07 May 2011, 12:33 pm

Chronos wrote:

So tell him if he isn't going to talk about this then you have no choice but to leave him.

Chronos, I think you're one of the sharpest and most sensible women I've ever run across -- at least in print! But, I'm not sure that this advice takes into account certain cultural norms and expectations that we don't fully understand (or subscribe to). The OP may wind up with far worse problems than an unfulfilling marriage by leaving her husband.

Fnord
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07 May 2011, 12:44 pm

Good point, RR.

The following was obtained from an Indian website > LINK <:

Let us have a look at the various grounds for divorce in India.

The following are the grounds for divorce in India mentioned under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955.

Adultery – The act of indulging in any kind of sexual relationship including intercourse outside marriage is termed as adultery. Adultery is counted as a criminal offense and substantial proofs are required to establish it. An amendment to the law in 1976 states that one single act of adultery is enough for the petitioner to get a divorce.

Cruelty – A spouse can file a divorce case when he/she is subjected to any kind of mental and physical injury that causes danger to life, limb and health. The intangible acts of cruelty through mental torture are not judged upon one single act but series of incidents. Certain instances like the food being denied, continuous ill treatment and abuses to acquire dowry, perverse sexual act and such are included under cruelty.

Desertion – If one of the spouses voluntarily abandons his/her partner for at least a period of two years, the abandoned spouse can file a divorce case on the ground of desertion.

Conversion – In case either of the two converts himself/herself into another religion, the other spouse may file a divorce case based on this ground.

Mental Disorder – Mental disorder can become a ground for filing a divorce if the spouse of the petitioner suffers from incurable mental disorder and insanity and therefore cannot be expected from the couple to stay together.

Leprosy – In case of a ‘virulent and incurable’ form of leprosy, a petition can be filed by the other spouse based on this ground.

Venereal Disease – If one of the spouses is suffering from a serious disease that is easily communicable, a divorce can be filed by the other spouse. The sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS are accounted to be venereal diseases.

Renunciation – A spouse is entitled to file for a divorce if the other renounces all worldly affairs by embracing a religious order.

Not Heard Alive – If a person is not seen or heard alive by those who are expected to be ‘naturally heard’ of the person for a continuous period of seven years, the person is presumed to be dead. The other spouse should need to file a divorce if he/she is interested in remarriage.

No Resumption of Co-habitation – It becomes a ground for divorce if the couple fails to resume their co-habitation after the court has passed a decree of separation.

The following are the grounds for divorce in India on which a petition can be filed only by the wife.

- If the husband has indulged in rape, bestiality and sodomy.
- If the marriage is solemnized before the Hindu Marriage Act and the husband has again married another woman in spite of the first wife being alive, the first wife can seek for a divorce.
- A girl is entitled to file for a divorce if she was married before the age of fifteen and renounces the marriage before she attains eighteen years of age.
- If there is no co-habitation for one year and the husband neglects the judgment of maintenance awarded to the wife by the court, the wife can contest for a divorce.

Just because one )or both) partners is bored with the other does not constitute grounds for divorce in India.

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