Is religious belief that important to you in a relationship?

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because it takes the choice out of her hands. it removes the importance of her choice when she gets older. if she grew up and wanted to decide for herself, but the baptism was already done, it's no longer her decision.

plus baptism is church-specific, so she would be baptized in a church that she may not have any interest in later. i don't think the church would have done it without our permission anyways.

That doesn't make any sense. If you believe that an infant cannot make such a decision so the baptism would be meaningless, then what does it matter? A person can be baptized more than once except in churches that adhere to the Nicene Creed (and they typically do infant baptisms). Churches that refuse to acknowledge infant baptism are willing to baptize and re-baptize people, even if they were already baptized as adults. By refusing to allow infant baptism, it's given credibility. It's essentially saying that because you've been baptized, you no longer have a choice of what you want to believe. That's not what baptism does. Even people who decide to be baptized after an age of consent can change their minds about what they believe. Someone who decides to believe in Christianity and believes in one baptism really won't care if that baptism was done when they were 2 months old or 25 years old. There's only a consideration for Baptism of the Holy Spirit, which is a different experience for Born Again Christian types. That happens at a later age. So, I still don't understand the theological justification.

I'm going through this now with my step-daughter. She's nine and can tell you anything you want to know about what it means to be Christian, Christ's sacrifice, basic morality, general biblical history, and the importance of the Eucharist. She's an acolyte for our church, but she cannot accept the Eucharist until she's baptized. Her mother just won't consent based on her being only nine. I swear my step-daughter will know more about Scripture and theology than her mother when I'm done with her but none of that matters. She thinks the girl has to be 12 or 13 for her to understand. She already understands. But Step-mom never overrules Mom ever and this is a matter for my husband to sort out with her. So I'm sitting her wondering where the logic is. I'm hoping you can elaborate more on your and your husband's viewpoint about this so I have a hope of getting it. You're liable to be more logical and knowledgeable about it than her, but I can pretend your reasons are her reasons and be satisfied. I am trying to understand but it has to make sense to me.


PS: Sorry for hijacking, OP. This shouldn't take too long.

Adding...


Yes and No. There is a form called Trinitarian Baptism. This is basically just baptizing in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit/Ghost. This is generally accepted by most Christian churches except for a select few, who are placed outside the mainstream of Christianity... like LDS and JWs. They have their own baptism forms that work quite happily for their denominations. The Roman Catholic Church (and probably several others (I'm being lazy now)) have a form called the Conditional Baptism, which is a Trinitarian Baptism with the stipulation to God that it only matters if there wasn't a baptism before and if there was, please disregard.

So, technically, you can convert from Catholic to Baptist to Methodist to Episcopalian to Orthodox to Lutheran to Church of Christ and as long as you've had a Trinitarian Baptism, the most the church will do for your conversion concerning baptism (if they do an official conversion requiring classes, paperwork and ceremony) is request the baptismal records from the previous church. If the baptism isn't compatible, they'll want to re-baptize and if those are beliefs that you choose, you'd want the new baptism, too.

^
Could it be less about how knowledgeable/devout she is and more about her mother thinking she's not mature enough yet to make such decisions? Choosing a religion is a pretty serious thing with multiple implications not to mention most people tend to disapprove of those who change it.

I understand where you're coming from hyper, if my in-laws would try to baptise my child behind my back it would ruin the relationship forever. Beside the choice being forced on an infant before being able to understand it - and in my view this is no small thing as it involves an important commitment being made - the betrayal of trust would be something I couldn't get over.

Just because you are in a romantic relationship with someone doesn't mean you have to share everything about your life and do everything together. If religion does not conflict with any of the mechanics of the relationship (e.g. differing beliefs about premarital sex) then it really does not matter. If you feel like people with different religious beliefs are going to hell or are stupid or ignorant, then that may or may not get in the way also.

It's somewhat important. I don't want a partner that will discourage my spirituality or call me silly/weak minded for my beliefs.

What they believe isn't so important. I admit I do wish my husband was more willing to talk to me about it all, though. Religion and spirituality are kind of important to me, and I do kind of need someone I can relate to in this department.

lies.

do you live in the eastern states?

Have you never been to Adelaide. "The city of churches" BLEH! We even have zealots who try to use their fame to push their Pentecostal beliefs. f**k you Paradise Community Church. I even have a latter day saints temple just down the road. The little boys in their white shirts are very cute in a weird deluded way.

If it is just a date or two or just friendship, then I'm ok. However, I want to marry someone of the same religion. It's not because I think I am better or anything, I just believe that if they get married in the temple (and if we live a righteous life together afterwards) then we will be able to live together for eternity. I know it's a lot to ask these days to have standards, but the blessings that come from it will be peace, security, love, and so much more.

As an uninterested atheist, religion is of absolutely no importance to me. Any girl who can accept my lack of beliefs is good enough to me, regardless of her own beliefs.

I am willing to date (and have dated) non-religous people. However when it comes down to it, I strongly prefer dating someone of my religion, since it will result in the least complications.

I guess religious beliefs are important to me. Not because I only want to date people of one religion or anything. It's important to me that whoever I'm dating respects my right to my own religious beliefs; in return I repect that that person has their own beliefs and that that is their decison. I don't want anyone trying to pressure me into believing what they do and I wouldn't do that to anyone else either. So long as there is some respect, I don't much care what they believe.

That^

I could never stand to date someone who is religious, or even tolerant of religious beliefs. Like TEGH kind of said, I find someone with religious beliefs to be weak-minded, and wouldn't be able to stand their delusions.

It is also very unlikely that I would be friends with anyone religious, although I wouldn't outright rule it out if they were a nice person and had similar interests to mine.

Last edited by dunbots on 17 May 2011, 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

what Sallamandrina said. i consider religion to be a serious choice. i guess i think of baptising someone as an informed decision, and a baby can't make that choice. non-denominational baptism would be pointless as my daughter at age 16 is leaning towards a form of buddhism. i think for me a more burning question (wefunction) is why you desire to baptise a child against the mother's will? what do you want to gain from that, in all honesty?

Last edited by hyperlexian on 17 May 2011, 7:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I would be pretty upset if someone baptized one of my children without my consent. As it is, I had to fight with my mom over the name blessing when each of mine were born.

If she had taken my child to her church and done it anyway, we would have had some major issues.

That's the thing though, it is AN ENTIRE BOOK. It contains many years of history and experience. It has withstood the test of time, and It proves the reality of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. (Bible) Besides, they don't have to start wearing robes and preaching to everyone. The bible (and for me +the book of mormon) is basically a book of success and loss stories. Sure there are other ways to succeed or lose at life, but the bible (and BOM) is the best one that contains the most truth. Why do you care if they base their life on a book if it is a good book (and they follow the good examples from it), is what I am asking?

What if they were 8 years old, had prayed about it, and wanted to with all their heart?