I just deleted 68 friends on facebook...

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Well I'm all for parents supporting their children... my parents only saw me for what I could do, and paid little heed to me as a person. Now I want to find real love, the kind where if I lost everything I could do (for example, as a singer, losing my voice), this person would still love me. Which is something I never had. My family doesn't have any love in it, and now I'm trying to build a new family, one where I could set everything right in. Of course, the first step to that is finding a girlfriend, which has proven impossible...

The first step is finding yourself lovable. People who have a loving family succeed not because there is a network they can call who will support them but because that network taught them to believe in themselves. If these people come across a person who is not supportive, it does not shake their infrastructure.

It seems like a cliche but it's 100% truth: You need to love yourself.

Nobody wants to clean a house whose owner will just mess it up again. This is the message you're giving to people. Why compliment you? Why boost you up? Why tell you good things? You'll never believe it. You'll just re-affirm that lasting belief that you're not skilled or good enough. You've got to change that about yourself for anything else to change.

You're learning this late because your parents didn't provide it while you were a child, but you can start catching up. Until you catch up, nothing in your life will change. You will not be able to do this alone. You will need help. Pursue therapy and be upfront and honest about not loving yourself because you don't know how.

No one ever talks to me on on Facebook, except for the one time when this girl was telling me about her new kitten... So I really have no friends? What ever.

I've been going to therapy for a year and a half now, and have just been prescribed an antidepressant... I hope this works, because being the guy that nobody wants is really wearing down what's left of my soul.

If I'm right, they're just random people you know and as such aren't real friends. Am I right?

That's very good that you're already started. Do you have the stones to sit down at the beginning of the next session and say in a definite voice to your therapist, "I need to change and I want you to help me. I don't love myself because I don't know how. We need to start work on this now." ?

Seriously, this is how I treat therapists. If a therapist wants to run the hour, we're going to have problems. I'll answer whatever questions she has but if I need to work on something, that's what we're working on. It's part a control thing but it's mostly a no-bullshit thing. I'm tired of wasted time talking about crap that doesn't matter just because it's sensational and intriguing to them. I want to work on what I really have a problem with. Funny enough, my nine year-old daughter treats counselors (she has one for her step-mother's parental alienation and then a school counselor comes periodically because one of her best friends and classmates died in February). No nonsense! 18 months is a long time to get an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety of any kind. I'm glad you've got it now but don't let them get away with dragging their feet so long on you for anything else.

Bottom line it and get to work on things that need changing and do it for you so you can have the kind of life that you want. You have no idea what a difference it makes when you like the person staring back at you in the mirror. There's power.

PS:
My dad grew up in a support-less home. He was basically abandoned by his mother and left with stern and unhappy grandparents who were already stretched thin after raising their daughter while living with his grandma's father during their younger years. No one identified things like abuse in those days. You just dealt with it. He was in his seventies when he went to therapy to learn how to love because he never knew how. He didn't love or respect himself, which led to him making a lot of decisions he otherwise would not have made. These decisions hurt people along the way. I had over ten good years with him as one of my best friends before he died. He finally loved himself and, from there, he could finally love me and his grandchildren. Don't wait. Fix it now. It can be fixed.

I don't think people in high school or college should be allowed to have facebooks. My step-daughter's in college and has over 1000 friends. Is she actually friends with all these people? NO! But because she met somebody at a party or they know somebody who knows somebody who took a class with her, she adds them. Now there's over 1000 people with access to her photos, notes, updates and her family relations. I think the popularity thing of OMG I RECOGNIZE THAT NAME or HEY THAT GIRL IS PRETTY AND SHE GOES TO MY SCHOOL is too rampant on facebook. These people aren't making actual connections with each other. It's all superficial crap and, as such, all these people can and should do without it!

But that's my opinion. I generally think high school sucks. I've encouraged my kids to involve themselves in as many extracurricular activities as they're comfortable so they have as many distractions as possible from the dumb social structure of that place.

I deleted my whole Facebook account about a year ago and I don't miss it.

Exactly, I do it too though lol. I have about 200 friends on facebook. However 90% are just people who just recognize my name. I am trying to limit going on Facebook bc in the past I spent a lot of time checking out profiles in real life I could care less about.

I was like that before i completely erase my Facebook plus i was totally ignored. Only this guy from here answer my statues. I'm going better since i quit this site for good. That was a bad concept in my case.... Plus i always get comments erased for absolutly NOTHING because i'm not part of they clique (yeah world is full of clique in today world).



Good to heard that

Bummer. I've been reading your comments around the board the past few days and I think you're pretty interesting. If you ever re-activate your FB, drop me a private message.

Mine's gone and I don't miss it...it hurt seeing so many people I know having fun on there and I could never get in on it.

You shouldn't use the term deleted. It was more of a culling or a massacre with that many people removed from your facebook page. Did anyone ask why?

Have you tried to intiate conversations about the pictures people post or ask about their intrests they have on their facebook page?

i removed lots and lots of friends, i only have 5 left and i don't like it cause they aren't as open and sharing as i am.. if you like Facebook feel free to add me http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002927941265

Feck this topic is old o.o and concerning jealousy of couples, they're going to split up eventually anyway. One of the many reasons why relationships are pointless in a mans life. I'm Dr Phil, Goodnight.