nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
18 May 2011, 9:52 pm
18 May 2011, 9:53 pm
18 May 2011, 9:56 pm
Joker wrote:
Hmm ive never been in a abusive relationship but I dont mind being abused by a girl its a turn on 
Consensual non-consent is not abuse.
18 May 2011, 9:58 pm
18 May 2011, 9:59 pm
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,739
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
18 May 2011, 10:14 pm
Solvejg wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
nick007 wrote:
jrjones9933 wrote:
Re: some symptoms of abusers resembling symptoms of Asperger's
That's a little scary, in the sense of providing even more incentive to work on self-understanding and self-control.
That's a little scary, in the sense of providing even more incentive to work on self-understanding and self-control.
It's important to note that people can meet a few criteria on that list & not be abusers at all. I think what's important is that we understand how those issues could be potential problems & also that that we try to explain it to our partners so we can try to work on the issues together. Some of those issues may have certain triggers & having our partners know what those triggers are & how they can respond can be quite helpful
It is also important to note that most abusers don't see themselves as abusers and that abuse can go both ways in a relationship.
Just because there is a "reason" for the abuse to occur eg. An Autistic meltdown, it is still a case of abuse if victim feels scared or hurt.
Of coarse but if the partners can understand what the meltdowns are related to; they might could be minimized. Like in my case I tend to take disagreements too personally sometimes & I can get caught up in debating/arguing & then become very angry. It would be best if my partner could change the subject, give me a little space for a bit or drop the issue when things start to get heated instead of continuing the debate.
If you removed yourself from the situation and your partner continued to push you, then that is also a form of emotional abuse.
If however you just tirades and they removed themselves when the discussion was getting too much and you followed them to continually push your point and belittle them, then you would be abusing them
What if they resort to insults like call me stupid or something & I get ticked off & yell insults rite back
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Of coarse but if the partners can understand what the meltdowns are related to; they might could be minimized. Like in my case I tend to take disagreements too personally sometimes & I can get caught up in debating/arguing & then become very angry. It would be best if my partner could change the subject, give me a little space for a bit or drop the issue when things start to get heated instead of continuing the debate.
You are not the only one that matters in a relationship. finding ways to overcome these issues of yours should be your top priority... not saying your partner has to deal with it.
Your rite but I will have to deal with my partners issues as well thou so I think this is where compromising comes in. We both should learn how to deal with & help with each others issues. & BTW I do not think I am the only one that matters in a relationship. I would generally try to put my partner 1st but there are times when I get upset & emotional
18 May 2011, 10:22 pm
nick007 wrote:
What if they resort to insults like call me stupid or something & I get ticked off & yell insults rite back
They are abusing you and often times when someone is abused they strike back.
Quote:
Your rite but I will have to deal with my partners issues as well thou so I think this is where compromising comes in. We both should learn how to deal with & help with each others issues. & BTW I do not think I am the only one that matters in a relationship. I would generally try to put my partner 1st but there are times when I get upset & emotional
Compromise is definitely good.
Joker
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 36
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Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
18 May 2011, 10:26 pm
18 May 2011, 10:27 pm
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
nick007 wrote:
What if they resort to insults like call me stupid or something & I get ticked off & yell insults rite back
They are abusing you and often times when someone is abused they strike back.
Yes that is abuse and you should look at couples counseling in that situation.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,739
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
18 May 2011, 10:35 pm
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
nick007 wrote:
What if they resort to insults like call me stupid or something & I get ticked off & yell insults rite back
They are abusing you and often times when someone is abused they strike back.
I've been told quite often from my parents that I interpret things as insults & being offensive when they weren't meant that way. I'm very bad at handling constructive criticism sometimes. I think it may be related to being bullied a lot. Maybe kind of like Post Traumatic Stress in a way. I feel I'm being attacked emotionally & I have to fight back emotionally to defend myself emotionally. I have gotten a lot better sense I was a teen & young adult but I still have moments.
Last edited by nick007 on 18 May 2011, 10:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Joker
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
18 May 2011, 10:36 pm
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