How many couples have met on this site? (IRL)

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True. They are dating and getting married soon. And she's pregnant with his child.

And WTF do you know? Nuthin! These weren't inane chat friends, these were women that had friendships with him that predated them getting back together. Add onto that that these friendships seemed bizarely intense on an emotional level too (heavy emotional investment meant a LOT more hurt when he pissed off). This GF of his considered everyone in his life except herself to be an annoying leech that should be flicked off his ankle. So she made him give his friends the flick, then she wrote them all off as emotional manipulators when they even dared show how hurt they were. What about when they got suicidal? Ooh that was even better ammo for her.

I understand jealousy but her behavior dealing with it went beyond scary. It was all a weird mind f**k to be honest.

What's that saying I say to myself? "A friend you have to fight to keep ain't a friend worth the fight" Cause if they really were a friend, they'd stick by you no matter what.
You shouldn't have to argue, or debate or struggle to keep a friend. So the next time I have a guy friend who tells me his GF wants him to stop talking to me I will say "alright, f**k off then".

Did he do this to his male friends too?

Even if this is a real life friend, that's what happens when people get a partner? WTF do I know, that it's pretty common, thats what. Countless guys have done it to me.

Be realistic, how many people actually want their boyfriend to be constantly talking to and hanging around a single female that they have a "heavy emotional investment" with, anyway? You might be the exception but I can tell you it won't be many.

If someone's getting suicidal over this then it seems to be more than just "friendship" involved.

If you don't want people to have an opinion because they "don't know anything", then don't share bits and pieces of it on a public forum, because people will assume.

(This all happened last year btw)

He had no male friends, he seemed to prefer making exclusively female ones. He didn't have many, and WP was his only social avenue. So I think he is completely friendless atm (I wish he found punishment in that but he probably doesn't).

Still, when there is a heavy emotional investment it gets a bit more complicated. You can't just cut people off when it's like that as they can be heavily emotionally dependent. I think you gotta be damage conscious and do it in a careful way that minimises hurt for all parties. Maybe gradual fading away instead of ripping out their heart and walking off. She had every right to have a problem with him emotionally two-timing her (which he was), but I don't know if she ever brang it up as an issue with him or not. AFAIK she just told him to ditch his friends and gave him flimsy reasons why. The point is she chose to ignore how much it hurt people when he did what she wanted, or she didn't ignore people's expressions of pain and twisted them to mean something else instead, in order to get him to put that final nail in the friendship's coffin. There is no excuse for hurting people for the sake of one relationship. I don't care if he's your f*****g soulmate.

Well yes, I was his GF before they got back together. I was suicidal this time last year after we broke up.

This is all very odd that this has become a point of discussion...

Well for a start guys who only target females for friends are usually shopping for a GF, not a friend. I would be wary of them myself.

From what I gather in here, the guy seems like a wet weak, an omega male, weak minded and an arse. Having only female friends is the first sign of one of these men, usually.

I don't know anything about the girl but she just sounds like she didn't like the idea of him continuing to talk to people who he counted as potential GFs. Basically from my point of view everything he has done is wrong, and if he wasn't such a weak minded wuss to begin with, people wouldn't get jealous or upset.

I would never date a guy with only or mostly female friends. Never ever ever ever because they always turn into situations like this. It's just a shame that you and a whole lot of other females have been caught up in this sh*t.

Woo, go me.

That'd be me too I regard myself as more of a Sigma though, it's so satisfying to lord my dominance over the Taus and Upsilons...

Back to the OT - I just found out about a new WP couple yesterday but I'm not at liberty to out them. It's so encouraging!

bwah ha ha ha ha! I laughed so loud at this!

i am not a couple, so i have never met on this site.

Add another WP couple to the list, as Esther and I are in a relationship now . She just posted about it in the Adult Forum. It's alright Grisha, you don't have to keep that secret anymore, lol.

I wouldn't mind being one half of a couple, but she would have to have an extremely high sex drive, like to travel, be college-educated or otherwise highly capable of getting substantial employment, be a Christian, and want to start a family.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 25 Jun 2011, 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think you're being too strong. Caution is certainly warranted, for the reasons clear in this thread, but my sister is now quite happily married to a man who pretty much only has female friends. With my BIL, in all cases, there is a pretty clear reason why the women are friends and not dates. In fact, my sister and her husband would never have met if he hadn't become good friends with my other sister. They were close enough for her to invite him over for Christmas! But, there being more than a 15 year age difference, along with the fact they were co-workers, no one ever doubted that this was friendship, not hopeful admiration, and the young man raised nothing but happy thoughts by giving all his attention that Christmas to the sister he is now married to.

Lol, sorry for the language; can anyone tell that I've been reading a Jane Austen book?

Point being, never say never. And, to be honest, I would ascribe more of the messiness surrounding the young man noted in this thread to this being the Internet, where deception and game play is easy, than his choice of friends. I realize I had no part in it and am totally unaware beyond what is written here, but my experience is that B is more likely to the issue than A.

I wish you both the best!

With all due respect, you really have no idea what you're talking about.

I was friends with him for a while before he broke up with his GF. Some stuff happened between us a few months before he and blue_bean got together. He spent months telling me that if he could be with me, he would; then I found out that he and blue_bean were dating. I reacted badly, but didn't actively try to break them up. His former (at the time, they are back together now AFAIK) girlfriend did, and succeeded.
I was of course upset at having been mislead, and quite vocal about it, but I would never have tried to step beyond the bounds of friendship, and he knew that. However, his first GF hated the idea of him caring for anyone but her, and proceeded to get rid of all his friends. He ended up breaking up with her because she delivered an ultimatum: stop talking to people and don't go back to WP, or it's over. When that didn't work, she had to use subtler methods to convince him that I was a bad friend. After she did so, and I was feeling worse than I ever have, she made videos mocking me and blaming me for the whole thing.
There's a letter in the "Unsent letters" thread from me detailing her manipulation and lying. It runs for a few posts. It's only the tip of the iceberg.

It may be normal to ditch one's same-sex friends during a relationship, but it's wrong. Friendships are important in themselves, not just as something to do while you're waiting for someone to f**k.
Even if it is normal, her behaviour was scary and way beyond normal.

Oh, and I don't really appreciate having the worst loss of my life trivialised as "Boo hoo. That's normal, bout time y'all got over it, because it won't be the last time it happens". I hope the same thing happens to you one day so that you know what it's like.


(As for why I refuse to condemn him too badly; it's because I believe that at one stage, he was in love with 3 people at once, didn't know how to deal with it, got confused and overwhelmed, and then was manipulated into believing that blue_bean and I were bad people. In his position I don't know that I would have reacted much better.)

The same has happened to me for the past 10 years. I don't know how many male friends have dropped me because they've got a GF, more than ten but less than 100. It hurts at the time but you just have to learn to accept that it happens a lot.

I actually think the guy is the blame for the whole thing from the facts I've been presented with. The girl seems to have jealousy issues. The guy sounds weak minded and interested in getting a GF out of having friends. One of those guys who gets friends and sees them as potential mates, not as friends. Do you really want a friend who isn't really a friend?

And quite frankly, the guy saying he wanted to leave blue bean for you a so called "friend", I can kind of understand why the girl is going psycho about her wandering eye boyfriend. And the fact that he seems to fall in love with people he chats to, then that would make her even more insecure and psycho. That was no excuse for her to be horrible to you and blue bean though.

Also I apologise for being uncaring in my original post. It can't be easy losing someone you've emotionally invested in. But I don't think you're to blame, and the psycho GF seems to be a problem (she had no right to mess with YOU and BLUE BEAN but she probably felt the need to mess with him- in love with 3 people? Come on. That would make the most secure partner in the world insecure) but I think he's the cause of it it all.

The more I read these threads the more I'm glad I don't engage in these strange and quite unfamiliar aspie activities .

cat fight comes to mind ,meow .


Since my Internet time is running out (public library aspie cheapness showing ) I 'm going home to kiss my birds , some of you would be better served to do like wise (or whatever pet of choice you have)

avoir adieu.