applying pickup skills in real life - an example

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i don't think he is actually selling the ideas or anything, but he is "selling" them, if that makes sense (like very strongly advocating)

Ive gotten that impression from most PUA posts. Its all "i was just another dweeb, but now im like a normal guy, and also banging women"

I know what you mean.

yeah, sorry - i wasn't quoting you because i thought you misunderstood, just that i had worded my feelings really strongly and i wanted to make sure it was clear i wasn't accusing the OP of hawking any wares lol

Ooooooooooh. Okie dokie!

Also to add that PUAer are also familiar with the Milton model of communication & thats used in sales & few other places.
Distortion, deletions and generalization have a big impact in language based communication

i'll answer a group of replies together.

PUA is exactly like a negotiation skill. its something which is learned. but the autism community today says you can't learn how to be social. i say thats wrong. actually i hate the term PUA.

its not like a religion or other belief system. its just applied psychology which draws on a broad spectrum of psychological techniques. here's two:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_psychology

since it draws upon various areas of psychology, your brain just gets reshaped by the positive experiences. it would be like saying "i'm going to stop saying thank you". well people are happy when i say thank you, so i would never stop doing that



i am emotionally disabled. i have aspergers. this would seem like a fairly unkind thing to say to someone with a disability.



negs are problematic, and its only recently i started to understand them. they do work, but its hard and they can backfire. far better is teasing. you have to be more clever; ie use humor well to make teasing. but negs do work, they just shouldn't ever be used by beginners, and overall its better not to use them. think to normal life - you can always make your point better if you infuse humor, right? thats the difference between a neg and a tease.

on the "PUA doesn't work for aspies" - pickup fundamentally is a sophisticated ruleset which replaces the massively long thread called the "social rule book": http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt131296.html

why on earth do you want a 30 page thread filled with a disorganized mess of social rules? the pick up guys have a concise set of material you study and learn and deeply understand. then you keep applying those core rules to figure out the rest of the "social puzzle", as described by tony attwood. its an iterative process and you just keep trying and trying until you get better social outcomes. i've documented some of my attempts at this in my post about my maid. i often get it wrong, but over time i get better and better and the core ruleset is the guide that helps make better guesses.



yes, i had a fantastic girl very much in love with me and we dated for a few months. she was really my ideal girl who had always been out of reach. however i saw the improvements that learning game was having in my life, so i decided to break up with her and focus on improving my social skills. as crazy as that sounds, i saw more importance in freeing myself from the prison of being an as*hole than having a fantastic girl by my side. at the time i didn't know i had aspergers.



this is why i'm posting actually. i thought a lot about this and was thinking about turning it into some kind of business. but
a) the guys behind the game don't make very much money and
b) the people in the autism community don't make much money

so any business combining the two spaces won't be very successful. neither market has customers who have money. i can do better in other areas.

so i'm posting to get some critical feedback. and i'm going to put this material out there, get it validated and if i'm right, in the hands of people who will take it the rest of the way. meanwhile i'll move on to other business.

Last edited by guywithAS on 02 Jun 2011, 10:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Never take things to seriously and you will always be at ease

Does it?



You are talking to a forum full of people with Asperger's. You are the only one here who seems to want to fall back on being 'emotionally disabled' as an excuse to play games with people.



You're getting it.

Is guywithAS advertising PUA on an AS website?

That's what it looks like.

I had a conversation with someone the other day who is so skilled at distortions, it makes you wonder who is the delusional one, you or them.

I don't know if he trained or if he just picked that up on his own.

Games people play.

I think that someone should develop a method of linguistic/psychological defence to counter all this bs, if such a thing does not already exist.

how frequently does alex check in? i'd like to back channel verify with him

Well the truth is we all do its only with the right training that one then becomes aware of it, Studying NLP and Hypnotherapy did make me re think about how we communicate in society. I read that TA book its great!

Distortion, deletions and generalization are the things to look for in conversational hypnosis the some of the best defences again Ericksonian hypnosis is the use of NLP's meta-model of communication which cuts the crap out of the artfully vague talk and the use of Clean Language questioning techniques that's used in life coaching and therapy.

can i win a kewpie doll for spotting a sales pitch?

Here you go hun for your skills in this fairground duck shoot


Now am getting an Steiff bear or a cuddly toy for my marksmanship

thank you!
and here you go:


he said he wants a big hug.