Love or Lust? No way to find out!

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Are you Indian?

I believe lust would be an exhilarating feeling that generally overtakes a person starting somewhere between first sight and a few weeks into the relationship and lasts about 9 months to 2 1/2 years.

Love, I believe, is that thing that makes you stay with a person through 10 years of nocturnal flatulence.

I liken it to jewelry. Lust is the big sparkling cubic zirconia. Love is that tiny off color diamond that isn't particularly flashy but glimmers once in a while when the light hit's it just right.

Can mankind really love anybody?

Sometimes I think I will never do so because love could possibly change. Nothing is secure. I would not fell in love with him if he did not say so to me...But I said I want to make love with him before that..

Is time the only way to examine love? As you said?

I hope it can be a good way.. I thought love-making probably can do so before. But I know it can hardly be one now.

Good definition...

I am not sure if I should take ten years, not sure he can..Although I think I actually can now! But it may change...

But I believe love can actually make it. Maybe ten years are not short when you think so, but it can be short if we spend it day by day... Alas! I think I would envy you deeply if you have such a relationship that lasts ten years...

Maybe we do, but we never know. I cannot to find a way to make sure. Probably digging, digging.....

He said he wants to spend time with me, share my thoughts, etc.. But he never reveal the reason. I believed so. And then I would suddenly feel insecure. Once I felt so, it becomes the purest love-making...And it ebbs, then love grows..Again, and again...

Is our love like others? It is diffferent from that lust as I had before, at least.

Sigh

Don't you understand why men will date girls in the first place? It's obviously for sex. If a man doesn't date a girl for sex then he isn't a man. "Love" in my view is having empathy. Woman simply don't accept men bluntly telling them that they want to have sex. Woman also don't ask men out, it's as if they aren't interested in sex.

So if you want love and sex didn't matter, why don't you date other woman or seniors? Why would it matter if sex didn't matter?

And what are you trying to achieve anyways? If it's for the companionship, what would that achieve in life? If it causes/achieves grief because it's a chore, why would people bother having it? If the person your dating is odd in public and that makes you feel awkward because of other people, then IMHO you shouldn't date that person because what you are achieving is giving yourself grief.

All of your emotions are just a facade. They are a result of molecular reactions in the brain.

P.S. Men, esp. in america will date woman not for longterm, but just for the sex. The list of reasons are long but the main ones are divorce horror stories, no point in having kids, harder to cheat, messed up in the brain, etc... I'm telling you, there are men out there who would def date a highly autistic hot girl, but they would definitely dump her later after many years of hot sex.

There are many naive woman out there, are you one of them?

I have never say that sex didn't matter, but things that easily to get can never make you satisfy, isn't it? And once achieved, you would be easily cloyed by it.



The thing I cannot achieve is always so tempting. It is not a common experience to make an ....love you and finally reveal himself to you. As I cannot reveal myself that much, it sounds more tempting to me.



I know
I can be very naive and passionate, etc when I like to be, as most of human beings...
I am so curious what makes you so cynical, like an old man. But it is actually excellent. I was so before when I was younger, as you. But it is quite exciting to enjoy passion from a young man, I am still so young.. And such cynicism would hinder you from enjoy that, isn't it?

Last edited by metaphysics on 06 Jun 2011, 2:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

A brief note:

On the contrary, you can hardly cloyed by mental things and unique things.

It is the best to enjoy both, you cannot deny the actual attractiveness that mental things have, but the problem is that they are always so inconstant.

I've never said that you said that sex didn't matter, I was just making a point that the main driver of men going out with woman and doing all of that hocus pocus with her is to eventually get her on a bed. Is it pleasurable for men to laugh and have conversations with woman? Yes it is. But they wouldn't be doing it if they never did get that sex. So IMHO you would attribute that hocus pocus with "true love."



I was making a hypothetical "if", so you can fill in the blanks with whatever is going to be the result of who your dating and what your achieving.




I'm cynical due to statistics and common, logical motives. People just can't force myself to enjoy something and can't force myself to have passion. If you enjoy having passion, then fill in the blanks. "The purpose of me dating X is to achieve exciting passionate emotions."

If I can't force myself to enjoy something, can't force myself to have passion, and social companionship doesn't cause me enjoyment, then why would I date to try and achieve social companionship? I can't force a change in what I consider to be a logical belief so it's too bad if my cynicism does cause me to not enjoy passion.

Would you do not do things that I do not desire to do? If you don't desire to have a conversation, then you probably won't have one.

Now think about the other person, what are they trying to achieve by dating you?

I can understand. I apologize for if you misinterpreted me, because I always cause so....I feel the same actually.
But the weakness of myself is that I felt I am similar to him, therefore, in some degree, I am wondering to enjoy that. I am extremely selective in real life and common social companionship disgusted me..

Thank you for saying that.. it seems you made me step a little bit back to what I was before. Excellent,

Who is the other person???? Is it like"in general" or you mean some particular ones? Interesting..

In response to the OP (I haven't read the 3 pages of comments yet):

Love is something you do.
Lust is something you feel.
Love is a commitment you choose to make and can last for a lifetime if you apply the effort to do it.
Lust can come and go.
Love is based on compatibility and to a lesser extent, lust.
Lust is based on attraction, specifically sexual attraction.

I'm an Episcopalian so, I mean, I understand the whole concept of spiritual connections between people; but, honestly, I don't go too far into it. It becomes too unrealistic to swallow. I don't like terms like "soulmates" or "falling in love". They're just too romantic... and there's nothing inherently wrong with romance as long as you can understand that it's not based on reality. It's just for daydreaming and poetry.

I don't say these things to dampen your hormone-induced euphoria. I say these things to empower you because you have complete control over who you choose to love and why. You make these decisions for your life. It's important not to confuse lust with love, and lust definitely has its value.

Thank you very much for your help.
Thank you for your definition.

Especially for" you make these decisions for your life"

I am thinking that if I can finally get any result for it?
Or probably it just a way to waste my emotions?

I have thought about it many times . Our life never stops. For I am so young, should I do something useful instead?

I can understand thus. But once he comes, all the cold theory, which are as cold as ice, make you conscious..Just melted, melted away and the only thing I can do is to indulge myself in such craziness...I think I cannot even draw myself from the passion..

I am so sorry to bother you....

The true answer may exist.