Reasons why you're a bad catch

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ohh, so many reasons. Ill just put the ones off the top of my head.

stubborn
anger issues
inexperienced
bad with money
no foreseeable future
depressed
quiet
f**k up
messed up views on almost everything

im sure theres more.

anger problem
commitment issues
insecure
low self esteem
jealous and possessive
boring
overly serious/humourless
rigid rituals/routines

lots more to Im sure.

Why I don't get along with most women:

1. I'm more attentive than romantic.

2. I prefer small gatherings over loud parties.

3. I would rather live comfortably than extravagantly.

4. Substance is more important than appearance.

5. I choose my friends for their character, not their wealth.

6. My conversations involve events and ideas, rather than people and feelings.

7. An afternoon of public television programs is more fun than a double feature at the theater.

8. I shop to buy, not to look.

9. Three pairs of shoes is enough.

10. Love is love, and sex is sex; it's easy to have one without the other.

11. Raising my voice does not mean that I'm angry.

12. My car, my rules; no smoking and buckle your seat belt.

13. I know how to dress myself.

14. I know how to speak and think for myself.

15. It's my dessert; order your own.

16. I answer the questions that are asked, not the ones that are meant.

17. If a man can learn to work a toilet seat, so can a woman.

18. I arrive on time, not "fashionably late."

19. Just because I think her sisters or friends are cute, it does not necessarily follow that I want to have sex with them.

20. Comfort, entertainment, food & drink; if I have to be somewhere that I don't want to be, then choose any two.

I could continue...

Edit to say, despite and maybe because of some of these things I DO think I am a good catch for the right man. This list is what I think the majority of ppl would think makes me a "bad catch" but I'm not so bad, I'm just in an um... unique category.

divorced with 4 children which are with me 24/7

very high standards/ expectations

rigid thinking, I can change my mind but I need a lot of info/ communication to do so

health issues

very good with money but don't have any

demanding to have things "right" and to "understand" what and why another person does as they do

require 100% honesty, loyality and disclosure of inner self

don't work, don't want to have to, want to stay home w. kiddos

I want to be old fashioned and cook and clean and have kids and take care of a man who takes care of us. Not popular ideas these days.

That sounds more like a "are you an aspie" checklist. I do all of those.

oh this is fun

I

am insecure
self-conscious
quiet
unsociable
suspicious
get too attached
need alone time
will probably take over your life
have depressed spells
often late as i get nervous going out &have to re-check everything
like to tease, hard to tell when i'm joking
won't take no bs
bad at articulating emotion
too skinny
tendency to shut down and 'disappear' for days
text when intoxicated
look awful in the morning
am secretive
boring
a worrier
am bad at being introduced to people
awkward as feck
don't like eating in restaurants
broody
indecisive
super complicated/hard to understand
don't like surprises

my list seems longer than everyone elses so i'm stopping there:/.
would probably be even longer if i got other people to write it ha

I can be anti-social and I'd want a lot of space. I'd be very hesitant to meet new people. I hate cellphones and social networking so I'm more or less old-fashioned and out of place in this generation. It's also obvious that my social skills are very poor and being able to stay social for long periods of time can be something I'd have a very difficult time maintaining.

I'll keep it short and sweet.

-Inexperienced and not bothered to aquire experience
-Unmotivated in general
-Unable (and sometimes unwilling) to accept differing viewpoints
-Cope with reality by mockery
-Easily irritated
-Asocial and fine with it
-Prone to withdraw in my own world
-Am often in a nihilistic mindset

i keep deleting and recomposing this.

these are things i want to fix for myself, and i think they will help me with my confidence so that i can be the best "me". these things are examples of my own self-improvement goals that i think might also make me more desirable in a dating context should i need to be looking for dates at some point.


-work on being more independent and taking better care of my emotional and physical self

-learn better decision-making processes and implement them consistently

-assess myself more fairly and try to see myself more objectively to be more aware of my strengths

-be less judgemental and more compassionate (with other people but most importantly... with myself)

-reduce anxiety about the future when starting a relationship, and be more content with the current state instead of second-guessing everything (and then second-guessing my second-guessing (and then getting disappointed in myself for second-guessing (then feeling anxious that i am being too hard on myself (then pushing the person away because obviously i am too messed up to handle anything anyways (then apologising for being so insecure (and finally realising i am talking to myself as the other person said WTF in bewilderment and left a long time ago))))))

You already know them.

I'm sure people who've attempted dating me would have plenty of others to share, but just a few off the top of my head ...

-Need a lot of time and space to myself, which sometimes comes across as my being distant

-Not affectionate or demonstrative enough or so I've been told

-Inflexible and like to plan things, rather than be spontaneous (ie. not much fun)

-Not great at figuring out hair/makeup/fashion or how to look 'polished' in general

-Don't like being put in situations where I need to be around drinking, smoking, large crowds or where I'm expected to dance or make small talk (again, I'm no fun). Also, don't like going to the beach or anywhere I'd need to be seen in a bathing suit because my own body still kind of horrifies me and I think I look blobby and un-toned, even if I do wear a size 4.

-Not really able to fully integrate myself into a relationship in the way some other women do (ie. used to being very independent, have a tendency to hold back parts of myself from people and very set in my ways of doing things)

-Haven't really mastered the mechanics of two-way conversations yet, interrupt people all the time

-More easily tired and overwhelmed than the average person

-In the process of growing out a bad haircut

-Probably should whiten my teeth and get a good tan, but I'm neurotically afraid of chemicals and cancer.

-Horrible at freeway driving and parallel parking and tend to plan dates out in ways that allow me to avoid having to do these things, whenever possible

-No sense of time in general, typically late or early for everything

-As far as communication, I tend to either blurt out things without thinking about the consequences or overthink things and keep them to totally to myself, often it's one extreme or the other

Wow, I could seriously go on all day, but this is depressing. I need to quit while I'm ahead and stop coming back and editing to add stuff. We should start a "Why are you a good catch?" thread.

I have low vision that limits me with employment & prevents me from driving

I have a tremor disorder that acts up when I'm nervous or frustrated that also limits me with employment & it also can affect my voice. It causes social awkwardness.

I'm very dependent due to those physical disabilities, my Aspie traits & other psychological issues & things.

I'm not good looking. I'm a little overweight but I'm working on it. I'm losing the hair on my head. I have some really ugly scars on my upper left arm from slashing myself 7/8 years ago. I have ache scars on my face.

I have most all of the typical Aspie weaknesses but I do not have any of the strengths. I $#ck with academics, math, science & not great with technology; probably related to learning problems like dyslexia. I have major problems focusing sometimes because of the 5years I was on psych meds. People think I'm retorted, stupid ect because I'm very awkward & can get confused very easily.

I'm overweight
Very opinionated
I can't drive
I have no job
I'm not confident
I tend to think negatively
I'm not a slut (I'm not looking to change this either)
I can beat the s**t out of a guy

Solutions: Exercise and diet (In progress, lost 30-40 pounds this past year), driving school (in progress), Um...not sure how to solve the rest of it. Some of these are a natural part of my personality that I don't think I could change if I want to. The confidence thing...well, that's tied in with driving and exercise I guess.