don't you hate it when...

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hyperlexian
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16 Jun 2011, 9:23 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:

It makes sense, yes. we should not mention packages. or bits. and should look at whole people.

i see what you did there. :wink:

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hyperlexian
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16 Jun 2011, 9:31 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

yes, hate it. what would always go through my head is, ''don't they know i want them to describe ME?'' but i have used it as an opening to express interest, as in: ''oh, that sounds nothing like me. too bad.'' and it allowed the person to elaborate. it went any number of directions from there. risky but better than stewing about it, in my experience.

hmm, i figure if they like me they wouldn't be telling me about the bubbly buxom brunette they long for, so best not to probe. i'm not one to put my heart on the line

yeah, but half the time they are simultaneously flirting with you while they are listing some "ideal" characteristics. sometimes they are just talking smack to see your reaction

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zen_mistress
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16 Jun 2011, 11:48 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:

zen_mistress wrote:

OneStepBeyond wrote:

Chronos wrote:

OneStepBeyond wrote:

someone you like describes their ideal partner or their 'type', and it's everything but you

I'm not most peoples' type and I wouldn't want to be with someone who's type I'm not.

so you don't get disappointed when you start liking someone and then find out you don't fit the bill?

You just note it and move on.

not even a teenyweeny bit?

Of course disappointment is felt. But you must move on regardless.

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hale_bopp
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17 Jun 2011, 1:11 am

OneStepBeyond wrote:

someone you like describes their ideal partner or their 'type', and it's everything but you

I've had boyfriends do it.

Makes you feel really attractive, being settled for.

pree10shun
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17 Jun 2011, 1:22 am

I never understood why there's a type.. I mean if it is supposed to last and you are with the right person it'll last... why go and limit yourself to a type? :shrug:

I've never even considered what my type would be...

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17 Jun 2011, 1:26 am

pree10shun wrote:

I never understood why there's a type.. I mean if it is supposed to last and you are with the right person it'll last... why go and limit yourself to a type? :shrug:

I've never even considered what my type would be...

I agree, I dont believe there should be a checklist for love. It either is or isnt. Simple enough. There may be things the person does/has that you like about them but you shouldnt have a mental mold for what you want your partner to be.

pree10shun
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17 Jun 2011, 1:32 am

MXH wrote:

pree10shun wrote:

I never understood why there's a type.. I mean if it is supposed to last and you are with the right person it'll last... why go and limit yourself to a type? :shrug:

I've never even considered what my type would be...

Yeah, just unrealistic expectations... they need to grow up...

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17 Jun 2011, 2:25 am

hyperlexian wrote:

OneStepBeyond wrote:

It makes sense, yes. we should not mention packages. or bits. and should look at whole people.

i see what you did there. :wink:

I envisage your mind as a sewage works sometimes

Oh hold on....

I've lost my laz approved pic!

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Laz
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17 Jun 2011, 2:28 am

Quote:

i don't think that sounds like such a hideous bloop. it is just your worrying self-conscious mind amplifying events

Oh trust me, I've really put my foot in it sometimes. I just don't trust my instincts at the best of times. Basically I'm enternally trapped in the dilema of this...

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Solvejg
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17 Jun 2011, 4:28 am

I tend to tick most boxes for guys but i have 3 things which make most guys funny about me. 1. My height. 2. My autism. 3. My kids.

When i was younger, I knew i could walk up to any guy anywhere and as long as they were single i could pick them up. I didn't have a list of things i liked but i had a rough idea. I ended up in some awful situations.

After my marriage broke down, i made a list of things i would like in a partner and things i wouldn't settle for and things which didn't matter at all.

I really don't care if i make a person's list or not. As long as they fit mine and make me feel loved. that is all i want in a partner.

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hyperlexian
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17 Jun 2011, 7:00 am

Laz wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

OneStepBeyond wrote:

It makes sense, yes. we should not mention packages. or bits. and should look at whole people.

i see what you did there. :wink:

I envisage your mind as a sewage works sometimes

Oh hold on....

I've lost my laz approved pic!

it IS rather like a sewer. i believe i could turn most things into a dirty joke. don't get too close to the gutter or i will pull you down!

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OneStepBeyond
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17 Jun 2011, 10:19 am

Solvejg wrote:

When i was younger, I knew i could walk up to any guy anywhere and as long as they were single i could pick them up

alright for some!

Laz
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17 Jun 2011, 10:22 am

OneStepBeyond wrote:

Solvejg wrote:

When i was younger, I knew i could walk up to any guy anywhere and as long as they were single i could pick them up

alright for some!

Could be quite a problem if your a token hetrosexual at a gay bar in soho.

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MollyTroubletail
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17 Jun 2011, 10:37 am

I don't think it matters what type someone says is their ideal, it is merely idle chat.

My husband always says his ideal type is a brown-eyed, straight-haired, brunette midget who is social and outgoing. Yet who did he marry? Me, a green-eyed, frizzy-haired, red-headed woman of ordinary size, who has Aspergers and is awkward and mute in group outings. And believe me, he didn't "settle", I made him work hard to win me over.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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17 Jun 2011, 10:43 am

Laz wrote:

Quote:

Not really. Most people don't have a clue what it is they want

Spot on. People like to think they do, reality is you haven't a clue what kind of people you will end up with.

Quote:

My reaction to this scenario has always been to smirk and change the subject

When I've heard people say these sorts of things. I often begin to ponder if they have some kind of subtle hidden agenda in what they are saying. Particularly if they are an aquaintance, friend or work colleague. It's like some subtle declaration of intention without you even asking or it coming into your thought processes at any point in the conversation.

It's like when you meet with someone and they at some point within the first few sentances of their introduction have to pass mention of their partner in order to just give you this silly little message that they are taken. It takes the biscuit sometimes. Yesterday was a great example I mean FFS I'm meeting you cause your the social worker of the person I'm working with not to potentially fornicate with you deary me.

anyway sorry off topic

You may be onto something here.

What they're really saying is "I'm just not that into you."

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Laz
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17 Jun 2011, 10:45 am

Thats polite I think it's more basic and crude then that.

"Let me just cut to the chase, no chance of f*****g me love"

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