how to find a soulmate?

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okay, here's some potentially unpopular advice.... i think it would be advantageous to completely throw out the idea of a soul mate. here's are some potential problems with the soul mate idea:

-it's possible that nobody will ever be good enough to qualify as the mythical soulmate. i've had friends like this who are holding out for that one perfect person.... and they meanwhile reject every potential person because there weren't instant fireworks

-if a potential soul mate is ever found, the concept idealises or pedestalises the eventual relationship and the other person so that they can do no wrong... until tehy do something wrong and everything crashes to earth

-if the relationship ends, then a person can end up with "oneitis" (thanks for teaching me that word, spongy!), and then they will be pining for the loss of the one true love forever and ever, and potentially never find happiness again

putting the concept of soul mate aside for a moment, i think it can be a bad idea to have a relationship as a goal unto itself. better to focus on meeting people in general and work from there. watch for chance to take the first step when you meet a person that you like, and learn to take advantage of opportunities.


there isn't a special "way" of finding a significant other. most people will find someone eventually and the ones who do finally find love didn't have a special key to happiness. that's why it is very hard to give general advice and it can come across as trite - there is no exact recipe. more specific details about your life and activities, or about your past attempts to meet people, could help us give more specific guidance.

A soulmate ( or soul mate) is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate. In New Age spirituality, the ultimate soulmate is the one and only other half of one's soul.

most people intend it to mean a "one true love". one definition, from wikipedia:



i accept that there are lots of other definitions for it, but i was going with the most commonly accepted one. i have no idea if friends can be soul mates. it's not a terminology i would be comfortable with.

okay, here's some potentially unpopular advice.... i think it would be advantageous to completely throw out the idea of a soul mate. here's are some potential problems with the soul mate idea:


-it's possible that nobody will ever be good enough to qualify as the mythical soulmate. i've had friends like this who are holding out for that one perfect person.... and they meanwhile reject every potential person because there weren't instant fireworks

-if a potential soul mate is ever found, the concept idealises or pedestalises the eventual relationship and the other person so that they can do no wrong... until tehy do something wrong and everything crashes to earth

-if the relationship ends, then a person can end up with "oneitis" (thanks for teaching me that word, spongy!), and then they will be pining for the loss of the one true love forever and ever, and potentially never find happiness again


putting the concept of soul mate aside for a moment, i think it can be a bad idea to have a relationship as a goal unto itself. better to focus on meeting people in general and work from there. watch for chance to take the first step when you meet a person that you like, and learn to take advantage of opportunities.


there isn't a special "way" of finding a significant other. most people will find someone eventually and the ones who do finally find love didn't have a special key to happiness. that's why it is very hard to give general advice and it can come across as trite - there is no exact recipe. more specific details about your life and activities, or about your past attempts to meet people, could help us give more specific guidance.

"Soulmate" is just the idea that we are entitled to perfect romantic happiness. I suspect that anyone who has the achieved the smallest amount of lasting romantic happiness has worked rather hard for it and knows that their partner is not perfectly compatible. Of course that's just a hunch, since I'm still waiting for Miss Fireworks to come along.

There is a difference between soulmates and twin soul. When people say soulmate they usually underneath it all mean twin flame or also called twin soul.

Soulmates can appear to be your twin flame but when later on you actually meet your twin flame (it's happening more now), it is undeniable.

There is a problem though. Often times when you meet your twin flame, there are MANY obstacles to face. Your twin soul may also be married and you aren't or you are both already with someone. Your twin flame will sometimes act childish about the strong undeniable magnetism between you two and can pull you in then push you away.

When you are next to your twin soul, you feel tingly. You don't even have to touch.
When you look into their eyes if you do that, it freaks you out. It feels like you know that person without really knowing the person.
Your whole world turns upside down.
When you aren't around that person you feel sad as if a part of you is missing.
If the person upset you, you forgive with ease when around that person.
If you are a woman, you notice suddenly all the women that surround the two of you start driving wedges between you.
If you are a man you probably don't care because the attention makes you smile.

The two of you have so much in common. Same hobbies, similar taste in music, same type of quirks, similar thoughts on life etc..
While you won't have every little thing in common, the things you don't have in common are complimentary towards each other.
You'll notice that you are seeing double digit numbers often like 11:11, 22, 33 etc..
You met in a strange way that you would have never guessed you would meet your twin soul.

Then suddenly, the two of you go your separate ways.
You only come together when meeting if both of you have resolved your life issues prior to meeting.
If you've both tried to keep together somehow, others will come in to make sure that doesn't happen.
You are split apart and now you face another challenge. Being without that person.
You feel sad. You may even think of suicide but something inside lets you know it's temporary.

During this time you grieve. You may even wake up crying.
If you are separated, it means the two of you have other battles in life that you must deal with alone.
After you do that however and are ready to reunite, sometimes the other person is so sad about being rejected that they leave without a trace. Nowhere to be found.
If that happens, it wasn't meant to be this life. Maybe next time.
If you do come together after the separation, congrats!

Having a twin flame isn't really pleasant unless the two of you are ready to stop pushing each other away and embrace each other.

okay, here's some potentially unpopular advice.... i think it would be advantageous to completely throw out the idea of a soul mate. here's are some potential problems with the soul mate idea:


-it's possible that nobody will ever be good enough to qualify as the mythical soulmate. i've had friends like this who are holding out for that one perfect person.... and they meanwhile reject every potential person because there weren't instant fireworks

-if a potential soul mate is ever found, the concept idealises or pedestalises the eventual relationship and the other person so that they can do no wrong... until tehy do something wrong and everything crashes to earth

-if the relationship ends, then a person can end up with "oneitis" (thanks for teaching me that word, spongy!), and then they will be pining for the loss of the one true love forever and ever, and potentially never find happiness again


putting the concept of soul mate aside for a moment, i think it can be a bad idea to have a relationship as a goal unto itself. better to focus on meeting people in general and work from there. watch for chance to take the first step when you meet a person that you like, and learn to take advantage of opportunities.


there isn't a special "way" of finding a significant other. most people will find someone eventually and the ones who do finally find love didn't have a special key to happiness. that's why it is very hard to give general advice and it can come across as trite - there is no exact recipe. more specific details about your life and activities, or about your past attempts to meet people, could help us give more specific guidance.