Friends zone and not understanding women

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Self image and self esteem are all in the subconscious.
As one thinks of themselves....so will you eventually become.

The woman you posted may be disgustingly obese to some,but in her mind she has convinced herself that she is attractive.Just the same a girl could be astonishingly beautiful and fit,but if she's been told she's worthless her whole life she's bound to have serious self esteem issues.

I've been using meditation and a possitive affirmation tape to increase my feelings of self worth.Seem to be making some progress

Can be considered being delusional

Reminds me of the show Glee. Lauren Zizes is not thin and all that, yet she runs the school like she is the hottest girl there. The way she thinks changes the way she comes across, and Puckerman is crazy about her.

I firmly believe things aren't a big issue unless we make them an issue. I told this to my sister when I said to quit bringing up her history of depression if she doesn't want to be treated differently. She says it's not a big deal, yet constantly talks about it, seeks validation, etc, so obviously, it is a big deal.

I find ways to not make my own issues a big deal, and as a result, they're not.

Hell, I'd switch places with the OP. Never met a lady who even wanted to be my friend. I might find them annoying after a while, but it's probably an experience I should have.

Are you saying that they all want to date you,or that you can't develop any kind of relationships with women at all?

I probably have friendzoned guys in the past because I don't see them as being interested in me unless they're very obvious about it. I figured that why would they ever find me attractive when I'm the fattest girl here? They must be winking at my friend sitting next to me because she's so much prettier than me. When guys are overt with me I get intimidated and hide. Granted, this never happened to me in real life, only online. Maybe I'm not as attractive in person? I have no idea. >.<

Okay, answering the OP's question. If you have been friendzoned, consider the idea that they might not have even been aware that you liked themin the first place.

I guess I'm still wondering something here. How do I tell you I'm interested without telling you I'm interested? I've been very direct about that most of my life. I've said, 'Here's the deal. I like you. I'd like you to like me' and waited, and often end up filling the silence with, 'Soooo.... now what?'

So what is the more neurotypical way to show I like you without causing an awkward scene by telling you I like you? Reminds me of Hitch, when Smith's character goes on a rant at how stupid falling in love is, see it here.

Usually if you ask them if they´d like to do a 2 people activity such as coffee and you make it clear that its just going to be the two of you they get the idea that you like them.

You have to put yourself out there and face a possible rejection but its much unlikelier to be friendzoned by doing this and if you are its not your fault.

I guess I'm still wondering something here. How do I tell you I'm interested without telling you I'm interested? I've been very direct about that most of my life. I've said, 'Here's the deal. I like you. I'd like you to like me' and waited, and often end up filling the silence with, 'Soooo.... now what?'

So what is the more neurotypical way to show I like you without causing an awkward scene by telling you I like you? Reminds me of Hitch, when Smith's character goes on a rant at how stupid falling in love is, see it here.

The latter.

Every now and then there will be some interest expressed but I never catch it or don't know how to respond and the interest is lost very quickly. So technically, I can't develop any kind of relationship with women.

me, I can't friendzone something that isn't there.

Nearly all my life I've been a good friend. Such a good friend that girls wouldn't want to wreck that. For so long I thought I was so f**** up that I thought it would be selfish to bring a girl down to my level. I couldn't fix myself and become normal. Eventually I tried to off myself, and six months after that I got the Aspie diagnosis. Now I don't feel so terrible about myself, as I'm not to 'blame' for being so different.

All this goes to show that I have struggled with the ladies beyond being good friends. I have never been out with one girl more than six times, and never had a real girlfriend. I've only kissed a girl (sober) once, and that was last week, at 25. I've never had (sober) sex or anything more.

I used to go to my friends who were girls, and ask for step by step guidelines on how to make things work with girls. They implied that such a nice guy like me would know it when I saw it, would need to play it by ear, etc. I did that, and it never worked.

I found out years later with a few girls that if I had made a move or tried to 'get some' they would have happily provided. One in particular asked what was wrong with me years earlier. I didn't say this, but thought 'You never explicitly told me what I could or couldn't do.' I used to think the ideas of men taking the lead, making moves, etc, was a way that the church and men keep women down, and the liberated woman tells the man what's ok.

After all, guys have a button pretty much. We're always ready to go, we just need to know what is off limits, we'll take care of the rest.

Can anyone relate? Is there a rule book somewhere, or an online translator to know what girls mean when they don't explicitly say it?

Nearly all my life I've been a good friend. Such a good friend that girls wouldn't want to wreck that. For so long I thought I was so f**** up that I thought it would be selfish to bring a girl down to my level. I couldn't fix myself and become normal. Eventually I tried to off myself, and six months after that I got the Aspie diagnosis. Now I don't feel so terrible about myself, as I'm not to 'blame' for being so different.

All this goes to show that I have struggled with the ladies beyond being good friends. I have never been out with one girl more than six times, and never had a real girlfriend. I've only kissed a girl (sober) once, and that was last week, at 25. I've never had (sober) sex or anything more.

I used to go to my friends who were girls, and ask for step by step guidelines on how to make things work with girls. They implied that such a nice guy like me would know it when I saw it, would need to play it by ear, etc. I did that, and it never worked.

I found out years later with a few girls that if I had made a move or tried to 'get some' they would have happily provided. One in particular asked what was wrong with me years earlier. I didn't say this, but thought 'You never explicitly told me what I could or couldn't do.' I used to think the ideas of men taking the lead, making moves, etc, was a way that the church and men keep women down, and the liberated woman tells the man what's ok.

After all, guys have a button pretty much. We're always ready to go, we just need to know what is off limits, we'll take care of the rest.

Can anyone relate? Is there a rule book somewhere, or an online translator to know what girls mean when they don't explicitly say it?