30 Jun 2011, 1:25 pm
gtw1983 wrote:
We Christians on average aren't bad people.
What has happened is that like me,you had your parents/grandparents force their own values on you instead of letting you make your own decisions.That breeds anger and hatred,believe me I know.When I was growing up I also resented Christianity and going to church because I was forced to conform to their standards.Now my grandfather knows better.If I say I'm not going to church today I'm not going to church.Simple as that.And I can honestly say that since I'm now allowed to worship in my own way I feel much happier.He's still big sticker for being 'properly dressed' though,and I have to keep reminding him I go to church to worship God not be fashionable.
Also your mother projecting her own fears and bitterness onto you because of what your father/her ex has done in the past is plain out wrong.You should ask her if she ralizes that there ARE plenty of ways to meet potential partners online besides going on a dating site.Relationships and marriages are made all the time through forums,chat rooms,and other online media.The great thing about the internet is that you can go onto a topic specific forum or chat room( like wrong planet) to find like minded people or those with the same kind of interests as you.In my mind the internet is actually a great tool because you don't waste time going on dates with people that you have absolutely nothing in common with.As long as the people don't lie to each other they can find out if they're compatible even before they meet for the first time
What has happened is that like me,you had your parents/grandparents force their own values on you instead of letting you make your own decisions.That breeds anger and hatred,believe me I know.When I was growing up I also resented Christianity and going to church because I was forced to conform to their standards.Now my grandfather knows better.If I say I'm not going to church today I'm not going to church.Simple as that.And I can honestly say that since I'm now allowed to worship in my own way I feel much happier.He's still big sticker for being 'properly dressed' though,and I have to keep reminding him I go to church to worship God not be fashionable.
Also your mother projecting her own fears and bitterness onto you because of what your father/her ex has done in the past is plain out wrong.You should ask her if she ralizes that there ARE plenty of ways to meet potential partners online besides going on a dating site.Relationships and marriages are made all the time through forums,chat rooms,and other online media.The great thing about the internet is that you can go onto a topic specific forum or chat room( like wrong planet) to find like minded people or those with the same kind of interests as you.In my mind the internet is actually a great tool because you don't waste time going on dates with people that you have absolutely nothing in common with.As long as the people don't lie to each other they can find out if they're compatible even before they meet for the first time
Christians ruined my life. Therefore I never want to be near one or at least date one ever. I can't trust them and they can't trust me.
Please. She won't listen to reason. I feel like I'll be trapped by her overbearing bitchiness until she dies. She's only 47 so I don't think I can wait that long.
30 Jun 2011, 1:44 pm
Erisad wrote:
Christians ruined my life. Therefore I never want to be near one or at least date one ever. I can't trust them and they can't trust me.
I am sorry that your experiences with Christians have been so negative so far
I really do think that parents shoving religion and other lifestyles down their children's throats often leads them to become Atheist or agnostic.I believe in teaching them yes..but once they become of age they have to start making their own choices.With that said I really do beleive your views on Christianity would soften someday when you were finally able to pull from under your moms thumb and experience the world more fully for yourself.Sounds like you've been exposed to a band of Christian fundamentalists all your life,and it has soured your outlook on all of us.When you say Christian's have 'ruined your life' are you just talking about your mom/family/church,or do you have experience outside of that.
Erisad wrote:
Please. She won't listen to reason. I feel like I'll be trapped by her overbearing bitchiness until she dies. She's only 47 so I don't think I can wait that long.
Also I was wondering why do you think you are trapped under your mothers rule until she dies.
Are you taking care of her?I live with my 75 yr old grandfather because he's too weak to do everything that needs to be done at the house.
Or is it because you're not sure if you would be able t currently survive with your own place and vehicle?Didn't you mention earlier that you don't drive?
I ask not out of disrespect but because I have seen some with aspergers/autism on these forums who admit they wouldn't do well on their own.
30 Jun 2011, 1:50 pm
gtw1983 wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Christians ruined my life. Therefore I never want to be near one or at least date one ever. I can't trust them and they can't trust me.
I am sorry that your experiences with Christians have been so negative so far
I really do think that parents shoving religion and other lifestyles down their children's throats often leads them to become Atheist or agnostic.I believe in teaching them yes..but once they become of age they have to start making their own choices.With that said I really do beleive your views on Christianity would soften someday when you were finally able to pull from under your moms thumb and experience the world more fully for yourself.Sounds like you've been exposed to a band of Christian fundamentalists all your life,and it has soured your outlook on all of us.When you say Christian's have 'ruined your life' are you just talking about your mom/family/church,or do you have experience outside of that.
Erisad wrote:
Please. She won't listen to reason. I feel like I'll be trapped by her overbearing bitchiness until she dies. She's only 47 so I don't think I can wait that long.
Also I was wondering why do you think you are trapped under your mothers rule until she dies.
Are you taking care of her?I live with my 75 yr old grandfather because he's too weak to do everything that needs to be done at the house.
Or is it because you're not sure if you would be able t currently survive with your own place and vehicle?Didn't you mention earlier that you don't drive?
I ask not out of disrespect but because I have seen some with aspergers/autism on these forums who admit they wouldn't do well on their own.
Well, family and church and those darn protesters at my college. Sorry, I'm tired of getting preached at about the condition of my "soul." Look, I don't need God. I already have an absent father who does nothing for me so what good is there in another "Father" who never speaks to me? :/
I'm learning to drive and I really suck at it. I also can't find a job and I don't know if I'd ever get paid enough where I could afford my own place and car insurance and all that. Everything is so expensive it's hard for people who are just starting out.
30 Jun 2011, 2:20 pm
Erisad wrote:
Well, family and church and those darn protesters at my college. Sorry, I'm tired of getting preached at about the condition of my "soul." Look, I don't need God. I already have an absent father who does nothing for me so what good is there in another "Father" who never speaks to me? :/
Right..well then I can certainly see why you would be bitter after the things that you have been through.
While I disagree with your assertion that you don't need God or Jesus,it is indeed your choice to make and I respect that.If you are ever willing one thing I might suggest is that you read the bible for yourself instead of letting some guy in a podium tell you how it is.All of them claim to be lead by God,and yet many have varying idea's.Obviously some of them are lying or mistaken.That's why I'm learning to read the bible instead of worrying so much about church attendance
Erisad wrote:
I'm learning to drive and I really suck at it.
Lol..I didn't learn to drive until I was 19 myself.Having a good teacher makes all the difference.Your moms not the one trying to instruct you is she?
Erisad wrote:
I also can't find a job and I don't know if I'd ever get paid enough where I could afford my own place and car insurance and all that. Everything is so expensive it's hard for people who are just starting out.
Oh ok...it's money trouble then.
I hear ya,I definitely couldn't afford to live by myself currently.Roommates would be a good to consider though if you get a halfway decent job.I would do it myself it it weren't for the fact my grandpa needs me.Love him and all,but at least with the roommates I wouldn't have to toe the line so much.Not forced to go to church or anything anymore,but I still have a long ways to go to find any huge semblance of freedom
30 Jun 2011, 2:51 pm
gtw1983 wrote:
Right..well then I can certainly see why you would be bitter after the things that you have been through.
While I disagree with your assertion that you don't need God or Jesus,it is indeed your choice to make and I respect that.If you are ever willing one thing I might suggest is that you read the bible for yourself instead of letting some guy in a podium tell you how it is.All of them claim to be lead by God,and yet many have varying idea's.Obviously some of them are lying or mistaken.That's why I'm learning to read the bible instead of worrying so much about church attendance
Lol..I didn't learn to drive until I was 19 myself.Having a good teacher makes all the difference.Your moms not the one trying to instruct you is she?
Oh ok...it's money trouble then.
I hear ya,I definitely couldn't afford to live by myself currently.Roommates would be a good to consider though if you get a halfway decent job.I would do it myself it it weren't for the fact my grandpa needs me.Love him and all,but at least with the roommates I wouldn't have to toe the line so much.Not forced to go to church or anything anymore,but I still have a long ways to go to find any huge semblance of freedom
While I disagree with your assertion that you don't need God or Jesus,it is indeed your choice to make and I respect that.If you are ever willing one thing I might suggest is that you read the bible for yourself instead of letting some guy in a podium tell you how it is.All of them claim to be lead by God,and yet many have varying idea's.Obviously some of them are lying or mistaken.That's why I'm learning to read the bible instead of worrying so much about church attendance
Erisad wrote:
I'm learning to drive and I really suck at it.
Lol..I didn't learn to drive until I was 19 myself.Having a good teacher makes all the difference.Your moms not the one trying to instruct you is she?
Erisad wrote:
I also can't find a job and I don't know if I'd ever get paid enough where I could afford my own place and car insurance and all that. Everything is so expensive it's hard for people who are just starting out.
Oh ok...it's money trouble then.
I hear ya,I definitely couldn't afford to live by myself currently.Roommates would be a good to consider though if you get a halfway decent job.I would do it myself it it weren't for the fact my grandpa needs me.Love him and all,but at least with the roommates I wouldn't have to toe the line so much.Not forced to go to church or anything anymore,but I still have a long ways to go to find any huge semblance of freedom
If God existed and had any mercy in his heart, he would have killed me years ago or at least made me a neurotypical so I would have a chance at surviving this sh***y world.
You were a lot ahead of me in driving then. I'm almost 22 and I still suck at it. My mom helps me practice and I'm paying for an instructor to teach me. I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of it.
Right. Then my roommate would have to drive me around everywhere and I'd be dependent on them and they'll end up hating me for it.
30 Jun 2011, 3:33 pm
Erisad wrote:
If God existed and had any mercy in his heart, he would have killed me years ago or at least made me a neurotypical so I would have a chance at surviving this sh***y world.
Yep...I know having Aspergers seems like hell on earth at times.
I so want to be able to keep up with NT's and bond with them like normal people.But I just feel emotionally stunted and it's hard to make any lasting connections with people.
But you shouldn't worry so much about finding a BF/Husband.I mean I have over 5 yrs on you,ya seem really young to an older fella like me..lol.I haven't had many experiences either so you definitely ain't alone.
Now as for God I used to think like that all the time.Still do fairly frequently at times ( chronic depression is a frequent companion).But then when I try to remember how God himself was willing to come to earth and suffer so badly for us all,I understand better that pain and suffering is a universal part of life.Even God didn't leave himself exempt.
Also there are certainly NT's and even many other Aspies who are much more outgoing and better functioning than me.But at the same time there are some who are far worse off than me,whom could probably never make it on their own at all.I think about how lucky I am to be able to still walk,talk,see,hear,and taste despite my social and emotional difficulties.There are many afflicted out there who can't even enjoy those simple joys of life.
might not help you that much,but it's something to think about.
Erisad wrote:
You were a lot ahead of me in driving then. I'm almost 22 and I still suck at it. My mom helps me practice and I'm paying for an instructor to teach me. I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of it.
You're doing pretty darn well for yourself actually.I've known several people who were in their 30's and still depended on their parents and friends to give them rides.And as far as I know these people didn't have a social anxiety disorder like Aspergers to deal with either.Maybe the only reason you think you 'suck' at it is because your main teacher is your mother,whom you're obviously not that comfortable with.One reason I waited so long was because my main teacher was my grandfather,whom like your mother seemed to sometimes have a nervous stick jammed up their anus.How about the paid instructor?does he make you feel nervous?
Erisad wrote:
Right. Then my roommate would have to drive me around everywhere and I'd be dependent on them and they'll end up hating me for it.
Well if you want to avoid this,to be perfectly honest you should focus all your energy on getting your license and a car of your own.As painful as it may be it's your best best on starting your climb to freedom.Beleive me..once you drive you should be able to get away from your family a lot more.It's helps a lot trust me.Only after then you can perhaps focus on finding a cheap apartment with a friend or a random room mate.
Two questions.....
1: Is there any way your mom or another relative could help you buy a used car to drive?
2: Do you have any friends (whether online or in RL) that are close,you trust,and think would be interested in sharing an apartment?
AngelKnight
Veteran
Joined: 3 May 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 749
Location: This is not my home; I'm just passing through
30 Jun 2011, 3:40 pm
--- BEGIN OOPS, POSTED TOO FAST ---
(off-topic) I think the discussions about divinity in the thread have gone as far as they can, and all sides will continue to have a more pleasant thread if it divinity gives it a miss for a bit 
(/off-topic)
(edit) okay, gtw1983 finished with his piece above, while I was composing. Reasonable intentions on his part, bad timing on mine. We now return to the rest of my written incontinence...
--- END OOPS, POSTED TOO FAST ---
Erisad, it sounds an awful lot like your mother's mind is made up, and that when faced with new information on the subject of online dating, she's willing to stick to what she knows in favor of new information. I don't know that anecdotes, or logical arguments, or jumping up and down with lightning flying from your eyes will convince her. Not if she'd prefer to be right (in her mind) about online dating and its ills, and especially if she has such a personal stake in her opinion. End of speech.
Just to throw her off, you might just nod, smile, say "uh-huh" aloud while saying "Sheesh what a weirdo" in your mind. You may need to practice a few times in order to ensure that the "sheesh what a weirdo part" doesn't get said aloud.
30 Jun 2011, 3:43 pm
gtw1983 wrote:
Yep...I know having Aspergers seems like hell on earth at times.
I so want to be able to keep up with NT's and bond with them like normal people.But I just feel emotionally stunted and it's hard to make any lasting connections with people.
But you shouldn't worry so much about finding a BF/Husband.I mean I have over 5 yrs on you,ya seem really young to an older fella like me..lol.I haven't had many experiences either so you definitely ain't alone.
Now as for God I used to think like that all the time.Still do fairly frequently at times ( chronic depression is a frequent companion).But then when I try to remember how God himself was willing to come to earth and suffer so badly for us all,I understand better that pain and suffering is a universal part of life.Even God didn't leave himself exempt.
Also there are certainly NT's and even many other Aspies who are much more outgoing and better functioning than me.But at the same time there are some who are far worse off than me,whom could probably never make it on their own at all.I think about how lucky I am to be able to still walk,talk,see,hear,and taste despite my social and emotional difficulties.There are many afflicted out there who can't even enjoy those simple joys of life.
might not help you that much,but it's something to think about.
You're doing pretty darn well for yourself actually.I've known several people who were in their 30's and still depended on their parents and friends to give them rides.And as far as I know these people didn't have a social anxiety disorder like Aspergers to deal with either.Maybe the only reason you think you 'suck' at it is because your main teacher is your mother,whom you're obviously not that comfortable with.One reason I waited so long was because my main teacher was my grandfather,whom like your mother seemed to sometimes have a nervous stick jammed up their anus.How about the paid instructor?does he make you feel nervous?
Right. Then my roommate would have to drive me around everywhere and I'd be dependent on them and they'll end up hating me for it.
Well if you want to avoid this,to be perfectly honest you should focus all your energy on getting your license and a car of your own.As painful as it may be it's your best best on starting your climb to freedom.Beleive me..once you drive you should be able to get away from your family a lot more.It's helps a lot trust me.Only after then you can perhaps focus on finding a cheap apartment with a friend or a random room mate.
Two questions.....
1: Is there any way your mom or another relative could help you buy a used car to drive?
2: Do you have any friends (whether online or in RL) that are close,you trust,and think would be interested in sharing an apartment?
I so want to be able to keep up with NT's and bond with them like normal people.But I just feel emotionally stunted and it's hard to make any lasting connections with people.
But you shouldn't worry so much about finding a BF/Husband.I mean I have over 5 yrs on you,ya seem really young to an older fella like me..lol.I haven't had many experiences either so you definitely ain't alone.
Now as for God I used to think like that all the time.Still do fairly frequently at times ( chronic depression is a frequent companion).But then when I try to remember how God himself was willing to come to earth and suffer so badly for us all,I understand better that pain and suffering is a universal part of life.Even God didn't leave himself exempt.
Also there are certainly NT's and even many other Aspies who are much more outgoing and better functioning than me.But at the same time there are some who are far worse off than me,whom could probably never make it on their own at all.I think about how lucky I am to be able to still walk,talk,see,hear,and taste despite my social and emotional difficulties.There are many afflicted out there who can't even enjoy those simple joys of life.
might not help you that much,but it's something to think about.
Erisad wrote:
You were a lot ahead of me in driving then. I'm almost 22 and I still suck at it. My mom helps me practice and I'm paying for an instructor to teach me. I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of it.
You're doing pretty darn well for yourself actually.I've known several people who were in their 30's and still depended on their parents and friends to give them rides.And as far as I know these people didn't have a social anxiety disorder like Aspergers to deal with either.Maybe the only reason you think you 'suck' at it is because your main teacher is your mother,whom you're obviously not that comfortable with.One reason I waited so long was because my main teacher was my grandfather,whom like your mother seemed to sometimes have a nervous stick jammed up their anus.How about the paid instructor?does he make you feel nervous?
Erisad wrote:
Right. Then my roommate would have to drive me around everywhere and I'd be dependent on them and they'll end up hating me for it.
Well if you want to avoid this,to be perfectly honest you should focus all your energy on getting your license and a car of your own.As painful as it may be it's your best best on starting your climb to freedom.Beleive me..once you drive you should be able to get away from your family a lot more.It's helps a lot trust me.Only after then you can perhaps focus on finding a cheap apartment with a friend or a random room mate.
Two questions.....
1: Is there any way your mom or another relative could help you buy a used car to drive?
2: Do you have any friends (whether online or in RL) that are close,you trust,and think would be interested in sharing an apartment?
Well, I've dreamed of being a mother since I was little. If I never accomplish that in my life, I would consider myself a failure. Well, more of one than I already am.
How am I better? I don't have my license yet. I technically still can't drive anyone. :/
1. no.
2. not yet. they can't afford it either.
30 Jun 2011, 4:06 pm
Erisad wrote:
Well, I've dreamed of being a mother since I was little. If I never accomplish that in my life, I would consider myself a failure. Well, more of one than I already am.
Women can safely give birth to children up till around 40 yrs old.And some have had amazingly bared healthy kids in their 50's or near 60.
In the least you have another 19-20 yrs left,why are you counting yourself out already?
Erisad wrote:
How am I better? I don't have my license yet. I technically still can't drive anyone. :/
Because..as I said at least you're not 35 or over like some whom I've seen and still depend on rides from their family and friends.You're just now starting adult hood,calm down and relax
Just because you didn't get your license at 16 or 17 like the average NT doesn't mean your self worth is any less.Try legitimately to focus on your driving lessons and you'll have your license before ya know it.
Erisad wrote:
1. no.
2. not yet. they can't afford it either.
2. not yet. they can't afford it either.
*sigh* Well I guess if they're not gonna help you'll just have to keep looking for a job and slowly pay a used car off.
Probably won't be a glamorous job,but in these times any income at all is a good thing.
30 Jun 2011, 4:31 pm
30 Jun 2011, 4:34 pm
gtw1983 wrote:
Women can safely give birth to children up till around 40 yrs old.And some have had amazingly bared healthy kids in their 50's or near 60.
In the least you have another 19-20 yrs left,why are you counting yourself out already?
Because..as I said at least you're not 35 or over like some whom I've seen and still depend on rides from their family and friends.You're just now starting adult hood,calm down and relax
Just because you didn't get your license at 16 or 17 like the average NT doesn't mean your self worth is any less.Try legitimately to focus on your driving lessons and you'll have your license before ya know it.
*sigh* Well I guess if they're not gonna help you'll just have to keep looking for a job and slowly pay a used car off.
Probably won't be a glamorous job,but in these times any income at all is a good thing.
In the least you have another 19-20 yrs left,why are you counting yourself out already?
Because..as I said at least you're not 35 or over like some whom I've seen and still depend on rides from their family and friends.You're just now starting adult hood,calm down and relax
Just because you didn't get your license at 16 or 17 like the average NT doesn't mean your self worth is any less.Try legitimately to focus on your driving lessons and you'll have your license before ya know it.
*sigh* Well I guess if they're not gonna help you'll just have to keep looking for a job and slowly pay a used car off.
Probably won't be a glamorous job,but in these times any income at all is a good thing.
Because it's harder for women to date when they get over age 30. The older you are, the chances of finding a man older than you is even harder. You have to look for divorced men, the scraps of other women. A lot of guys are chasing younger women so I need to get a man while I'm still young and decent-looking.
I'm trying! But I suck at it no matter what I do.
*sigh* I've applied to so many places and I don't think I'll ever get a call back. D:
30 Jun 2011, 6:53 pm
30 Jun 2011, 6:59 pm
30 Jun 2011, 7:35 pm
30 Jun 2011, 7:36 pm
30 Jun 2011, 7:48 pm
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