Was he a perv?

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Yes, women may experience some form of sexual misconduct in their lives, and I feel for them. However, it is usually by one man. How many men does one woman encounter in a year? Hundreds? In a lifetime? Thousands? I'm just trying to put some perspective on this. The number of women who experience sexual misconduct is disproportional to the number of men who perpetrate acts of sexual misconduct.

i had a female teacher in junior high who abused a student. he was 14 or 15. i wonder sometimes if it is more common than we know? as a teacher i was NEVER alone with male students as there were a couple of them who were definitely interested in being the ummm 'teacher's pet'. recipe for all kinds of false accusations!! !

anyways, to the OP - he sounds like he is unusual and maybe a bit intense or obsessive, but i would not assume anything paedo is involved or he would probably not be so open about it all!! !

Interesting post by Tequila, about becoming an avowed paedophobe. Me too!

However, I'm sure that if anyone becomes a paedophobe, they must admit it's merely a survival mechanism, as it is for me. Not that I blame them, because there is a heck of a thing to be survived here. It just goes to show the Dark Ages are alive and well among some of us, including some posters in this thread. While many other posters are clearly progressive, and absolutely not in the Dark Ages.

this is also relevant. took me a while to find it but it's an interesting read

click-Eek! A Male!

I'd be very surprised if it wasn't far more common than is reported, given that it's usually between two sexually mature, consenting people, there have even been cases of people marrying their "abuser". Although there are certainly moral/ethical aspects to consider I don't think such activity is inherently criminal in every case.

Sex acts involving sexually mature people and those involving pre-pubescent children are in different leagues and shouldn't be lumped together like they are now.

well in that case, it's a case of crappy age of consent laws and the fact a teenage male and and older woman is "hot" so it's not reported as much. reminds me again of a south park episode where a teacher was caught having sex with kyle's little brother. the cops are like "nice" and "the real crime is that i she won't do it with me" and then the cops are pretty much forced to do something about it by the principal. lol

ok probably bad example. but it's not criminal for like a 15 year old to have sex with a older teacher, well...it shouldn't be. why? simple, at 15, he/she knows what he/she is doing by having sex at that age. i even heard that say sex between like a 16 year old and a 20 year old is technicality rape too. i'm like wtf? it's only a 4 year difference.

that being said, i'm not saying age of consent laws is stupid. maybe it wouldn't hurt for it to be a little lower or for it to only apply under certain circumstances. shrug i donno

There are some reform-minded groups that seek to define a "child" for these purposes as someone who is pre-pubescent where all sex is unlawful, after that individuals are adequately protected by "adult" sexual misconduct laws.

This might eliminate some of the absurd situations where a 16 year old girl is required to register as a sex offender for life for getting caught having sex with her 15 year old
boyfriend.

good example 16 year old girl and 15 year old boy. she's a sex offender for having sex with her boyfriend. them having sex might piss off the parents but it's far from criminal. problem is parents take advantage of that crazy law to put away their child's boyfriend/girlfriend if the parents don't like him/her which that is the real crime

Yes, you're right in what you say. I'm not sure what you're point is, though. "Perspective" doesn't help much when you've just been fondled by your Scout leader or whatever.

I assure you I try not to paint all men with the "sex abuser" brush. But I repeat my earlier assertion that I think the problem is actually far more prevalent than we know.

No, no, no. Regardless of the sex or sexual maturity of the parties, high school teachers and students have vastly unequal power. I do believe there's a difference between that and abuse of pre-pubescent children, but that does not make it okay.

Edit: @ addison Great article!

To me, that sounds like a terrible overreaction. You may as well say that because some women have been known to falsely accuse men of raping them, you will henceforth avoid ALL women.

That's just not realistic.

I agree, a conviction should get a teacher fired and their credentials revoked if the activity was "consensual" and criminal prosecution if forced or coerced, just like any other sexual crime.

I'm not saying it's "OK", I'm arguing that it's not "child molestation" and should be handled differently.

yea i'm not saying that either. say if a high school teacher gets caught having sex with a student. fire the teacher or something. don't arrest the teacher.

legal or not it IS unpoffessional

Nothing comes across as pervy to me. It seems your date is the type of person that lacks a filter with the things he says. He says things in a way that might seem very odd to others.



Entirely paternal.



Watching after 10 children anywhere at anytime is hectic. The fact it was a bathroom made it awkward. If you say anything remotely about kids & bathrooms, it will cause a distorted view of a usually normal situation.

Imagine if I said to someone, "I met your kid in the bathroom today." simply because O truthfully overheard him talking about his parents while he was washing his hands. People would unfairly assume I was a pervert.



This is the only thing that raises a red flag for me.



Were you two visibly dating and/or interested in each other. If you were not dating, then that's too much. If you were, then expect that to happen.



You over reacted somewhat in thinking he was a pervert (sharing the stories of cute things kids do and expressing their paternal instincts does not mean he is perverted). However, he did cross the line with some of the things he did concerning you.



That is a common thing for kids to say and do. When one of my clients' kids warmed up to me when I just turned nineteen. I was watching television. Before I could stop him, he climbed onto my lap. Does that make me a pervert?

I think it is no more perverted for a kid to sit himself/herself in your lap than say a cat or dog. The most important thing is not to force the kid to sit on your lap against their will. It is then that it gets perverted.

The touching long hair and jumping into bed with parents makes me think he's a bit strange.

I would also be annoyed about what he did with your picture, but if you put a picture on the internet you have no control over what happens with it.

As for being a pedo.. who knows. He certainly talks about strange stuff. You'd think a pedo wouldn't talk about that sort of thing? I wouldn't worry about it. He may not know what he's saying is even weird or suspect.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions, but just keep an eye open. It's really your decision there isn't much people here can do about it.

My best guy friend loves kids, and hates pedophiles. Some guys are just gentle and kid-friendly (in a non-creepy way). That said, it is a little odd that he volunteered that kids hug him randomly, unless he thinks talking about kids is a good way to pick up chicks (some guys seem to think our ovarian clock ticks in our ears or something). The FB pic thing would make me back off though - too intense, not enough sensing each other out first.

But I do honestly know some guys who can't wait to have kids. I don't get it, but then - I don't really have a maternal instinct so the whole 'poppin out younguns' thing passed me by...