For those of you Aspies who did a break up...

Post Reply New Topic

The strange thing is, in our relationship, it never seemed like he needed a lot of space; he was the one who almost daily asked if we'd hang out together in the evening

Some Aspies get obsessed in the begging & they kind of push themselves to behave & act in a way that isn't how they normally are because they may feel like they are supposed to in a relationship or maybe because they are trying to change. They can get overwhelmed after a while of trying to be a way that isn't natural to em & need to break free

ok, thanks for explaining that

a month is indeed a very long time to cool down, I was thinking that too. I really don't expect he's going to come back anymore. It's so hard, I miss him so much. It's a shame he told me all those things about this being just a break/winning him back etc, giving me false hope for all these weeks. I'm not believing that anymore because he's behaving this way, with all the ignoring, it's probably a break up. I wish he would at least have told me about this being the end. He left me quite confused, not knowing what to expect or what he expects from me.

Thanks a lot for your help, you really helped me understand a bit more how Aspies deal with things like this

Glad I could help. I have heard of similar situations with Aspie guys & NT women. NOT all aspie guys are like that & some NT guys act like that to. Maybe he wasn't sure he wanted to break up or not at 1st & then decided to & cut all contact because he didn't want to deal with the pain but I'm just speculating

It seems a bit dishonest and unaspie-like to say "you have a chance" and then not give it to someone. Or perhaps you're right and it was his intention at first but he had no idea how to come back to it.

maybe he just doesn't have the intention anymore.

He started ignoring me right after the conversation in which he told me about the chance to win him back and the break. He must have changed his mind/intention pretty quick then

if his intentions indeed have changed and he doesn't want to get back together again, I just wish he would have told me. Now he left me thinking this might just be a break (although I highly doubt it at the moment) while this might very well be a break up.

well he must've changed his mind pretty quick than, because he started ignoring me immediatly after the conversation about this being a break, winning him back etc..just weird

Well, it could be that he just doesn't know what you'd like. You could just call him and ask him what he wants.

He doesnt pick up the phone and doesnt answer my emails, so I can't really ask him. I do live close to him, but I don't dare to go to his house at the moment

My relationship exes from whom I have no children are out of my life. I tried once to reconnect when he found me on facebook but he was the same asshat he ever was.

My relationship exes from whom I have children are still in my life in the capacity that they need to be in my life because we have kids.

People with whom I've had casual encounters or friends with benefits are still friends (just without benefits).

However, I'm more than fine with letting someone go. If they want to be friends with me (like the former FWB), and they're cool, they're more than welcome in my life. I have no interest in people who have no interest in me and if they're negative, they can go to hell for all I care.

Personally, I would pay more attention to his actions than his words.

Some people (myself included) simply cannot bear to say the words that need to be said and will dance around the subject forever to soften the blow.

I was on the receiving end of this recently (only it was just a rejection and not a real break-up) where I had to decide on my own that it was "over" even though the other person kept saying things that left a little hope.

I know it's difficult, but I would try to move on...

I should try that yes...it's really hard though. Should I send him a last text message asking if this is a break or a break up, what his opinion is at the moment? Or shouldn't I contact him at all?

I think you shouldn't bother with him anymore at all. Don't waste your time trying to contact him sense he's very obviously ignoring your

ok, well I'm not gonna contact him anymore at all. I do really miss him so much and I would like to think there's still a chance of getting back together, but I guess I'm only fooling myself.