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what according to you is more important in a relationship?

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which one according to you is more important in a relation?
Intellectual stimulation 46%  46%  [ 21 ]
Emotional attachement 54%  54%  [ 25 ]
Total votes : 46

LostUndergrad9090
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15 Aug 2011, 8:01 am

chrissyrun wrote:
LostUndergrad9090 wrote:
hopefully i will someday be problemless.


That's not possible and not healthy to think that way. A better goal would be to become better at handling the problems life will inevitably throw my way in a manner that causes the least pain to me and those around me.


How is that not healthy and not possible? I think I was there at like the age of 18.



hyperlexian
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15 Aug 2011, 8:30 am

Grisha wrote:
I chose intellectual stimulation because emotional attachment is sine qua non to a relationship and therefore intellectual stimulation is the only possible choice.

Is that Aspie of me or what? :wink:

i chose similarly, yet it brought me to the opposite conclusion. i couldn't have an emotional connection without intellectual stimulation, so if i have the emotional part, there must already exist the intellectual part. for me, the intellectual part is a given, but the emotional part is what evolves when going forward. so i chose emotional attachment.


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chrissyrun
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15 Aug 2011, 2:28 pm

LostUndergrad9090 wrote:
chrissyrun wrote:
LostUndergrad9090 wrote:
hopefully i will someday be problemless.


That's not possible and not healthy to think that way. A better goal would be to become better at handling the problems life will inevitably throw my way in a manner that causes the least pain to me and those around me.


How is that not healthy and not possible? I think I was there at like the age of 18.


You had to have some problems.....nobody has a carefree life, everyone has trials. Plus, if you think that way, when the trials do hit, they will be THAT much harder to cope with because you've set yourself up for the perfect life.


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dopplercb
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15 Aug 2011, 4:39 pm

intellectual stimulation. I can't be with an idiot.



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15 Aug 2011, 8:22 pm

dopplercb wrote:
intellectual stimulation. I can't be with an idiot.

Agreed. A lot of men that I met in the past were an instant fail with me, since they seemed to think that the way to win a woman's heart was to make loud, appreciative comments about various part of her anatomy as she walked past them. :roll:


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15 Aug 2011, 8:42 pm

Intellectual stimulation...I can't have emotional attachment without it (it comes later, if I ever get to that stage of deep connection, which I rarely do). I get bored too easily to stay interested if there isn't intellectual stimulation, so it never gets that far...

~Kate


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LostUndergrad9090
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15 Aug 2011, 9:08 pm

chrissyrun wrote:
LostUndergrad9090 wrote:
chrissyrun wrote:
LostUndergrad9090 wrote:
hopefully i will someday be problemless.


That's not possible and not healthy to think that way. A better goal would be to become better at handling the problems life will inevitably throw my way in a manner that causes the least pain to me and those around me.


How is that not healthy and not possible? I think I was there at like the age of 18.


You had to have some problems.....nobody has a carefree life, everyone has trials. Plus, if you think that way, when the trials do hit, they will be THAT much harder to cope with because you've set yourself up for the perfect life.


I feel like i can't argue this because i'm not really sure whats going on here but yeah serisously age 18 other than being very sensitive and overwhelmed by senses i don't think i had any problems. I was a very focused person was making decent money and yeah life was awesome. I'm trying to set my life up right now so if i do have future problems i can fix them and know how to cope with anything. its very draining to say the least. This three year hurdle challenged me a lot, so i can try to use this as a formula for a next time. I just need to remember that i have created it and can use it.