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14 Aug 2011, 7:19 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:

Fatal-Noogie wrote:

RightGalaxy wrote:

NOBODY is a loser. Life and love are chance things.

So is the hand you're dealt in poker or Mahjong, and those have losers.

EAT MY BUTTA.

Oh, thank you. I'll spread your butta' on my toast, and eat it with jam.

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nick007
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14 Aug 2011, 7:32 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

nick007 wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

BTW, a woman being "lonely" does not mean she is willing to love/have sex with whatever crawls out of the swamp. Even "lonely" people have standards, probably more so for females whose biology makes the consequences of sex much higher.

I didn't really have standards; I just wanted someone who wanted to be with me so I don't get why desperate women would have high standards sense me & other desperate guys here like ToadOfSteal didn't have much standards

Having standards is not the same thing as having "high standards.

In my experience standards can be very wrong. My ideal girl was someone who was dependent, immature, needy, clingy, had emotional issues & not very smart because I was kinda like that & I believed that someone who was like that would be more on the same level as me, more accepting, sympathetic, & supportive & that we could help each other out. Megz is the opposite of that & those strengths in her make those weaknesses better in me because I feel more secure & am inspired to work on things with myself. I am so very glad I didn't stand by my standards because she really is perfect for me. My point is that we should get to know people as individuals instead of crossing them off a list because they don't meet our standards.

RightGalaxy wrote:

nick007 wrote:

RightGalaxy wrote:

When a female belly aches about being lonely, guys jump at the chance of "getting laid by a desperato". They figure if she's that lonely, their chances of getting to the beef without spending a whole lot of cash is VERY possible. Women, on the other hand, figure that if a guy is SO lonely, he must be a loser. NOBODY is a loser. Life and love are chance things. Do you jump at the chance of going out with a girl who complains she's lonely?

I jumped at the chance of getting a date when I heard women talk about being lonely. It was NEVER about trying to to get laid for me. I'm a borderline asexual. I was desperate for love NOT sex & those desperate women would not even give me half a chance

What does borderline asexual mean?

Did you tell these women you were asexual?
Do you look feminine? It's a strong possibility that you may have been so nice that they figured it was too good to be true and they just ran off in fear.

It means I desired a relationship & not the sex but I may enjoy sex a lot after we're serious if my partner did but not having sex doesn't bother me either. Basically it means that my desire to have sex or not is kind of dependent on my partner's.
I have met some of those women on asexual dating sites. I don't look feminine at all. I do have certain disabilities & limitations that I was very open about because I believed in honesty so I think that would of balanced out the to good to be true part. & before anyone suggest that that those things were what was limiting me; I will say that lots have insisted that those things were not what was limiting me.

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XFilesGeek
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15 Aug 2011, 11:22 am

Quote:

The brain-chemistry retort was to address XFilesGeek, who suggested that nick007's motives are inappropriate because brain chemistry is involved. In reality, brain chemistry is involved in every motive of every person everywhere who ever lived.

I didn't say his feelings were "inappropriate." I didn't "suggest" it either.

Quote:

In my experience standards can be very wrong.

There are no such thing as "wrong standards." There is only what works for individuals.

I'm not going to have romantic inclinations towards a person who abuses me. Sorry, but it's a standard. I'm not going to have relations with a drug user or a drunk. Standards again. I'm not giving the time of day to a wine-soaked street bum with piss stains on his trousers. Not my cuppa. Sorry. "Loneliness" is better.

Quote:

My point is that we should get to know people as individuals instead of crossing them off a list because they don't meet our standards.

Yes. And when they don't meet our standards after we get to know them, we cross them off our list. Personally, I don't know too many lonely heterosexual men who will suddenly begin striking up romances with available gay men just to ease "loneliness." For as limiting as it may be, "must have vagina" is a standard.

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Who_Am_I
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15 Aug 2011, 5:35 pm

swbluto wrote:

Every time a female states something along the lines of "Woah is me, I can't find a boyfriend cuz I'm socially awkward" or whatever reason, there are multiple offers from guys but whenever a guy says the same thing, the girls just say "Cheer up", "You need a better attitude", etc. Does anyone else find this funny? :lol:

Is the "inequality" between the sexes in the dating arena any more obvious? I mean, yes, I know girls like to think they have the exact same problems as guys, so guys are just belly aching, but there really seems to be a difference here. Note, I'm not belly aching myself as I haven't exactly had problems with the ladies, I just thought it's funny how naive some people are in their seeming egalitarian beliefs.

Actually, what I've noticed is that when a guy says he can't get a girlfriend, he gets lots of "women are evil and shallow" sympathy, but when a girl says that she can't get a boyfriend, she gets people implying that she must be too fussy, crazy, or ugly- often from the same guys who have hissy fits over the suggestion that they lower their standards slightly.

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emilieTomorrow
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15 Aug 2011, 5:39 pm

I don't even know what I'm looking for in someone, not sure what was "wrong" with my ex-husband that I should avoid in the next one to make sure he doesn't leave me, so I can't complain about being alone.

Chronos
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17 Aug 2011, 6:00 am

nick007 wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

nick007 wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

As a lonely woman i don't even know where to begin with this comment. Why would i have standards?!?! Why wouldnt i?

I have enough self respect to know what i'm looking for in a man with whom i would want to build a relationship. Just getting involved with the first guy who shows an interest in me just goes against ever fibre of my being. I deserve to have someone i love and respect like other people somehow manage to find. Why am i less than those who can have what they want?

I want someone who respects me as an individual, not someone who just wants to be with me because i'm female.

I DID respect those women as individuals & I really believed that we would of fallen in love with each other if they would of given me a chance. I'm extremely lucky that Megz gave me that chance & I really am falling for her like I expected I would but she really is perfect for me to.... Anyways my point is that I simply do NOT get why me & other desperate guys think/thought & feel/felt one way when desperate women think & feel the opposite way. I would understand if it was just NT women but women in general

Think of it this way. Finding a man she can connect to in some deep spiritual way is her equivalent of sex.

Moog
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17 Aug 2011, 7:36 am

swbluto wrote:

This is not 'inequality', this is a reflection of natural differences in biological imperative between the sexes.

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hurtloam
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17 Aug 2011, 9:07 am

Chronos wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

nick007 wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

Think of it this way. Finding a man she can connect to in some deep spiritual way is her equivalent of sex.

I disagree, they are two different aspects of a realationship that I think need to go hand in hand for a relationship to work. Both are required. A woman wants to have sex with a man she loves and respects and connects with on an emotional and intellectual level.

Chronos
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17 Aug 2011, 3:33 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Chronos wrote:

nick007 wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

nick007 wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

Think of it this way. Finding a man she can connect to in some deep spiritual way is her equivalent of sex.

They are two different aspects but men put more emphasis on one while women put more emphasis on another...in general.

MountZion
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17 Aug 2011, 4:52 pm

swbluto wrote:

It's funny, but in an irrelevant sort of way. It's just how it is. However, I think men are just as choosy as women, only for different reasons. Men have their own preferences about what is attractive to them, and it is mostly visual. So in a sense, we are just as choosy, in that a significant amount of men (in my opinion, I have no stats to back this up lol) are very much stimulated in what a woman looks like. It is actually less so with women I have found.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2011, 5:57 pm

Sadly, most men are p**** slaves.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2011, 6:00 pm

Moog wrote:

swbluto wrote:

This is not 'inequality', this is a reflection of natural differences in biological imperative between the sexes.

That's true, men usually more likely to tolerate social awkwardness, neediness and desperation in the women that they would date, they are simple more likely to tolerate any form of weakness in them. Women, on the other hand , avoid those traits like the plague.

Chronos
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17 Aug 2011, 6:03 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Moog wrote:

swbluto wrote:

This is not 'inequality', this is a reflection of natural differences in biological imperative between the sexes.

I've found that many NT men have a strong aversion to many traits that women with AS have.
In fact women with As are frequently ignored completely by NT men with the occasional exception of predators.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2011, 6:08 pm

Chronos wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Moog wrote:

swbluto wrote:

This is not 'inequality', this is a reflection of natural differences in biological imperative between the sexes.

I am not talking about aspie women, just talking in general.

And most men here aren't NTs.

Chronos
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17 Aug 2011, 6:39 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Chronos wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Moog wrote:

swbluto wrote:

This is not 'inequality', this is a reflection of natural differences in biological imperative between the sexes.

I am not talking about aspie women, just talking in general.

And most men here aren't NTs.

I think we just have to conclude that we don't meet most NT standards. But can we really be upset with them for having some of the standards they do?

MountZion
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17 Aug 2011, 6:46 pm

Chronos wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Chronos wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Moog wrote:

swbluto wrote:

This is not 'inequality', this is a reflection of natural differences in biological imperative between the sexes.

I am not talking about aspie women, just talking in general.

And most men here aren't NTs.

I think we just have to conclude that we don't meet most NT standards. But can we really be upset with them for having some of the standards they do?

Not really IMO. People like what they like, for whatever reason.

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