Aspergers and Sexual Harassment

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My take on it is: the danger of sexual assault is real,
but that shouldn't deter women from trying to have fun and socialize.

There are lots of precautions women can take:
go with a group of friends you trust, who won't leave you behind (sadly, Aspies don't always have this option),
tell your roommates where you're going,
keep the number for a cab-company in your phone,
carry a flashlight and plan your routes so you don't walk thru dark areas,
know where the closet police station or call station is,
etc. etc.
At my previous college, the campus police had late night hourly escort vans to the dorms from certain checkpoints.
the college also offered free self-defense martial arts courses exclusively for women.

I resent being labeled a creep, but I respect that their misplaced fear comes from something else that is real.

Your logic confuses me. Leather jackets? Long hair? Steel toed boots? That just sounds like stuff a typical heavy metal fan/rocker would wear. Alot of people with Aspergers are drawn to heavy metal for its over-the-top imagery and feeling of empowerment when you listen to it, and alot of metal fans wear a certain "uniform" that sets them apart as metal fans. Sure, some can be creepy, some can be awkward, but I don't understand what theyre style of clothing has to do with anything.

Me, I have aspergers but I'm not really socially awkward at all. I'm in college and I pretty much dress like a metalhead everyday, and not one girl is creeped out by me. They don't even know I have aspergers. I'm just a dude who loves rock and roll, partying, and skateboarding.

Last edited by MetalAspie on 07 Sep 2011, 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is very offtopic. I am male and I get sexually assaulted (felt-up) every 3-4 weeks.

I have long hair and dress quite outlandishly. I am probably branded as a creep by women I know well, but I get assaulted by women half my age.

When larger men do it, it can be unsettling and threatening. In those cases I will make my excuses and leave.

I never see looking at me as any problem, I actually enjoy that, but when it comes to unwelcome assault I am actually scared although not much scares me.

i always thought girls liked guys with long hair and leather jackets, honestly. like if they're musicians or something...

I think aspies of both sexes may be a bit clueless as to how to act around the opposite sex especially if they're attracted to them. And some may be a bit too forward or to the point and may seem a bit creepy or not know when the other person is not interested. So it makes sense to mention it once.

BUT, it can also go the other way round and some aspies may be too passive and submissive and can get used and abused and walked all over. I was sexually harassed by the same person for years because I just accepted it.
I think the book/leaflet whatever should also include tips on how to be assertive and to communicate your own needs and wants.

Yeah that's a really bad move.. I've done the same. I've given people gifts.. not because I was desperate for friends, but simply because I like giving. I got labelled desperate and a creep for it in the past and since learned to be meaner and stingier to people.



Wrong. See my above post.



Seriously? A flashlight isn't going to stop anyone who would attack you. Unless you knock him out with it.



I agree. That was rather ill thought out by the OP. Creepy is a vibe. One metal head may not be creepy, another may be.

I am physically female, but in middle school I accidentally sexually harrassed someone. I think people are more scared of me because I'm mostly lesbian, and females assume that because I'm lesbian I'm AUTOMATICALLY attracted to them, even if they don't assume that straight males are automatically attracted to them. It's very frustrating.

In hindsight, though, I think that what I did was clearly sexual harrassment. I asked a girl to have sex with me even though I didn't want to have sex with her because I found it attractive when girls freaked out at me. I thought that since I didn't want to have sex with her it meant that it wasn't sexual harrassment, but apparently if people FEEL like it's sexual harrassment, it IS sexual harrasment, even if I don't mean to hurt their feelings. The girl told her dad about it, as well as a bunch of lies about evil things I had supposedly done. To make things worse, I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt.

This worries me because I'm starting college now and I'm afraid that I'll accidentally sexually harrass someone again because the sexual harrassment policy is very ambiguous and they're very strict about it. I'm hoping to get more information about the policy and examples of sexual harrassment from my counselor who works for the school. How am I supposed to know what makes someone Feel Like They're In A Threatening Environment?

As an amateur photographer (who's always thinking about light) I can think of lots of ways it can help. You could spot someone hiding in a dark place before you pass too close. If you carry a flashlight into a dark setting, you gain an optical advantage that an unwelcome observer can see where you are but not who you are, or how big, or whether you're armed (like trying to see the driver behind the headlights of a car at night). Worst case: suppose they charge at you in the dark. They'd be staring directly into your light (which their eyes haven't adjusted to), while you're seeing the incident light, so you'd see them plain-as-day while their retinas are getting fried, so they won't know which direction your elbow is coming from. Remember the end of Hitchcock's "Rear Window"?
All this is beside my point. I'm not a self-defense expert.

Last edited by Fatal-Noogie on 09 Sep 2011, 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have been grabed by women at school but it never bothered me the only time I get called a creep is when I lose my temper.

But im a good actor I act like I can read non social cues because im a pretty good actor most people do not belive me when I tell them that I have apserger syndrome because im good at acting like people who do not have autism reading their body language helps also plus I like to study those kind of things

my problem isnt that i come acrossed as creepy just scary(still attractive though)

im 6.3-4ish i hav a big head, long arms, blue eyes that ive been told can pierce someones soul
and im roughly 10-20 pounds overwieght with musle all under that

and women find me scary, now i hav learned to try and smile more and such

but when im around a 5foot skinny girl(my last date) i barely put my hands on her mostly cuz she had been abused and didnt want to offend her, but eventurly she got upset that i seemed not to want to get close to her

and its cuz im allways worried i was gona HURT her becuz of how big i am and how scary i can come acrossed as,
lol, women even sometimes jump when i move, i hav no idea what thats about and other than announcing every move i make to the world i hav no idea how fix it

People tell me I move jittery. I don't quite understand what gives them that impression.
Next time I'll tell them to readjust the frame-rate in their visual cortex until my motion appears smooth.

I have the opposite problem in the height department.
Some women don't notice me.
In a crowded party environment sometimes I'll be right next to a woman and she'll look down and flip out (especially if she's drunk).
I'm not trying to sneak up or creep them out, I just AM this short.
Maybe I should wear one of those samurai flags on my back with a giant arrow pointing down.


The thing I hate about smiling is if I forget to do it, people think I'm angsty or bitter, and therefore creepy.
If I do it too much, people think I'm sly or dubious, or that I'm hiding something from them, and therefore creepy.
I just can't win.

the funny thing is i can some how sneak up on women the same way, they look up and go "oh u scared me, i didnt see u there" not even any of my friends understand how people cant notice me

as for smiling i totaly get what ur saying, thing is people think im unhappy all the time but in truth im happy pretty much 98% of the time and people get the wrong impression cuz i forget im supposed to smile when im happy

Im threw the example out because I knew an aspie male who dressed like that and probably came off as a creep just from the first look. Yes some guys can pull if off, but not all. If you pull it off then fine. But if you think people are precieving you as a creep, might wanna ask some trusted friends or family to get an opinion. Appearances are easy to fix up, its just that most aspies might not wanna fix them up. First step in people thinking your a creep, is looking like one. Im just saying, if you dont look like a creep, theres a lesser chance people will think your 1.

LOL, that was hilarious

I feel like one of the reasons aspies are so prone to sexual harassment is because they can't make the distinction between flirting/joking around and sexual harassment. Aspies will watch neurotypical people to learn how to socialize, but most of the time they'll misinterpret what they do, and try to emulate them but it comes out wrong... Like they'll see guys putting their arms around girls or pulling the "kind of an as*hole" card to flirt with them, but in order to do that there needs to be that mutual attraction, and you need to be close enough with them as friends so that they know not to take it seriousley.

For example, theres a kid at my school with autism, and theres really cute blonde girl whos kind of like the "social butterfly" of the dorms. Most guys who shes close with will greet her by whistling or saying "Ow owww", but its ok because theres that unspoken mutual understanding. Of coarse, when he tries to emulate it, it comes off as sexual harassment. Like when he saw her walking back to her dorm in a towel and he said "Hey baby, how bout a preview?". Yeah. Not okay. Lol.

If a girl finds you attractive, she will be charmed no matter what you say.

If a girl finds you unattractive, she will be offended no matter what you say.

It isn't about Aspergers.