trappedinhell wrote:
Chronos wrote:
most people in big cities don't own their dwelling place
They still pay high rents. I live with my parents in order to save money. It is not the same.
Chronos wrote:
There are many otherwise successful people who would like to marry but cannot find someone they are compatible with
Do you mean they cannot find anyone who would accept them? I would accept them.
Do you mean they cannot accept other people? Then marriage must not be such a high priority.
If you would date anyone on the basis that they would date you then you must correlate being in a relationship with being happy, however when you are paired with just anyone then it's rarely the case that you will find happiness in that relationship because they tend to deteriorate rather quickly.
On the basis that what one is really looking for is happiness, a successful person who has relationship troubles cannot find happiness in a relationship any more than you can. Whether they can actually get someone to date them then becomes irrelevant, but of course there are successful people who have trouble getting a date even if they, like you, think they aren't being selective (you both actually are somewhat selective whether you realize it or not),
trappedinhell wrote:
Chronos wrote:
trappedinhell wrote:
Similarity is the most important factor.
Similar life philosophies, political views, and complimentary goals actually.
== similarity
Chronos wrote:
If your choices are a fork, or a knife, when you really need a spoon, it doesn't matter that you have two choices.
A starving person will adapt, if any need food badly enough.
As I said above, the relationship would ultimately fail if someone settles for someone they are not actually compatible with.
trappedinhell wrote:
Chronos wrote:
plenty of people like you exist. They post to this forum all of the time.
People who's top priority is to fix the world? That's wonderful! I would like to meet them. I would like to hear about their projects and see their time lines for how they will achieve our shared goal. How do they propose to eradicate war? How have they solved the problem of vested interests and human nature? How will they persuade doubters? I want to hear!
Sure, those people exist as well. However the people on here who are like you are like you in the sense that they are self pitying men who claim will date anyone but that no woman will date them because they don't have a job, or enough money, or enough status, don't have a good personality, etc...any one of about 10 different reasons, some valid, some not, most they don't feel they should have to change one way or another, and the all share in common the fact that they don't understand what relationships are really about and don't really realize what is inhibiting them in this area, though they think they do.
trappedinhell wrote:
Chronos wrote:
It's a bit difficult to be original with 7 billion people in the world.
Not as difficult as you might imagine. Take science for example. You only need to specialize for three or four years, then you are doing work that nobody has ever done before.
No sir, you are not original in your problems you have presented here and probably many other aspects of your life. I could state that on a theoretical basis as human variation is largely a matter of gaussian distribution, but there is no need to because the song you have just sung is the same song that's always sung in here...I can pull up multiple posts if you would like to see.
trappedinhell wrote:
As for whether other people are trying to fix the whole world, given the scale and complexity of the task, and its fundamentally informational nature, such a person would certainly have an online presence. I have searched for the last fifteen years. They do not exist.
It depends on what you consider the whole world. But realistically you are not going to accomplish your goals if you do not have something to leverage towards it. That is a discussion for a different forum though.
trappedinhell wrote:
Chronos wrote:
if [sense of humor] were the only factor, then you would not be single. But again, it's not. It's just one of many traits women find attractive in a man.
I agree. The number one factor is similarity, the second is status.
By your definition of status, and what you consider to be low status, it very well could be the second factor, but again, who knows. If some woman found X quality of you so attractive, then she might overlook some things.
trappedinhell wrote:
Chronos wrote:
If someone were to spend all of their money and life savings on such an endeavor, I imagine such a thing must be the pinnacle in life that brings them happiness and fulfillment.
There are two a fatal flaws in that assumption.
First, while this does fulfil the three higher human needs (esteem, self actualization and self transcendence) it undermines the three foundational human needs (physiological, safety and love/belonging). It is like saying a prisoner must be happy because he is well fed and is kept safe.
There is a thing called taking responsibility for ones choices. Most people who spend all of their money know they will be left with no money and they know the ramifications of that. Most people who commit crimes know they could go to jail for it.
You are hinging on unreasonable in your arguments and probably a step away from committing logical fallacies and arguments based on semantics. If you wish to continue cling to your negative perceptions which you are attempting to justify (and not doing a very good job of it) you should move your post to the Haven as that forum is for emotional venting and wallowing. This forum is for advice on relationships and the asker should be receptive to solutions to their problems, which you are not.
trappedinhell wrote:
Second, and more seriously, lacking the lower three puts the higher three in jeopardy. Without a reliable income and the ability to communicate, complex research cannot happen. Yet that same complex research means a person;'s career and friendships will suffer. Catch 22.
And your argument has completely fallen apart. As I said, I suggest to you the Haven.
When you are receptive to improving certain social aspects of your life, then we can talk.
17 Aug 2011, 10:25 am
