Why your life isn't over at 30

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I enjoyed reading this thread. Even if it is dated. I feel like sometimes like is over, yet I know I can not give up just yet. I just starting to get really exicted about what I want to do for my years ahead. I want to do amazing things and also start new things, and start new music. I want to get out with the public, and more with others (like clubs, bars or wherever, esp: at dj nites). Dancing and with a dj (playing) helps my spirit.
Anyhow, everytime i think its over , i just reread these posts. While I might have made mistakes or wrong choices , and so forth. I wont do it again, and i wont allow love to walk away again.

^^^
I'm glad I stuck around long enough to hear what early Elvis sounded like in stereo

Looking back, my teenage years sucked major ass. Except for 19 years old, that was probably my best year as a teenager. I felt more alive and happy at 19 and the first couple of months of 18 then I ever did in my life. 2014 was a good year for me. I was 19 for most of 2014. (my birthday is in the middle of december)

During most of my teen years, I never had a lot of friends, talking to girls was pretty much out of the question, I cared a lot about what others thought. I felt like I was the bottom of the totem pole because I was short and autistic. My self esteem was low much of the time was a teenager.


I remember my mid and late teen years, there would be nights i'd get meltdowns and super depressed just for no reason. I hated being so short and skinny because I knew I wasn't going to get any taller.



13 and 14 were absolutely terrible years. I went from a cute extroverted kid that girls liked to a short skinny introverted awkward 13 year old and my autistic symptoms began to show more as I got older because puberty does that s**t to you. I remember they put me in a room with other autistic kids my 8th grade year and that's when I started to realize what autism really was and I HATED IT. When you're a young teenager, you care A LOT about what others think of you. The reason why I hated autism so much was because I saw other autistic kids who were nerds and losers and bullied and I thought that since i'm autistic as well, this is how others must see me too. I would have done anything to get out of that special room, ANYTHING. That's why my 8th grade year, that was the highest grades I ever got in public school history because they told me if I made good grades and showed that I didn't need any help, I would be able to get out. But they lied to me and I hated them for it.

I'll never forget the last day of 8th grade. As soon as that final bell rang to go home for the summer, I was running across the halls throwing my papers shouting FREEDOM all the way out of the school. I hated my 8th grade year so much, it was as if I had gotten out of prison for the first time in years. \

9th grade was worse then 8th grade but that's because I was still recovering from the s**t that happened to me in 8th grade. I transferred to a different school (Thank goodness! I would have no been able to handle another year at that hell hole) I remember near the start of the year, I really liked these group of girls and tried to join their group and talk to them only for them to quickly avoid me and I never knew why. I also tried messaging girls on Facebook I liked only for them to go offline and block me. All of this DEVASTATED me and because of repeatedly being rejected in 9th grade, I never recovered the ability to talk to women. I became scared of women for the rest of my teen years and i'm still recovering from it but making progress.

If it wasn't for my sh***y 8th and 9th grade year, I would have never been scared of women and would have had a girlfriend much sooner. Now here I am 20 years old and only pretty recently been able to even have a conversation with a girl my age.



But yeah my teenage years all in all werne't the best years of my life.


My early 20s will probably suck ass because now I have a new problem. Living independently! Not to mention FINALLY getting a girlfriend. I'm so god damn lonely ='( Not to mention i'm still a short socially awkward immature autistic.

Those bastards! That wasn't nice!

I am sort of in an internal conflict about feeling like 'I am 26 and have done nothing with my life', and reminding myself I actually have progressed a lot in life. I mean I don't have a job, nor have I had one for any significant length of time, I don't have a car or drivers license, I live in my moms basement and I dropped out of college.

However I did graduate highschool have been struggling with my aspergers disorder(for many years with no idea as I wasn't diagnosed till I was like 21) as well as anxiety and depression since childhood, getting bullied/ostracized at school. I also developed PTSD after a shooting incident at my school which set me back in a lot of ways. I am on disability and with that came medicaid so I was able to get help/treatment for a lot of stuff and as of late I feel like I am starting to do a lot better with that stuff. I also have a boyfriend who things are going really well with.

So I guess I have done things and have been working on myself to become an even better me...but I am not where larger society seems to expect most 26 year olds to be, but with my setbacks I try not to be too hard on myself for that.

Yes, there is definately no good reason to compare ones own life with that of others. We all progress in our own ways. If we look back on our own lives we can see how far we've travelled and what hurdles we have overcome. Maybe no one else knows what effort those personal hurdles took to get over, but we do and we can be proud of what we have achieved, even if to other people it doesn't look like very much at all.

I know a couple of people who have only recently passed their driving test in their 30s. When they were younger they couldn't handle it, but now they are older they feel more confident about driving. It was the right time for them. We all find the right time for us for various milestones in life. There is no point pushing ourselves to compete with others. That would mean that we are ignoring what feels right for us and that will only bring discomfort.

I'm 35 and only just recently have I really been able to say "Screw it, I just going to try and enjoy myself!". It was only about 3 weeks ago that I went to my first rave and enjoyed just trying to dance awkwardly. So yes, people mature at different rates. The key is to find the things and people you like to do/be around.

back in the 70s there was this song by "Charlene" called "I've never been to me" and these past few years I've been doing my best to "be to me."

Oh geeze O_O

I find it rather consoling if I live in the present, rather than look ahead to the future with cynical suppositions.

I am 25 years old; I only lost my virginity last year; I still live my mother; I did not go to university; I have been unemployed for over 5 years and I do not have a friend in the world. But in the grand scheme of things my life really isn't that bad. At least I am financially responsible and thus relatively secure in monetary terms.

at least you got to lose your v-card when you were still young and vital.

I was really depressed when I turned 30. I signaled the end of youth for me. When I turned 31, I was glad to no longer be in my 20s. Being an adult is so much better. When a teenager and in your 20s you look outside yourself to see what you're supposed to be, who you're supposed to be. You judge yourself against what society dictates an adult is supposed to act like. For me, when I hit 30 I got to a point where I knew who I was, accepted my limitations, and had enough life experience to realize there is no one correct path through life. I am now free to be me and could care less if it fits with society's typical narrative. This is freedom that comes with age.

Also, my social skills are good enough now that I can function for the most part. I have friends now, more friends than I have ever had. I don't make as many major social mistakes as I did when I was younger.

Also women are maturing too--slowing down to my pace. A lot of women don't get serious about finding a mate until they are in their 30s.

I personally do not see 24 as a young age to lose one's virginity. In fact, I surmise that I was the last from my high school year group to lose my virginity. Thankfully, I escaped the humiliation of my peers by sequestering myself in my mother's house.

Incidentally, I found sex to be a rather contrived act of "intimacy" and "romance". From my cynical bastard perspective it is grossly overrated.

Life keeps going after 40 too. I just recently learned about my Asperger's, and now I'm trying not to look back at my life and think what I would have done differently had I known myself better earlier.

I know it shouldn't be about comparing yourself to other people but it's not because I really care what people think. It's what I think. I think I should have been further because being close to 30 and being where I am at is just pathetic to me. A lot of it has to do with I don't want to end up like my father and the more time passes the more I will be his daughter. I know I am not an ahole like him but I want to be as far removed from him as possible.

I know I have been trying so hard but that's not enough for me unless I am successful. I just wish someone had seen something years ago instead of just being put in directed math and regular therapy in combo with a community liaison in middle school because that obviously wasn't enough or I wouldn't be where I am. They basically helped me out in the way they assumed I would grow out of it since I had a terrible home life. I know I have a coach now but it's annoying that I'm just now working with her because I know I'm an easy target to be judged by employers. They would expect potential employees to at least have more than one PT job in high school that only lasted a few months.
I don't want to care what they think but if you're not one that can make your own business you kinda have to or you'll stay dependent.

You're right that I can see that I have overcome a lot. In fact there are times when I am just shocked I am even alive. I should have been dead years ago from just stress alone.
But that's the thing as you say no one else knows that so I might as well have had no hurdles at all. I may in a way be proud that I have survived but just barely. Being strong as I have been means nothing because I will just break again thinking about how I'm not where I want to be in my life. Since no one else knows my hurdles and I can't explain it to them I cannot use them to be successful. What good is overcoming them if I can't put them on a resume or say it in an interview?

lemme tell ya, 24 beats the snot out of 53. you were still young enough to perfectly function. when you get to be my age the hydraulics are dodgy at best.