How often do you see an "ugly" person

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i thought this would be a thread about beauty rather than a rant about fat people.

personally, i prefer curvier women. i don't find women with their bones sticking out too attractive. of course there is certainly a weight limit, i hate to say it, but i dont think that all women are attractive without fat.

first of all, i want to say attractiveness is subjective. what i find ugly, many others may love. and what many others find ugly, i may love.

to me, some women look better with more weight on them, and some look better skinny.

And being a "womanizer" is a proven and established sociopath trait.

I never said I was fond of them, in fact, I can't stand them.

thank goodness there are so many men who don't judge a woman's quality by some idealised standard of appearance and weight. openminded men who are primarily interested in a woman's character and personality are much more attractive to me than men who judge women in a shallow way.

beauty comes in many forms. there isn't anything inherently ugly about larger people... it's an arbitrary judgement, which is what several other people already mentioned. to be perfectly honest, i had more men after me when i was morbidly obese than when i was average or excessively thin (many years ago!! !). go figure.

I would point out that you probably were far more comfortable with your body image when you were morbidly obese than when you were average/thin but some members would probably call bs on that(even though it has been proven to work and most self help books on dating start on accepting yourself as you are).

absolutely, yes.

OP, IMO the reason you're not dating isn't because of the rate of obesity among American women - it's because of who you are. You're hyper-critical of these women, ascribing all kinds of negative behaviors/motivations to them, using derogatory terms to describe them, and generally projecting a lot of anger toward them. And why is that, exactly? Because you'd be able to get a date if only there were more women of "acceptable" weight for you to choose from? I'm not buying it. Stop putting your energy into demonizing these women - their body weight, image, size, eating patterns, physical activity levels, hormonal imbalances, eating disorders, etc. have nothing to do with you - so stop wasting your time worrying about it. You'd make a lot more progress toward establishing a relationship if you put all that energy into figuring out what you need to do to make yourself more attractive to the women you're attracted to. The problem is yours to solve - have at it.

I don't think I have ever seen anyone I thought was ugly. People just seem to range from regular to spectacular. Never ugly.
I know lots of ugly in the inside types, and then you kind of see them differently. But they still aren't physically ugly.

I rarely look at myself in the mirror any more. I used to be kinda pretty but then my Cushing's Disease went out of control and I gained 80 pounds because of the tumor in my head. Now I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. I never asked to be overweight. I never asked for any of this, but it is what it is. I'm not pretty on the outside, but I'd do anything for any of my friends to help them, so in a lot of ways I'm pretty on the inside. I wish more guys would give me a chance because if they did, they'd get to know a pretty decent person.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is the fear of spiders.
It is exactly the same mechanism that forces some if not most men and many women to judge everyone else on standards of beauty.
It is what makes most children jump and scream when they see spiders.

I must admit that my mating instinct in this area is extremely pronounced and it would be impossible for me to think seriously about dating someone that I am evolutionarily engineered to think is ugly, based on looks alone. It's somewhat arrogant to dismiss all of the people like me as being jerks and totally self absorbed. Bravo to you for being able to resist it, or not having strong instincts, whatever the case may be. Don't be so condescending about it please.

The largest instinctive attraction for me is face bone structure and skin quality, and finally physical fitness. Of course I will never fall all over someone who is rude or mean or judgmental, which pretty much weeds out everyone in my area. Pretty much everyone around me is ugly in one way or another. Most people who I have never gotten to know well lack the proper bone structure, the rest are outwardly inconsiderate and rude in public. I assume this is mostly a function of age rather than how people are, so I wait and watch.

My main point is, this is the same type of mechanism as claustrophobia, fear of spiders, and gag reflex.

if i have actually managed to overcome an evolutionarily engineered instinct, darn well better believe i'll be condescending.

but really, if you really think so many people around you are ugly, i can assure you it is not caused by any sort of instinct or everyone would have the same problem. we don't.

EDIT: standards of beauty in regards to body weight (which the OP was specifically discussing) change with the generations. these standards can't be driven by instinct if they are so labile. further, a person's own ideas of beauty change within a lifetime. it's true that people seem to want a healthy mate, but many of the physical characteristics represent "health" are changeable.

one interesting example is height. with better nutrition, people become taller, so it seems like a good benchmark for what should be attractive in BOTH sexes. however... it is not. OKCupid showed that shorter women got more messages than taller women. on average, more men prefer shorter women. blaming preferences on instinct is often not a valid conclusion.

and further... the reality of society is that most people will have sex or get married eventually even though they are not supermodels (and half of them would have to be "below average" looks wise). somehow, someone is overcoming "instinct" to have intimate relations with them even though they do not fit a stereotypical ideal or standard. ideal or standard. proof is in the pudding.

I don't see "ugly" people. I see people I am not attracted to, but never ugly people.

I have a broad taste when it comes to women, so I don't really discriminate when it comes to what I find attractive. However, I don't think I could date someone who I literally had zero physical attraction to, it would be quite hard (I'd probably give it a go though).

I've tried it, and it was absolutely useless. I used to beat myself up about it, too, but now I don't. I do wish my tastes (who I find physically attractive) were broader, though.

I hear you. I've been lucky enough to have met and known girls who ticked a LOT of boxed in my criteria though in terms of physical attractiveness. They're everywhere! I see no ugly people!!

+ 1

I think your looking for a women yes and how is that going to solve your problems ?

That's really hard. Does the extra weight make you feel physically unwell all the time? That's what it's like for me when I gain weight.