Question to the women in here

Post Reply New Topic

@MR20: If you do what you've always done, you get what you've always gotten. You don't seem to like what you've always gotten.

Your choices are:

1. Languish.
2. Adapt.

I'm sorry. There is no third option where you get to languish doing what you've always done but somehow the outcomes change.

I'm not blaming women. So you're basically saying I should kill myself right? Since I have no hope at dating and making friends. What's the use of feeling depressed, bitter, despair, loneliness and miserable for most of the time nowadays when I could just let go.

Adapt? How? There's no way society will accept a pathetic, stupid, and ret*d loser like me. It's best to just stay inside to avoid having my feeling hurt, like I've done for the past years.

I wouldnt date the person you describe, but not because he is ugly (my husband is not precisely handsome, you know?), his lack of social skills (when I met my husband I stopped having social life), he spaces out (my husband spaces out, too), or stares at random objects without knowing (my husband does that, as well), but because we wouldnt anything to talk about. I do not watch much anime (except for Miyazaki movies if that counts), do not play video games, do not watch much TV or surf the web that much, either. And I feel in love with my husband talking about religion, literature, art, etc. So the lack of general knowledge would be the turn-off for me.

And by the way, my husband lived with his parents and did not have a job when we met.

No, I asked you if you would date someone who thought so lowly of you.

Formal education doesn't guarantee someone will have anything going for them. At the very least, they will have the fact they were able to cope with the course work.

It's usually the person's personality that's the problem, not the ranking of educational status.

For example. I know an extremely intelligent man. He does not have a ph.d. But he is smarter than any I know. He's also extremely interesting. I've met ph.d's who are completely boring.

I came, I read, I left without a comment

you have so many assumptions here i don't even know how to sort it out.

what i CAN tell you is that i would not date someone who thought they were completely worthless, and who treated themselves like dirt. you think that you are not worthwhile and you treat yourself accordingly. i really could not handle someone who really believes that they are that horrible. you must have many positive points, but i can't see them in your wall of self-hate.

I don't get what you're trying to say. If they thought that low of me, then why would they even be interested in a date with me?

You take a piece of your routine and you lay it down in a manner that corrects the problem.

I come back to hygiene because it is the easiest correction to make and the one that will, frankly, yield the most bang for the least effort. Clipping fingernails and cutting hair and shaving and showering and doing laundry all require a schedule. I say this from personal experience. If a schedule is what it takes, you make a schedule.

It took me a while to get into a routine of going out and interacting with humanity every day. I had a stretch after college where I was unemployed (more accurately, unemployable) and living at home and no one was pushing me to do much. I remember the one day I was talking to a neighbor and he told me, "Hell, I haven't seen you in so long I figured you moved out." I realized that I had to make a concerted effort to drag my ass out of the house every day, whether I liked it or not, even if I was dying of pneumonia.

When you meet people, you have to work on making eye contact and not being avoidant. Once you get a feel for that, work on nodding toward them, acknowledging their presence. Then you work on saying hello to everyone who returns the acknowledgment. Then you work on responding to small talk. Good practice can be had trying to say something funny to cashiers, waitresses, bartenders, etc. when they ask you how you're doing. And you just keep building and building layers of social interaction until you get to the point that you can say hello to anyone and BS a bit in any situation.

I treat it like a game. Well, anymore I treat like really interesting research. I quite enjoy watching humanity. I quite enjoy seeing how they respond to each other and to me.

As for interests, I'm sorry, but you have no right to expect humanity to take an interest in you if you don't take an interest in them. You're expecting them to come to you at no social or emotional cost to yourself. It doesn't work that way.

What price are you willing to pay to not feel lonely?

For me, once I got in the habit of socializing, I found the cost of emotional discomfort is paid back several fold by the simple value of what humanity offers. It's nice to have neighbors watch out for your house when you're gone. It's nice to have people say hello to you when you're waiting in line. But, you have to meet them on their terms.

• no one should consider suicide as an alternative to being single. You don't need a woman to live. If you love video games and anime, submerge yourself in those things.

• you're obviously perfectly intelligent, despite all of your protestations to the contrary. This makes me suspicious about how bad looking you really are, since you've already proven that you're prone to exaggeration regarding your poor qualities.

• even if you are ugly, there is no shortage of ugly women out there. adjust your expections.

•SHOWER.


MrEguy summed it up for you very politely. There's another way of saying it: S**t or get off the pot.

Last edited by Fullofstars on 07 Oct 2011, 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nothing is guaranteed in life, but the person that has a HS diploma/college degree has a higher chance of making it than someone like me.

Why would somebody date you if they thought lowly of you? There is no good reason. But there might be a bad reason. Somebody who was willing to date you even though they disliked you probably would have some evil plan in store for you. So that wouldn't be a good idea.

You continuosly insist that you are ugly, uneducated and poor. Trying to talk you out of that has proved unsuccesful so I won't try. Instead I'll say that you should perhaps try to date a woman who is also ugly, uneducated and poor. Probably several such women live within walking distance to you right now.

But here's the bigger issue? If such a woman wanted to date you, what would you do on the date? You can't invite her over to your house to listen to you complain about how she'll never want to date you again after spending time with you. So what exactly would you do? If you can't think up a serious answer to this question, then what is the point of wanting a girlfriend?

brilliant post.

i had to say your username out loud twice before i could tell what it says lol

What about an alternative to this:




It's not just women. I don't have any friends whatsoever, male or female. I don't really have any future worth anything. What's the use to keep living my life feeling the way I feel.

Not a female but it all depends on how you are looking at things.[/quote]

I used to see(still do at times)myself as a basket case. Im the one that doesnt know anyone, the few people that approach me usually hear odd responses(just so you have an idea a cute girl asked me about our class schedule yesterday, after replying I asked her do I know you? and to make things better after several minutes of awkward silence I asked her name which probably made me look like the biggest creep ever). Having said that every now and then I get lucky, I try to display a very strong attitude even though Im a social reject.


The other day I was explaining some things about practice classes to a couple of classmates(yes class schedules is the main reason some people approach me nowadays, sue me) and somehow I ended up having a classmate following me around from one class to another. Apparently he is in a situation thats even worse and he would like to be seen around me to improve his social status(class related issues have given me a big network of acquaintances that could be seen as a social status by an outsider).