Giving up on the idea of marriage/kids, geting too old?

Post Reply New Topic

This is great! I think you can totally set your own hours with something like this, unless you're working directly for a hospital or nursing home or something. Even then I bet you could work in a consulting mode, like designing menu plans for certain populations based on their needs and medical issues, and that could *totally* be on your own time/at home!

Maybe don't advertise that you're looking exclusively to be a stay-at-home/work-at-home dad, but slowly introduce the idea that it wouldn't be outside the realm of things you'd consider. It makes you look open-minded, I think.

I also recommend getting as much practical experience as you can while you're still in school, via internships and the like. That way you have a not-empty resumé to present to future, post-school employment opportunities.

I know our type, we get set in rigid, narrow assumptions and it's awful for us because if any population really, really needs to think outside the box (to maximize potential), it's us.

Your brain is wired to financially provide for your male and your child?

Nice, can I be your house-husband?

No, thanks! I already did that, twice, and I think I'm just about done.

Back to my previous statement, yes I do think it is necessary and relevant because I don't want him thinking that I'm interested in him merely because I'm posting information on here.

I try to make it pretty clear to some guys early on that I am not interested in them since I often tend to make them think I am (even when I am often not). Just a habit I guess.

As far as being a home-dad it certainly is an option. I know of several women who are the providers, albeit they are all in the medical field--surgeons and a OB/GYN.

Typically most women don't see this as an option (the man being the provider). I wanted to go into surgery for the LONGEST because I absolutely consider it to be my #1 most-loved subject in medicine (especially the very demanding--and dare I say masculine--field of heart-surgery) but after seeing a bit of the inside lives of what it takes to really be a woman in a field like this and have your husband stay home and raise the children I decided as much as I love it it is DEFINITELY NOT what I want for my life!

Needless to say, do not advertise that you are planning/hoping to stay home. This will undoubtedly make a woman want to run! If anything I would just say that you are very "flexible" and that your job type will make you "flexible" enough to be able to work in a normal setting and/or from home. Even if a woman works for the bread and butter deep down (the majority) want to feel "provided for." For the longest I didn't really feel like this, but as I get older and more shall we say maternal, I truly can't imagine working and providing for my children while my husband stayed home with them. Especially in those early years when they are so darned cute and learn something new everyday--like walking, crawling, talking, etc.

It is certainly possible for you to stay home, but a better question that you should ask yourself is why you really want to? Even the men who stay home that I know of didn't do it initially or "advertise" this; they simply did it once their wives had children because economically it just made more sense. In other words, they didn't make more than their wives (in fact siginificantly less).

If you don't see yourself as being able to be a provider then you certainly should not consider a family. I'm staying this from a female persepctive and looking at for the benefit of the wife and kids. Truth is, pregnancy is hard, and women are more susceptible to getting ill. Not just during pregnancy but after. And who'se to say that once that precious baby is born that she won't change her mind and want to stay home? Then what are you going to do?

No judgment passed here but I hope you can take these words of insight and apply them as you see fit. Just trying to help Big Brother, lol.

A large part of the desire to do this is due to my father spending almost his entire day at work, and not getting enough time to spend with him. He was so focused on being a provider (and living affordably by living in a house 2 hours away from his job in DC) that I hardly knew my dad as a kid. Hell, I had no idea what exactly it was he did for work until just a few years ago (I always knew where he worked, but not what his job title was.)

Doing a pre-rejection based on the very unreasonable assumption that he might become interested in you , the last thing the OP needs is to be reminded by rejections and failures with the opposite sex...

Damn... so you believe yourself you're THAT AMAZINGLY ATTRACTIVE that any guy who read your very few texts on this forum would instantly fall for your feet and start begging you by pms for little love from you. So just based on that, you're "pre-rejecting" the thread starter.


You know what, you're not my type either.

Tee-hee, you have been just pre-rejected.

I dont agree with this. Some women have strong careers and earn great salaries and are only happy to go back to work. Some women are bored stiff at home with children. My mother went back to work when I was a baby, she did shift work and my dad was a primary school teacher, he looked after me for a lot of my childhood as he was finished work at 3.30pm.

I had a friend who sold her beauty therapy business when she had a baby, she couldnt run the business and look after a baby at the same time, it just wasnt feasible.

So my advice is, OP, perhaps work on the career you want to work on. You are not as old as you think anyway, you still have some time. My cousin is having her first baby and she is 39 and her husband is 42.

It's quite OK. I didn't take any offense nor feel any rejection. I only get twisted up/around when someone IS definitely interested, and then suddenly becomes NOT interested.