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Aspies should not date.

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Joe90
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08 Nov 2011, 11:45 am

This is another one of those threads what damages my self-esteem even more.


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SoftlyStepping
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08 Nov 2011, 6:36 pm

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Instead try meeting people in group situations. There are groups and meet-ups for whatever topics interest you. Join them and make some new friends. FRIENDS!


I've got a pulse. Of course they like me.

Seriously though, the group friendzone is a low yield environment for finding a partner.

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That's how you should start relationships. The dating in the classic sense; going out with a complete stranger, one-on-one, with a mutual expectation of a relationship; that is not going to work. I imagine just finding someone to go on ONE date is hard enough.


The first date is indeed awkward if you don't know them fairly well already. Ergo, the internet. Email, phone, texting, more phone, eventually a date. By that time you're almost a couple anyway.



Grisha
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08 Nov 2011, 6:48 pm

SoftlyStepping wrote:
The first date is indeed awkward if you don't know them fairly well already. Ergo, the internet. Email, phone, texting, more phone, eventually a date. By that time you're almost a couple anyway.


The first date can be a bit more than "awkward" - "dealbreaker" is more accurate, especially if your date is NT and you're not "out" as an Aspie.

I'm relying on the approach you outlined, it would be nice to know if this has worked for anyone, especially with an NT.



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08 Nov 2011, 7:41 pm

Grisha wrote:
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Right on Grisha!



shrox
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09 Nov 2011, 12:59 pm

Joe90 wrote:
This is another one of those threads what damages my self-esteem even more.


Why would you let that damage you?



bruinsy33
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04 Jan 2012, 12:39 am

Dilbert wrote:
I agree with the topic title, but disagree with your post.

Aspies should not date. Aspies are terrible at it due to social awkwardness. There's an almost zero chance of catching someone's attention in an uncomfortable 30-60 minute date.

Instead try meeting people in group situations. There are groups and meet-ups for whatever topics interest you. Join them and make some new friends. FRIENDS!

Eventually an equally awkward person will pop out of the crowd and slowly become something more than a friend.

That's how you should start relationships. The dating in the classic sense; going out with a complete stranger, one-on-one, with a mutual expectation of a relationship; that is not going to work. I imagine just finding someone to go on ONE date is hard enough.

Join clubs and groups. Make friends. Go do nerdy things together. ;)
I agree about going out with a perfect stranger would be very hard for an Aspie but being with people in groups can also be very daunting for many Aspies.People with AS often don't make good first impressions so I do agree with your post about perhaps focusing on people who you already know .