SoftlyStepping wrote:
Chemistry is possible between any man and woman. It's biological.
I've got loads of experience to the contrary.
SoftlyStepping wrote:
And skill. Skill helps.
That misses a heck of a lot. People who end up on the outside permanently tend to fall into maybe four categories that I've noticed:
1) Low genetic ceiling on performance, ie. dorks who literally don't have it in them to be anything else.
2) Too intelligent - too far up the bell curve and get bored with anyone they meet.
3) To rare a personality or identity, tough to relate to.
4) (mostly for guys) Been too attractive too long, it went to their heads, and consequently got spoiled - can't settle on anyone.
I'm mostly 3 with maybe a dash of 2 and some 1 in the autonomic nervous senses. These are things as well that you don't and can't change yourself on, you can try smashing yourself down into something you aren't but even if you were about climbing upward, being something better than you are, and just do-or-die making it happen, you find out the hard way that no - your genes have a preference, you're pushing on an elastic wall, you'll run yourself ragged trying to stay outside your center and you'll start losing functioning on other areas as you do that. Then, the minute you relax, you slide right back to square one.
I've learned the hard way: there's no one else for me to be and there's nowhere else for my life to be right now. That said I'll let other people beat themselves over the heads with hypotheticals - I know I spent entirely too much of my life doing that and I'm done with it.