Night Clubs

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The art of being social begins with forcing yourself to do it. At some point you have decide what kind of life you want. And then you pay the price to get it.

The world is a big loud stupid place full of dangerous s**t. At some point you have to sally forth and meet it head-on.

I love clubs. Not for meeting people though as it's usually too loud for that but just to go out with my friends to drink and dance. ^.^

So I'm anxiously waiting outside near the night club I decided to go to, which opens in less than 40 minutes. I look forward to attending the salsa class, that is if I can even get in the door.

So I went and it was a lot of fun. Granted, I only stayed for the class, but it was only a preliminary observation and I would have to go to these things a bunch of times before I start really meeting people and getting the real feeling of the night club. So I got there super early, like right when it just opened at 9 PM. I went up to pay the girl in the caged booth, and she said "Oh we don't collect floor fees until 10 PM". So I went in, acting like a dork because I was alone and there was really no one there yet except for the employees. We started the class. My first impression, other than "ugh, there's more guys here than girls?", was that it was pretty easy. We were just working on the footwork, and it wasn't the crazy salsa footwork like we do in ZUMBA. I caught on pretty quick, but then came the real challenge - partner dancing. This is where things got really complicated. First of all, I have done NO partner dancing since high school homecoming, which was over nine years ago. Second, it did seem awkward dancing with women I didn't even know (but I quickly got over that), and third the dancing was complex. To put it bluntly, I kept f-ing up, but it's okay seeing that it's a learning process and I know I have to go to a bunch of these classes so I can do salsa effortlessly and not make a fool out of myself when I get out there for real. It was nice to dance with a bunch of lovely ladies though.

I found out I was parked in the wrong place when I went out to my car, but lucky for me my car wasn't cited nor towed. Next time I plan to park someplace else. I never paid the floor fee either, even though I left at 10:30ish. No one said anything. I don't know if I was supposed to pay upon exiting or someone was supposed to come around to collect the fee...

Nightclubs can be fun. If you're the typical vigorous, robust, hearty red blooded male that is.

If you're not, stay away from them in no uncertain terms. If you're not the typical vigorous, robust, hearty red blooded male, all you are going to get is the middle finger from girls and inappropriate advances (either physical or verbal) from guys i.e. the SAME sex, to take the piss. That's what you are going to get, AT BEST.

Certainly it's impossible for people like me to have anything other than an upsetting experience at nightclubs. I think you would understand this if you saw me. Asperger's doesn't mean you can't do well in nightclubs, however, as red blooded virility doesn't cut across the Aspie/NT spectrum.

Been to a few. Hated it each time.

Where do you guys live? I've been to almost all the local nightclubs here and not one has any of the following: perverts, drug dealers, drug addicts, prostitutes, other guys taking the piss or starting a fight unneccessarily. There's a light local police force on patrol with competent bouncers and little fuss.

What do you expect from a nightclub? . It seems to me, many aspies are going with a 'worst case scenario' attitude, experience some awkward situations then use that as a basis for writing every club off as unfriendly.

Personally, I never use anyone else's opinions on a nightclub until I've been there myself. You don't know if the reviewers have been paid, under drink/drugs, time of visit, past/current employee or under new management.

The idea of going to a club for classes and staying on is a brilliant feeder program. You'll also build a good rep with the staff which is always a bonus.

Yeah, I've felt that after about midnight, other people will assume & accuse you - even if you're stone sober - that you're drunk or stoned, because of your awkwardness. It's both absolutely hiliarious at the time and frustrating as trying to get serious with authority or friends is impossible, but other people will naturally relax, enjoy your company & become natural buddies in about five minutes.

This is absolutely my favourite time as making friends in this setting is like what School should've been. You can double your social circle if you took every opportunity at just chilling and chatting with random people but this only works at pubs or clubs with outside seating & smoking areas.

You have to look at Nightclubs as a business if you're going to enjoy them. They sell a dancefloor with loud music, strobing lights, drinks & a security system to protect you, others and the business. You goto a Nightclub if you want to dance - in the modern sense - or to pull.

So tonight I went to the same nightclub again. This time I knew what to expect after going there. I decided to parallel park this time around, and it was a good thing I did because had I parked where I thought I was supposed to park, sure enough I would have been towed. They were charging five bucks for each vehicle to park in certain spaces. I thought those were free spaces. I did get off easy, lucky for me again. Maybe it is good to get there early so I won't have to parallel park. Then again, I could always play it safe and park downtown. I think I'm thinking too much into it.

I got there and did have to pay the $10 floor fee this time. I guess it is different for Saturdays since it's more popular. There were two hot girls running the booth and were asking me if I wanted to wear a hat. They were going to put friggin' reindeer ears on me, and I was like "f**k that s**t". I just simply asked "do you have Santa hats?" just so I wouldn't seem like a sore loser. They told me a Christmas party was going on tonight.

When I got in, that's when s**t really started hitting the fan. I was like "omg, holy s**t, omg, there are many GORGEOUS women in this room and guys are talking to them!" I didn't know what to think. I was like "What do I do? I feel so out of place!" Anxiety and self-conscienceness got the best of me simply because I wasn't ready for this. It was like I was jumping straight into the fire without realizing it. The idea of just going up to talk to someone, especially a very attractive woman, was just totally out of question. Hell, I didn't even have the nerve to talk to OTHER GUYS. It was horrible how much pressure I felt, like I HAD to talk to someone or else everyone would think I was a total loser. I decided to go down to the bar to try and blend in with the crowd so I wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb, and I bought a Smithwicks on draft and gulped it down as I observed everyone around the room. I was so outside of my comfort zone. I mean, the only place I've seen a setting like this was on TV; not in person! So many thoughts were running through my head. Actually, the only thoughts that were really running through my head was "Wow...look at all these hot chicks. Doesn't look like there are any I can really approach. Did the dude who was standing next to me totally approach that hot chick, or did he know her already? Am I standing right? How does my body language look? 9:30, why is it taking so long for you to get here?! I just want to go do some salsa!" I of course was texting my friend Josh as this was happening, but of course he was of no support.

Well, looking back that part ended quickly, but it did certainly feel like an eternity while I was in the moment. Salsa class began, and this time there was a whole different crowd of hot yet crazy girls there. However, most had boyfriends, but that didn't matter because I got to dance with them anyways. As long as I show I'm having fun, that's what matters. I act kind of goofy and smile and laugh a lot when I'm doing the dancing moves, especially when I f**k up. I at least did a tad bit better today than I have in the past. The second half of the class is complicated. We do all these spinning moves and crazy dynamics, and I don't know what the f**k I'm doing half the time. It's not until like the fourth or fifth repetition that I start to really get it. Still, it's a lot of fun and I'm using this opportunity to get over these anxieties. I don't know how long it's going to take until I feel comfortable enough to go up and meet women on my own there, but if I stick to it and take things a little at a time, I know I will get there. I believe I am doing the right thing.

I also faced my first rejection tonight. Yes, I have to log that, even though it's questionable whether it counts or not. I wasn't even playing the game. We had to pair up on our own at first, found this chick by the wall and asked her if she would like to pair up, but she wanted to pair up with her girl friend instead. Everyone saw that too. Oh well. I kind of got back at her for unintentionally messing up the rotation and eventually leaving her without a partner. She left the room in a huff.

When I left the room, I suddenly felt more confident. Part of the reason was because there were less people in the main area. I had to wonder where everyone went to. I think there was something going on in another room that I missed. Something about a missletoe. I don't think I'm ready for that yet given the circumstances. Maybe I should have stayed to see what was going on, but there will be other nights.

So after tonight's experience, will I go to this nightclub ever again? And the answer is absolutely! Just like with anything, it's a skill. Not just dancing, but meeting and attracting beautiful women. I have great resources, but what I've been lacking was the experience; just getting out there to the battlefield where I'm fighting against my insecurity and anxieties. The best thing for me to do is to look back and see how far I have come. Up to as late as last week, I didn't want to even SET FOOT in a night club - not alone anyways. I felt I had to score the first night I went and there would be all this pressure on me to do so. It was a miracle that I did find this club with the salsa class as it's the best resource for me right now. If I keep it up, I'm going to look back on this day six months to a year from now and laugh at how much of a "dork" I was. I can't wait until that day comes! It's like how Edmond Dantes learns all these new essential skills during the 13-14 years he was in prison.