Bring back arranged marriages?

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I don't really see what that would help......I think it would be pretty akward to be expected to marry someone I don't really know and may or may not actually get along with and would cause a lot of stress.

I prefer to choose who I have relationships with.

I lack the maturity and the ability to make informed decisions in my life. I would like to have had my parents to arrange dates and relationships for me. Grass is always greener on the other side.

If you truly feel this way, then do you think you have the ability to maintain a relationship? Meeting people may seem like the hardest part but it's not. I'm divorced. Relationships take work and no one else can manage that for you.

Bit I get where you're coming from. When I was 14/15 I felt the same way.

This is not possible for your parents to do if your family doesn't live in a society where parental arrangement is common (as the poster Dhawal does). Parents who live in a society where individual choice and dating are the norm can attempt to arrange social situations where their child will encounter some suitable person, but that's pretty much it. In societies where individual choice and dating are the norm, there is no pool of women waiting for a parental match that they can pick from. If they don't have a very wide social circle themselves, there may not even be a pool of single daughters of friends that they can invite to your house for social events.

Your parents' ability to do this depends on their access to a pool of single women who think this is a good idea. They have no such access because that's not the society you live in.

Even if your parents were able to arrange a blind date for you, it would go nowhere if you can't make informed decisions about your life. The decision to continue dating after they make the initial introduction is not one that they are able to make. Even in Dhawal's post about his own succesful arranged marriage, it seems like the parents only brought the two prospective partners together. After that, it was up to Dhawal and his now-wife. So even having parents set things up does not absolve you of adult decision making.

Coming from a society where they are still happening, I can assure you that arranged marriages aren't easier. The girl's parents can be picker than any girl you would meet (they would consider looks, status, religion, region , community....and most importantly: money).

A girl who's in love with you might overlook some of your shortcomings, parents won't.

Parents would often see their daughter as the best thing in the world (even if she's the worst creature ever crawled on this planet) and therefore they believe she deserves the best of the best men ever.

If you're rich then arranged marriage would be a piece of cake for you, if not then good luck, you would need it a lot.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 29 Nov 2011, 11:22 am, edited 4 times in total.

...As a student of comedy, especially my favorite, the farce, I have to say that I think this thread and OP's posts in it are a joke.

This strikes me as a creative twist on the same ole "How dare women be free to reject me" sentiment.

Well played, Sir, well played!

Well if you say so......but what garantee do you have that your parents will make more mature, informed decisions than you would?

I seriously believe I am a 12 year old boy trapped inside a man's body and I need a parent to make the important decisions for me. Living in a divided individualist society has resulted in my life being wasted away and incapable of reaching my full potential.

I have not matured emotionally since the age of 12. It was around the age of 12 I suffered a lot of trauma that has had a destating impact upon my own life. I so wish I could go back in time and change things and maybe my life would be a lot better.

So what my physical appearance and age may say 20 something. I am too immature to make my own major life impacting decisions. Employment/career and romance/dating are two complex fields that require a lot of critical thinking in regards to make the right decision. I lack the maturity and the ability to make my own important decisions in life. I have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old boy.

Then logically, you don't have the maturity to entertain the idea of marriage. Arranged or not, marriage requires maturity.

i never thought of that. i have the emotional age of 12 and i have a low IQ.

One can only hope...

Then you are not ready to be a husband. Husbands, regardless of their IQ, need to have an adult perspective.

It may be possible to gain that from being in a relationship. I relate to you Dark_Lord. I'm very immature compared to others my age in some ways because of my AS issues, I have physical disabilities that cause me to be very dependent & I was bullied a lot as a kid. I got in my 1s relationship when I was 20 & I suffered a sever psychotic depression after things fell apart between us(very long story) I regressed in some ways to help deal. I got in my 2nd relationship(which will be my last) a few months ago with the perfect girl from here on WP & it's helping me be more mature & grow in lots of ways. I'm very dependent party because I lack confidence in myself & am afraid of making decisions on my own due to a history of me making things worse or screwing up by making the wrong decisions. Having her in my life helps give me the support & makes me feel more secure so I'm not as afraid of screwing things up because I know she's there for me. I talk to her about everything before I make any decisions & being able to do that helps me analyze things so I can make better decisions even when she doesn't really give me any input. She's also a major motivation for me to try being more independent & responsible so I can be more attractive to her, less of a burden to her & help her more.

in a normal marriage == her approval

In an arranged marriage scenario == her approval + her parent's approval + her siblings' approval + her clan's approval ...

I don't understand why some male members here wish for arranged marriage thinking it would be easier for them.

Because they don't know what is like to be rejected by girl + her parents + her siblings + her clan?