How do I get boys?
I know that this was started, and the things said were almost a year ago. Fuzzy Chicken is a NT. That is more than likely why is stereotyping, because he doesn't know squat. He obviously is a very immature NT, or the experts that say we tend to be 7 years behind in maturity need a reality check. So more than likely he is poking fun. I may be an Aspie that does everything on the symptom list, but I'm not so socially ret*d to not figure out that he was being a little jerk. Chicken boy get some frigging therapy, because you need it for what ever your major malfunction is. I know everyone old news, but I had to. I got to annoyed to continue through it all.
To attract men:
1. Strip naked, cover yourself in steak and roll around in A1 sauce.
2. Take your pick.
Warning: This method of attraction may result in unintended canine interest. You may wish to carry a cattleprod. This may also be of use in deterring overly insistent human males.
1. Is 'doing the nasty/shagging' absolutely necessary? I think it's disgusting and will not do it for ANYTHING. No. Never do anything you don't want to do! That is not a good relationship - if you go against your key values. However, do let them know this at some point soon into the relationship, so if that is very important to them, they know. That is only fair.
2. How do you find boys when you're fat and/or ugly? You find ones who are not shallow. They are everywhere.
3. How many boys are willing to stay at home or work part time so as to reassure me of the successfulness of my career? Some would jump at this chance. But you need to find someone who is not into traditional roles. Or someone who has the type of job that can be done at home! How to find such a person? Just ask them about it.
4. Do autistic folks usually get married? This, I have no answer for - I don't have any idea one way or the other on this.
Yes.
I suspect you've been turned off by the de-sexualized Western culture of pop-stars / Cosmo / My Super Sweet Sixteen. If you want to know what sexuality is and what it's about then it's time to start reading Shakespeare.
The same way most homeless / insane men get dates: they don't.
Only the broken ones. There are plenty of them, but you probably aren't attracted to them.
1. Strip naked, cover yourself in steak and roll around in A1 sauce.
2. Take your pick.
Warning: This method of attraction may result in unintended canine interest. You may wish to carry a cattleprod. This may also be of use in deterring overly insistent human males.
Stop doing the jihad against fuzzychicken, he's right. Most Autistics find great difficulty in maintaining long friendships, after all autistics have social skills deficit and so it's so normal to have difficulty in making/maintaining friendships, I am one for example and many others too... just take a look on the Haven. Besides, he used the world 'lucky' and didn't say it's impossible , some autistics can be lucky. He doesn't sound troll to me.
http://autism.about.com/b/2008/05/18/wh ... riends.htm
Daewoodrow
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 182
Location: Canterbury, England
There is no simple way to change from being an outcast to a man/woman-magnet. The world of dating is dominated and driven by shallowness and petty indulgence.
Finding an equal minded individual who wants nothing more than to be around you is difficult, and takes patience. They may come along tomorrow, they may come along next year. They may never show up.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life jumping from relationship to relationship, deluding yourself into believing you love them because you feel lonely and love sick?
Forget that. Focus on other things, and if a potential partner comes along, see what you can do then.
As for being overweight, there is no quick fix to make men see you as attractive when you're overweight. I'm not a particularly shallow guy, and I rarely feel attracted to a woman just because I like how she looks. I guess it helps that i'm almost turned on by logical women. That being said, being very overweight/obese is the one aspect of a woman I can never see past. It's the one area where I consider myself to be shallow. You'll always meet men who, like me, can't feel attracted to overweight women. But you said you're young, and there is still time to lose the weight whilse your body is still metabolising rapidly for your pubescent development. I know this because I was slightly overweight as a teenager, but I exercised and by the end of college and a year into university, i'm normal weight. if you want to know how, all I did was fast walk the 2.5 miles to college and back every day.
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Umquam sentio nex?
However, there are certain things that I am worried about.
1. Is 'doing the nasty/shagging' absolutely necessary? I think it's disgusting and will not do it for ANYTHING.
2. How do you find boys when you're fat and/or ugly?
3. How many boys are willing to stay at home or work part time so as to reassure me of the successfulness of my career?
4. Do autistic folks usually get married?
1. No. Sex is not necessary, unless you want to have a child of your own. I do not recommend that until your late twenties.
2. Cultivate an artistic talent - something other than writing rambling emo poetry.
3. How much cash are you willing to pay them? More cash == More willingness.
4. "Usually"? I don't know.
Eithne Patricia Ní Bhraonáin, who was born on May 17, 1961, never married. She lives in her own small castle ("Manderly Castle") in Dublin, Ireland, and is rated as one of the five wealthiest people in Ireland. She made her fortune by composing and recording music. She is very popular and successful, without ever having any (known) boyfriends.
You might know her as "Enya". <-- Link.
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http://autism.about.com/b/2008/05/18/wh ... riends.htm
Yes, autistics have problems with social skills / poor social intuition, and obviously if you have problems socialising you're going to have more trouble making and keeping friends, dating, marrying, etc than people with good social skills, so statistically I'm sure autistics are less likely to date, marry, have friends, etc than NTs.
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I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)
El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)
I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).
I'd say it cuts your dating pool essentially down to zero. You're focusing exclusively on your preferences and interests. AS or not, you will have to learn to talk about things other than your own interests and allow people to talk about their interests if you want to have any success in dating or at life generally.
While Asperger's syndrome may play a role in some people thinking of you as having low cognitive abilities, I have no doubt your attitude plays a more significant role in why guys do not seem to be interested in you much. There's nothing wrong with having a positive opinion of yourself or being a little loud in the right context, but you practically seem to want to ward guys off by the attitude you project. Independence is a good thing, but sometimes you do have to make a few adjustments to the circumstances at the moment. I don't think your musical preference has anything to do with your dating situation.
Boys are children. When you're older, perhaps you'll wish to date men. If you're still in junior high or high school, yes, guys will still be pretty immature; but don't be so vain as to think you're any better than they are.
Now to address the questions you raised in this thread:
When you're a litttle older, your opinion on this may change. Until then, do not feel compelled to do something you do not wish to do merely to attract and keep a boyfriend.
Young guys can be pretty shallow and immature sometimes. Of course, there are exceptions. If you don't have "outer beauty," inner beauty (a good personality, intelligence, passion for one's interests, etc.) can give you an advantage. Also, what kind of guys are you attracted to? Maybe you're attracted to the wrong kind of male.
I assure you no self-respecting man is going to forego his life for you. A mature relationship involves a give-and-take and a mutual understanding between the two partners. Both people are better off in a mature relationship; one is not merely supporting the other.
Normally, I'd take a statement like that to be some kind of ironic joke; but, given the tone of previous posts of yours, I'd say your conception of the world is somewhat unrealistic. Instead of dreaming of your cushy executive job, think about what it will take to get you there. Instead of thinking of a "boy" as someone to listen to you as you rant on about your pet interests, think of men as equals, who may or may not share this-or-that interest of yours.
Certainly Asperger's syndrome has affected your perception, but that makes a greater challenge for you to conquer. Take a look at the reasons why you want a boyfriend. Are you only trying to fulfill some social expectation, or do you really want romantic companionship? Is your identity as radical based in the desire to find problems in society and workable ways to improve them, or is it a simplistic way to assert your individuality and nothing more?
Excellent post. TaliDaRadical, what you demand is both unrealistic and unreasonable.
_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)
El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)
I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).
I'd say it cuts your dating pool essentially down to zero. You're focusing exclusively on your preferences and interests. AS or not, you will have to learn to talk about things other than your own interests and allow people to talk about their interests if you want to have any success in dating or at life generally.
While Asperger's syndrome may play a role in some people thinking of you as having low cognitive abilities, I have no doubt your attitude plays a more significant role in why guys do not seem to be interested in you much. There's nothing wrong with having a positive opinion of yourself or being a little loud in the right context, but you practically seem to want to ward guys off by the attitude you project. Independence is a good thing, but sometimes you do have to make a few adjustments to the circumstances at the moment. I don't think your musical preference has anything to do with your dating situation.
Boys are children. When you're older, perhaps you'll wish to date men. If you're still in junior high or high school, yes, guys will still be pretty immature; but don't be so vain as to think you're any better than they are.
Now to address the questions you raised in this thread:
When you're a litttle older, your opinion on this may change. Until then, do not feel compelled to do something you do not wish to do merely to attract and keep a boyfriend.
Young guys can be pretty shallow and immature sometimes. Of course, there are exceptions. If you don't have "outer beauty," inner beauty (a good personality, intelligence, passion for one's interests, etc.) can give you an advantage. Also, what kind of guys are you attracted to? Maybe you're attracted to the wrong kind of male.
I assure you no self-respecting man is going to forego his life for you. A mature relationship involves a give-and-take and a mutual understanding between the two partners. Both people are better off in a mature relationship; one is not merely supporting the other.
Normally, I'd take a statement like that to be some kind of ironic joke; but, given the tone of previous posts of yours, I'd say your conception of the world is somewhat unrealistic. Instead of dreaming of your cushy executive job, think about what it will take to get you there. Instead of thinking of a "boy" as someone to listen to you as you rant on about your pet interests, think of men as equals, who may or may not share this-or-that interest of yours.
Certainly Asperger's syndrome has affected your perception, but that makes a greater challenge for you to conquer. Take a look at the reasons why you want a boyfriend. Are you only trying to fulfill some social expectation, or do you really want romantic companionship? Is your identity as radical based in the desire to find problems in society and workable ways to improve them, or is it a simplistic way to assert your individuality and nothing more?
Excellent post. TaliDaRadical, what you demand is both unrealistic and unreasonable.
And three years old. This thread was bumped for whatever reason.
But I must say, NeantHumain did have a good response.
_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."
Three years!