06 Dec 2011, 9:03 am
Frieslander wrote:
mv wrote:
Keeno wrote:
The subject of their hair colour is something women are never offended by when I raise the subject in internet chats.
Like I said, it's mostly a holdover from a bygone era. Just thought you would like some historical perspective.
with apologies to hyperlexian, I didn't get this explanation from mv. How is it a holdover from a bygone era?
Okay, I'm bad with words, but here goes:
Frieslander, nowadays you can see people (men and women) walking around with pink hair, turquoise hair, purple hair. These are obviously dyes. Back in the day, men would never color their hair and women would only dye their hair in order to "improve" their appearance (their natural hair color was boring or drab or didn't go with their skin tone/features) or to cover gray (because a nonattractive, nonyoung lady was less valuable in society's eyes). Because these were artificial enhancements to one's appearance, the use of hair dyes (or cosmetics or foundation garments or whatever) was considered "cheap", since they were used to get attention above and beyond what you were due as a human being. Once use of these things became everyday occurrences (middle class ladies could do it without being considered whores), it was okay but still not something you noticed or commented on. It's all part of the social contract, these things we do to get a leg up in the dating game or in our social world, that are not subsequently discussed.
I live in an East Coast city so I see a lot of artificial body modification. Some people invite you to talk about it, others do not. It's a different world from the 1940's through the 1970's. I'm assuming since you live in a conservative Midwest environment that perhaps your ladyfriend was "old school" in whether she'd want to be asked about her hair color. In other words, you can say, "your hair looks wonderful" but you cannot say, "did you change your hair color?" or "are you a natural blonde?"
06 Dec 2011, 1:23 pm
Frieslander wrote:
Almost true, my subject header is. Months ago she told me before that she thought we lived too far apart. But I had saved her and saw her new photos, and I ask what her natural hair color was (it was blonde many months ago, and brunette recently). BTW, we're an 88% match, 80% frend, 17% enemy, and were 117 miles apart.
her: Hey
me: Hello
her: I jsut wanted to say hello and thta I hope you'll find a nice girl soon
me: thanks. You seem pretty nice.
her: but this distance isnt gonnawork for us
me: yeah, I know what you mean. I know.
her: but good luck though!
me: thanks for sayin Hi
her:
me: I know about the distance. Was just curious abou thte hair
her: ha
me: Oh, well.
her: its dirty blonde but i darken it for work
her: my students dont take me as seriously when im blonde
me: that's funny. LOL
her: alright
her:
her: back to work for me
her: g'night!
me: you too.
her:
Sucks that she's nice enough to explain this to me but doesn't want a somewhat long distance relationship, not even a long friendship or have a desire to be email friends.
I can only presume that you and she had previous conversations,.. from what I read there,,,, nice, is an overstatement, I met a girl who is seriously nice on an internet game, and sometimes she gets very x rated, and shes smart intelligent, funny and caring, a pity she's on the other side of the world and maybe i'll never meeet her,,, thats what a nice girl is,,,, I won't paste any of what she's said to me here (or anywhere), because it would be a breach of her confidence, I have never told her that I'm an aspie,, I have no actual relationship physically, maybe because the right person is on the opposite side of the globe........................... I have to look nearer to home, but at least since I've had contact with her, I have something nice happening,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but I'm still lonely, I like time on my own, but this is ridiculous.
her: Hey
me: Hello
her: I jsut wanted to say hello and thta I hope you'll find a nice girl soon
me: thanks. You seem pretty nice.
her: but this distance isnt gonnawork for us
me: yeah, I know what you mean. I know.
her: but good luck though!
me: thanks for sayin Hi
her:
me: I know about the distance. Was just curious abou thte hair
her: ha
me: Oh, well.
her: its dirty blonde but i darken it for work
her: my students dont take me as seriously when im blonde
me: that's funny. LOL
her: alright
her:
her: back to work for me
her: g'night!
me: you too.
her:
Sucks that she's nice enough to explain this to me but doesn't want a somewhat long distance relationship, not even a long friendship or have a desire to be email friends.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,123
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
06 Dec 2011, 2:43 pm
mv wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
mv wrote:
Keeno wrote:
The subject of their hair colour is something women are never offended by when I raise the subject in internet chats.
Like I said, it's mostly a holdover from a bygone era. Just thought you would like some historical perspective.
with apologies to hyperlexian, I didn't get this explanation from mv. How is it a holdover from a bygone era?
Okay, I'm bad with words, but here goes:
Frieslander, nowadays you can see people (men and women) walking around with pink hair, turquoise hair, purple hair. These are obviously dyes. Back in the day, men would never color their hair and women would only dye their hair in order to "improve" their appearance (their natural hair color was boring or drab or didn't go with their skin tone/features) or to cover gray (because a nonattractive, nonyoung lady was less valuable in society's eyes). Because these were artificial enhancements to one's appearance, the use of hair dyes (or cosmetics or foundation garments or whatever) was considered "cheap", since they were used to get attention above and beyond what you were due as a human being. Once use of these things became everyday occurrences (middle class ladies could do it without being considered whores), it was okay but still not something you noticed or commented on. It's all part of the social contract, these things we do to get a leg up in the dating game or in our social world, that are not subsequently discussed.
I live in an East Coast city so I see a lot of artificial body modification. Some people invite you to talk about it, others do not. It's a different world from the 1940's through the 1970's. I'm assuming since you live in a conservative Midwest environment that perhaps your ladyfriend was "old school" in whether she'd want to be asked about her hair color. In other words, you can say, "your hair looks wonderful" but you cannot say, "did you change your hair color?" or "are you a natural blonde?"
Yea, never ask a pinked-hair girl "are you a natural pink?".
Sirius
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
Location: Fresno, CA
17 Dec 2011, 7:21 pm
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