Guys who don't get a second date.. would you send this?

Post Reply New Topic

If I were the person receiving this email, I would be in a bit of a quandary about whether to reply or not. Replying, even to reject him and tell him why, could encourage him to continue emailing as then he is receiving attention even though it's negative. Ignoring him could also encourage him to send more emails, though, or even to make personal contact.

I think I would reply very briefly saying only that I did not want to see him again, and that I did not want him to contact me again, by email or any other means. Then I'd change my email address.

The last time I laid the cards on the table when I didn't want to date a guy who was coming onto me I got a barrage of abusive threats for 6 months. I can certainly see why people try to shake them off without having to do that.

the guy has a hard head. if someone doesn't get back to you after several of your attempts, you should get the message and leave them alone. example: my best friend from school started to be too busy to talk to me whenever i called. i took the hint and stopped calling. i have no idea what i did wrong and that is completely okay and the way the world works.

I would never send such a letter.

The type of letter I might send (and I'm not saying that I actually would), might go something like:

Dear ________,

I had a great time with you the other evening - Thank you. I hope we can do it again.

Best Wishes,

Fnord

I've been there, done that, but not to the same extent as this guy! !

Although I've settled down now with a wife and daughter, dating as an Aspie was really, really rough. Getting the silent rejection after the first date was the norm, and led me to virtually believe that's as far as I'd ever get - it took me a lot of counselling, insight, net research, and advice from friends to get where I am today. Plus a little practice.

You might think what I'm about to say sounds kind of awful, but back in the spring of 2004 I did a little social experiment - I went out on a date with this girl and I thought it went so-so, I can honestly say I didn't "sense" any keen interest from her, so about 3 days later I sent her a note telling her in an honest, thoughtful way that I thought she was a nice person but would prefer not to go further, we didn't really click. She emailed me back basically saying that I must have "some sort of problem" because it's common sense that when you don't click with someone, you don't tell them, you just don't contact them anymore.

Ah, "common sense". My one big weakness.