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This was close to the analogy I used. I would say, "It's like we're in a race but I'm still at the starting line while other people are so far ahead I can't even see them anymore."

I don't know why you're the way you are. Or why any of us are. Just born failures really....

I don't think there really is any use to living. I just try to minimize the pain and maximize the pleasure. Usually people recommend buckling down and applying yourself, but that has made me worse in the past, because I got frustrated and kept failing.

Hmmm... I don't mean to steal your limelight, but your posts have made me start thinking about my own life again. I have a strong innate ambition to be something I'm not, and little prospect of succeeding. I don't enjoy much in life, and feel little attachment to existence. Even writing that though, my misery isn't too deep, nor is my desire to kill myself overwhelming. I just have to thank the medication I'm on!


Reminds me of another saying I had, "No one likes being around me, including myself - but I have to spend 24 hours a day with me!"

I gotta say even though I feel sorry for you, it is kind of nice to see someone that mirrors myself so closely, especially where I was a few years ago. People treated me so hostilely, I really felt like a leper. I want you to feel better, I think you should try medication, but if you never do and always complain on this forum I won't resent you in the slightest.

Edit: Oh and bathing... Here's a link to a guide http://www.misanthropytoday.com/how-to- ... e-for-men/

Yeah, I guess you are right:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -1960.html

Anyway, 1/5 of the population is an expressive number, even more if you consider how they group 34 year old's with you. You are not as alone as you think.

As for bathing, follow the tutorial provided by DetestableInsect. You will be fine. After you are all cleaned up, start looking for a job. Really. I cannot stress it enough. Getting a job did wonders for my self esteem, even though it was not a great job. Start small and you will learn useful skills and even get some friends along the way.

i think your good looking but i'm a guy. There are things you can do to make yourself more appealing to potential partners but i don't see it as healthy to do them unless it is for yourself too. Good luck dude, i'm sure there are many many woman who would be interested in you it is just a case of finding them

You can't see how "slow" someone is online. As for education, the only way to tell is through someone's writing style, and you pass that one easily.

Honestly, I think you're more scared to try or maybe you freeze under pressure, or maybe you just lack verbal skills (and you're not the only person with this problem).



But you don't need "most females". Most males think I'm weird AND unattractive. It did wonders against my self-esteem and confidence, but I was always ale to find the guys who liked me, even if I was rejected by most of them. You always say you're not a type of a guy who wants to be a womanizer or who wants to sleep around, so you don't really need to be attractive to many girls.

And I truly feel that way.

As for my culture, I live in Eastern Europe and most of the people never met a black person in their life. So your success (or lack thereof) would depend on factors that go beyond you as a person (your nationality, race, etc. <- I suspect some girls would like to do things you don't want to do before marriage. Some would want you because you're an American, others would reject you because of it, etc.)



You see, this is what I mean. It's the pressure. You need to get rid of it, as least a little. You don't have to be a clown around people to make them interested in what you have to say.

I mean, maybe you don't see it, but many people visit your threads and offer you their advice. It means you've managed to make us interested just with your whining (however, it's true that the same whining is what made many people ignore you. That, and the fact you insult people who mean you well and want to talk to you).

Look around WP: there are many interesting threads, so why don't you post your comments? Forget about the pressure to be interesting, forget about the pressure of not embarrassing yourself. I mean, seriously, we've heard a lot of stuff from you and I doubt anybody would think you're slow or stupid if you comment on something instead of opening new threads about how slow and stupid you are.



You don't have to have a deep knowledge of a subject to talk about it. Do you really think people have a deep knowledge of everything? You give people way too much credit.

lol It's all about meds with you huh. I might consider them, although I need find another doctor to prescribe meds to me. (the last doc wanted to put me in a home for a while before he can put me on them, needless to say I dropped him)

Still don't know how much help it'll be though.

You are comparing yourself to a high standard and not accepting yourself for who you are, you are magnifying your failures and faults and because of it, you are ignoring your strengths and that's why you have nothing to build on. I even have friends who don't even drive and yet they have attractive girlfriends, do you know why? Self belief. There are even women on this forum that have stated you're a attractive guy and that you are capable of intelligent, thoughtful conversations, you're the only one who doesn't seem to believe it, instead you blame yourself, take on a self defeatist attitude and use it as an excuse to not try.

He is comparing himself to a high standard, a standard not many can meet. But isn't that what life is about? Competition?

Also, I may be wrong, but have any forum members here actually offered to be his friend or try dating him? Actions speak louder than words and all that.


Yeah...I mean, I really feel like the only reason I'm not laying on the floor weeping right now is because of medication. It didn't fix me, but it did make my emotions less intensely negative. One thing though, I had to try many different prescriptions and dosages to get decent results. I can't think of any other way to help you, or myself, so that will probably always be my advice. Well suicide is an alternative also, but that's awfully scary.

Here's one way to think of it: why does being in a relationship or having success feel good - or rather what is the cause of pleasure? It's chemicals, at least primarily. These drugs can change the chemicals in your brain so that you can feel almost as contented being a failure as you would being a success. That's why people drink alcohol or shoot heroin or any of that stuff! Anti-depressants are a softer, more long-time cure. Kind of in between cocaine and actually finding psychological gratification.

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So basically, medication makes you feel like your situation is better than it actually is. It feels at though the meds are actually solving your problems when, in reality, the meds probably cause more problems for you in the long run. (like the hard-drugs you described)

Like I said, I wouldn't mind taking them, (if doctor will prescribe) I just don't know how much actual help they would be long term.

Yeah, basically my medication has just numbed me a bit. I have had more success in my endeavors than when I was extremely depressed, merely because I'm not so drained all the time. But I'm still the same person, and still rather incompetent.

I think medication is a long term solution. I'm probably going to be on drugs for the rest of my life. I can't go back to the way I was.

Also remember that value judgments are subjective. Most people accomplish very little and feel pretty good anyway. Some accomplish alot in life and never feel like it's enough.

You complain about your inability to succeed at your goals. But what if you weren't so bothered by that anymore? Your desire to succeed is just as innate as your inability to achieve those desires. So something has to change in this torturous paradox. Either you need to actually get what you want, or just stop caring so much. Which is easier, and more possible?

I mean really, what have you got to lose?

I'm more than likely going to be homeless after my grandma dies. (she pays most of the bills and keep me and my sister fed) Since my sister has Schizophrenia, she's probably going to be locked up in a hospital since I won't be able to take care of her. (I can barely take care of myself)

I'll going to be alone most likely for the rest of myself. I won't have any friends, I won't date, get married, have children. I won't be able to visit different cities/states/countries. I will miss out on everything. I am a poor pathetic bum that has a really bleak future.

I'm tearing up now. I don't really think meds are going to get me to stop thinking about this stuff.

MR20, you really need to stop setting yourself to a high standard and start making realistic goals for yourself. You always complain about not being able to drive or that you will never be able to live independently and you compare yourself to people who are ahead of you in term of development and maturity.

Set short term realistic goals for yourself, you already have good grammar, an understanding of presentation and money management. You need to focus on the simple things like grooming, being organized and cooking basic meals, after you have done that, you can focus on things like social skills, driving and home management. Stop trying to run before you can walk.

You'd really benefit from an Independent living skills course, you need to inquire and find out if there is one in your area.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElPsqGlBGlc&feature=related[/youtube]

If you get on enough drugs, you won't be able to think about anything.

I really recommend trying medication. It's better living through chemistry!

I'm in the same horrifying situation as you.

If my father did not support me with his high income then I would already have nothing. That is because I am completely dependent on my father for income but I will never be able to have any money of my own because my physical situation has left me so that it is impossible for me to work.

So I'm too sick and weak to work, I will never be able to drive a car, I will never be able to have the girl of my dreams. I will never have a girlfriend or a family or children, just like you.

In other words, my life completely sucks and maybe even more so than yours and I'm completely dependent on my father for a living.

Go to the psychotropics my dear friends! So many of us are unable to do anything with our lives, but thanks to modern medicine we can keep from dipping into the very bottom of misery.

I enjoy little and hate much. I have had one ambition from my childhood to today, at which I have failed perpetually. But thanks to my beloved anti-depressants I can keep myself in a constant state of "meh".

I think its funny that he is still trying to make him being ugly a fact. Like we cant have our own opinion. I don`t get why he still asks for our opinion since he knows it already!

By the way i think you`re ugly.