Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP

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This feels like games to me - not enjoying playing them with his emotions - or worse!! !

I just want to call him and reiterate what I said in my last email - the 'brief one' that I( wrote...

Do not over-react to a drunken, drug-educed incident by making it worse through doing something truly devastating to yourself and by extension to those around you.

I just need a break to collect myself and WILL eventually get back to you.


DAMNIT - Why didn't I ask him for a response to to it?! !...I should have added a question at the end so I can at least get a response back, so I can know he is okay. Wow - I soooo want to call - this is difficult - thank you all for this support....as strange as this feels - somehow getting through this current crisis feels like all will be right with the world if this crisis can be handled and averted. All I want to do is wrap my arms around him, comfort him, talk to him and make everything okay until 'whatever this is' can be diverted.

This is horrible...losin it myself a little now - I am worried, I want to do the right thing here... feel so sad that he is hurting right now...

I'm feeling like I should re-send the (above) email in a text message to him - as he always replies to those and ask him to respond to the text. Plain and simple.

Approval???

Ahhhhh....this is ripping me apart right now, folks...

This is nuts!! !...I am CHOOSING to allow (forgive me!! !) strangers on a message board to instruct me on how to handle making sure the man I care about is okay!! WOWZERS! I think I'm losing myself over here...I am torn and going against my own instincts and seeking help from people I don't even know...and yet - hanging on your every word and trusting that is the best course of action to take right now.

Sorry all - just scared right now, crying, reeling and hurting for him and this whole situation - perhaps even still naturally reeling still from my New Years Eve experience...

I sending the email as a text and asking for a responce - I have to!! !

This is "HARD!! !

OP, it's not that I don't believe your account - I'm trying to point out that his version of the events that took place between you two is stunningly different. I don't know what that means....is he in denial? Is he just manipulating you? Or is he disconnected from reality? If he's not taking medication he should be taking, then I'm worried that he's not completed connected to reality.

I don't know if you've realized this, but there is a troubling element of escalation taking place. He's gone from verbal abuse (you mentioned name-calling early on in your relationship), to serious physical violence against you. And that physical violence could have gone much further - God knows you're lucky nothing else happened to you wandering around injured, in shock, in nothing but your pajamas on New Year's Eve. And the end result is that within the exchange of a few emails, you're now in the position of telling him how worthy of love he is. What's wrong with this picture?

I hope you have enough self-esteem to realize the kind of danger this situation represents to you, and that you take the necessary steps to protect yourself. I also hope you consider the idea that this man likely has co-morbid conditions that may be impossible to cope with. Please read Melody Beattie's book - you need to fully understand the dynamics of the situation you're in.

Yep, he's being extremely manipulative with that letter. Don't be fooled by the "I'm sorry" parts. Do what the others here have said and let the professionals handle this.

Am talking to him now on the phone

I have talked to him and am trusting in the man that I care about - along with our re-pour with one another - I can not excuse my experience or panic here on this site tonight and I value everything that I wrote and was said here tonight.

We may have a strange dynamic with one another - but it seems to be one that we both believe in and apparently is one that may work for us.

There are unexplainable feelings there that are distinct and genuine to us.

The aspie/NT aspect needs some more work - but, we have overcome so much already that I know in my heart that we will persevere through some more - despite the odds.

We share a crazy dynamic and turns out all he needed to hear was my voice. (I felt a rush of goose bumbs over my entire body - from head to toe, followed by astrong tars

He felt so awful for hurting me with the physical abuse the other night that he couldn't live with himself and wanted to seriously harm himself afterwards once he realized that he had hurt the person that he loved - and so unintentionally. It pretty near killed him...'so to speak'.

Now, I am not blind or needy to see that this behaviour is completely scary beyond words...

We have discussed this and will be discussing it further - as this is also unacceptable behaviour.

turns out- he hasn't slept since, no word of meds taking or not - during this time either - (although I didn't ask as yet).

I can't thank you all enough for your support here tonight and I do value the advice given here. It's truly a strange experience and he is coming by to face it head on...there is something here that is not at all abuse - but quite real and loving.

I will explain tomorrow after all this is clearer and less emotionally driven.

In the meantime - all is safe and okay in my world.

I can't thank you all enough for your support, advice and encouragement here last night. I learned, I felt supported and it was a huge comfort to me, so thank you - each and every one of you!

Now that the work day is over - and everything has had a bit of time to settle...he is seeking to speak to me and explain and talk to me this evening.

I'll see how this discussion goes and thank you all again.

There is some work here yet to be done.

thanks for the update and i am glad you found some comfort here.

also the book "women who love too much" by susan forward. that book changed my life. i went from being engaged to a physical abuser to being married to the sweetest guy on earth. well, there was time in between and a lot of frog-kissing.

many times a guy will apoplogize and threaten suicide just to get you back. don't give in. take the space you need. your friend needs professional help. if he doesn't get it, or if he gets it and still assaults you again, run like hell the other way and don't look back.

You came to the right place. These people are wonderful. They saved my sanity - it's not a good holiday for NT/Aspie romance it seems.

Im marking this thread for my information as well.

I also agree with the other posters. That letter seemed very manipulative to me, if you dont want to call the police call a crisis center! With all of these influences its time to call in the professionals. At least you will get the space you both need to calm down and adjust, without having to worry.

To the OP, has it occurred to you your BF might take offense at you posting his email I assume without his knowledge or permission on this website and his story or your story? Just wondering....

I agree with all the posters who said read up on co dependency and take care of your self, he has been violent with you and that is unacceptable.

Good luck.