What about polyamory

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then we need to start a "children of a lesser god" club

Mayhap we should.

yeah, swingers have long had their own clubs, so us stationary types should have OUR own clubs as well!

What would we do? Play Scrabble?

Actually... that sounds like a LOT of fun

and your girlfriend might have another boyfriend and your wife's boyfriend might have another girlfriend, and your wife's boyfriend's other girlfriend might have another bf/gf.....

One gets STD and you all die.

There's certainly an evolutionary advantage for monogamy, hence why humans have evolved monogamous tendencies.

This is another one of those cases of concept vs practice for me.

In concept, I have nothing against it. But in practice, I doubt I'd be capable of such a thing. And while I think I'd be cool with my bisexual wife having a girlfriend, no way would I stand for her being involved with another guy.

All that said, if some gal approached me and confessed an interest, and my wife was for it, I'd likely be too flattered not to give it a go if I could.

my daughter just read Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexualityby Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá, and it apparently has some useful information about polygamy and polyamoury:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_at_Dawn

i had an open relationship with a couple of partners in the past. we didn't operate under the expected dynamics of the formal "poly" culture, so we didn't ever date/have sex with people who considered themselves poly (they rejected us as we violated some of the unwritten rules. we were seen as unethical ).

in my personal experience there was always some jealousy involved and a steep learning curve. a shift in mindset appears to be required because our society does not value polyamoury even though some aspects seem instinctive (is anyone monogamous in their fantasies? the porn industry proves otherwise. and people cheat quite often).

i don't know if i would ever have an open relationship again as it would depend on my boyfriend's feelings too, and the dynamics of our connection. bt i definitely don't hold up monogamy as some sort of ideal situation that all people should work towards.

Reading body languages is not necessary to attract others.

Personally, my relationship came from us being friends, and then us realizing that only calling it friends wasn't accurate anymore. That's the only way I'd expect to end up in any relationship. It was at all points very very explicit, not reading social cues at all. In my case there's also the fact that he's also likely on the spectrum. His now secondary-ish person (its weird) is also autistic. That one started similarly too, friends who thought it was more accurate to use the word relationship.

I don't actually know about AS/NT relationships, only Autistic/Autistic ones. This means that reading social cues has never been relevant.



Poly isn't. Poly is about loving people and about relationships with multiple people, not about sex with multiple people. Open relationships, swingers, and all that exist and are other reasonable alternatives, but not all poly relationships are open.

If you are only having sex with people, and not loving them it is not a polyamorous relationship. The point in the relationships are not sex.


Also, it is relevant to point out, different poly people can be very different in how they would or do act on multiple relationships. Personally, if either my boyfriend or I have a second relationship, then the two partners necessarily will know each others and will be pushed towards friendship.

This is something that's actually rather good for me, because if he has a second relationship that means I get another friend without having to try so hard for it. Automatic friendships is good

My bf identifies himself as poly--I do not. I've always told him that as long as I came first he could have relationships with anyone he wanted. He has a few friends with benefits, and this does not bother me.

I don't think poly can apply to me because I'm not even positive I love my boyfriend...I assume I do because he's the only person I know that doesn't drive me crazy or exhaust me, but I'm still not sure on the subject. I know that I like having him around, and I would be distressed if he left, but love? I just don't know.

I would like to sleep with other people because I get bored in bed, but I'm not socially capable of finding new partners easily. I've only done it once since the bf and I have been dating and it did not end well.

have you tried online dating? that's what i did. as soon as you use the word "sex" on your profile the men essentially come in droves. i told them straight up i was not interested in dating and i didn't even want to meet for coffee first (though i did get to know them online for an extended period of months and did a bit of a background check before i'd meet up. i also made sure that people knew where i was and who i was with).

i kinda wanted to stay friends with them but it never really worked out that way. the friendships were too much based on sex. but that's another problem entirely.

then what exactly is required to attract others then, [if one is not as a greek statue or a big wheel]? how does one know if the other person wants to get to know one better unless they say it out loud?

i guess i am not even at the point of being able to make friends with anybody. it's just as well.

And yet most of you deny that......

well, forget it.

I'm saying that what in fact, said very explicitly first out loud, then him poking me a lot on IM, then on IM.

I'm saying that all of these statements were in fact as explicit as you're saying is necessary. It just happens that this still doesn't stop people from being able to have multiple relationships depending on if the situation is right.

agreed with this.

i guess i never got to the point of somebody telling me they wanted to get to know me better, out loud or otherwise. i guess the lucky ones are in their own separate unreachable world.

I believe Im one of the people that you accuse of denying that so Im going to rephrase my thoughts for the 100th time.

Im not denying that girls have the advantage on online dating. Lets face it there are plenty of males and only a few females so they have the upper hand.

What I do say is that while they have more chances of finding someone they have to go through the same struggles of going into dates with unsuitable people for a while until they find a suitable person.

This can be seen as an advantage, I mean they have plenty of more chances but it can also be seen as a disadvantage, after a few awkward dates they begin to wonder if the problem is with them(lets face it we have seen some male users here do the same thing on quite a few threads and you were all supportive of their struggles)

So I dont think that things are as great as you put them for females when it comes to relationships and not just sex(which is the context on which its used most of the times).

That being said it makes perfect sense on this context.