Experiment with OK Cupid

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I used to be on OKC, and it took me several months to get to know someone before I could see it as worthwhile to go to the trouble to meet. Maybe not five, but at least a few.

Well I mean now I realize that.. the problem is I've obviously run off all the ones I considered interesting enough to message in the first place.. I don't live in an area that is simply awash with well read, intelligent people, who I also find marginally attractive..

Yeah, I used to feel like once the conversations fizzled out with the few local people I'd be compatible with, I was left with zip.

I mean yeah I suppose it's possible if I widened my net a bit.. which I have now done.. I might have more success.. But talking to some one in Seattle or London isn't going to help my desire for companionship. It's like yeah.. you get all the conversation and intelligence.. but none of the physical connectives. So I have to just look near me, the problem is I'm also hampered by the fact I cannot drive in places with heavy traffic.. so it makes any girl in Atlanta off limits... and that is of course where most of my best fits are to be found.

f**k there are some weird guys on this site:

"What is the meaning of this? There is not a full profile here. There are not enough words here. I do not see YOU, here. I do not see anything! I see nothing. I see a person that likes to make money. So what does this tell me? Nothing useful. I see no personality. I see no talents no flaws. I see no filled out sections. Yet I see a tiny response rate. And are we surprised when you have nothing to say! Of course you are going to attract Mr Question Mark. Of course you are going to attract Mr Sup Dude. No! This will not do! FIX IT! I refuse to even give you one star until it is fixed."

Well don't then, Mr anally retentive.

Jeepers.

After looking at his profile it put me off him even more.

Tell him to contact Mr. Jesus, he can cure the blinds.

Sigh! Me too! I've had something like 90 visitors but only creeps have messaged me. Oh, except one nice guy but he wasen't very bright so to speak so.....

hale_bopp, your profile is too short - there are a bunch of sections not filled out. the part you have already written looks great though. i can't tell if you have answered match questions, but i think it looks good if you answer a bunch (people who answer toooo many may come across the wrong way, but i am not sure how other people see that).

you may want to visit some men's profiles to signal interest if you haven't already done so. also rating them etc. can help. and grab the bull by the horns and send a message yourself, even.

you might want to upload a second picture that shows more of your personality. in fact, you seem to have beautiful hands, so as your first picture i'd recommend a picture that shows only your hands doing some kind of hobby or activity like cooking or whatever, then have the face pic as the second one. people will be intrigued by your hands and will want to look deeper. your single picture by itself along with only a partially-filled profile makes it appear like you might not be real (too beautiful and sweet).

in my opinion you should include some funnier things about yourself, like your tendency to wear cat ears and talk in cat language or whatever (REALLY, i am not even kidding). these kinds of things make you approachable and intriguing.

That happens with a lot of people. I guess, respond to some good 'views'

I agree. I mean.. How could I as a potential messenger know if the messengee was actually worth messaging.. since she doesn't have 80% of the profile filled out? To me.. some one who does really unique things.. or even just who wears a funny hat in a photo.. is far more likely to pique my interest enough to actually send a message..

I don't really know if theres a problem with filling out the questions or not.. I've done nearly 1000 of them and it's really helped to put some very unique individuals much higher on the list than had I not done it. I just wish I had been able to not screw up actually messaging them..

Hi all, first-ever post on this site. I'm a bisexual male in his twenties who is widely believed to be an Aspie, and I was actually reading this thread as an unregistered user, but I went ahead and registered in order to post. I just so happened to have deleted my okcupid account about 3 hours ago, right before coming across this thread.

I am of a similar sentiment. It seems to me that that site is specifically geared toward people who have what are perhaps best described as dominant, type-A personalities (which I found to be both overt and latent) and also, geared toward people who prefer such "Type A" folks. At first I thought that the reason I was encountering so many of these people on that site was that I live in a major American city that is overrun with "elites", but then I remembered how the people I met on other dating sites weren't nearly quite the type of people I met on that site. I don't see any point in continuing my membership with okcupid when these are the qualities that most of their members seem to desire in one another. I do not have that kind of personality and I don't desire someone who possesses it, either. Why work so hard in an effort to be something that you're not, especially for the sake of meeting someone who, deep down, you know you'll be unhappy with?

I've stopped using dating websites for the indefinite future. Logging in, running a match search, poring over the search results, trying to convey yourself using only text and photos, engineering messages to people, and hoping for a response...none of that is as meaningful or significant to me as the mystery involved with meeting someone in person (without the aid of a dating site)...you can see things about them and how they react to you that you cannot see over a dating site. And the same goes with things about you and how you react to them. In real life, it's so much easier to gauge the level of attraction, if any, that exists between you and the other person. It's a more organic and honest process in ways that the Internet can't provide.

It's good to be on this site, and I hope to make several good friends!