Mail Order Brides

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I admit I'm not really familiar with this topic, but can you elaborate how you're "buying a human?"

She has a right to decline marrying any man who shows interest in her, and once she's married she's free to leave anytime she likes. And even if she's just looking for a green card, what's wrong with that? Giving companionship in return for a green card. Seems like a fair trade to me.

the person who wants a partner pays for one to be exported from a financially disadvantaged nation. can you explain how that is NOT buying a human? right or wrong, it is still a form of human trafficking where people are commodified. do people get to stay in their new country if they separate or divorce or do they have to go back home again? it's not exactly a choice if they can't stay in the new country.

But who's selling her?

Maybe sshe's selling herself

So what if she is financially disadvantaged - what's wrong with her wanting a better life for herself? No one is forcing her to do anything, and she is (probably) going to be a wife to a middle-class man. It seems like she is getting the better end of the deal.

Of course, the other guy could be some really creepy dude, and I definitely think that mail order bride services have to be highly regulated.

you didn't answer either of my questions.

For every decision/choice one makes, there are consequences to be wary of.

The bride has a choice. Nothing illegal about it even if the consequences aren't ideal in case she wanted to divorce later on.

It's like getting married to someone without a prenuptial agreement and then getting f****d over when the spouse asks for a divorce and takes 50% of what you yourself solely worked for for yourself and for the spouse. f****d up situation but not illegal.

That's interesting! On one hand I heard the Soviet era treated people with "handicaps" poorly, but on another, I heard Russians were in general sympathetic. They do have a history of shamanism and sacred mystics, many of whom may have been autistic or Aspie.

mmm...so would you class marriages of convenience as a from of human commodities trading? What about the practice of the custom bride price (bride wealth)?

I'll love to hear to your views on the marriage of Cio-Cio San and Pinkerton in Puccini's Madama Butterfly. Oh while I think on you might what to look up info about an opera called Anya17

There is a scene in M. Butterfly that talks about how far fetched Madame Butterfly really was. The equivalent Western plot would be the Homecoming Queen refusing marriage to a Kennedy to be the mistress of a short, bald Japanese mid level Sony executive or something.

1) I already explained to you that it's not "buying a human" because she has a choice.

2) If she divorces before she gets her green card, she has to return home. But she can still divorce him. If she wants to stick around long enough to get her green card, that is her choice.

I'm torn. I personally find the practice of mail order brides, at best sad, at worst a little barbaric. But on the other hand arranged marriages were the norm in both east and west until relatively recently, and I feel I shouldn't judge unless the husband is a real brute or pig. Unfortunately, you usually can't tell with emails and brief meetings who is dangerous.

I have some personal experience with the concept of arranged marriages. My uncle has a violent temper. So violent that he couldn't get a match through any marriage broker. (A lot of Japanese marriages are still arranged) So at least in that system there are some safeguards that weed out a lot of the of the real crazies. No doubt many slip through the cracks though.

That scene is at the start of act 2, the Met did a radio performance of Butterfly only a few months back.

Thanks Chipshorter!

This is an opera I know quite a bit about, actually, and you're misrepresenting the plot *completely*. CioCioSan thinks she's entered a mutual love relationship (she's quite naive, and Pinkerton spins a very pretty tale) and yes, her options are somewhat limited because she's a child of suicide/disgrace, but she does not take up with Pinkerton (over Yamadori) because of the advantage or because he's American or whatever.

FFS, she waits THREE YEARS after he leaves, for him to come back. Completely not analagous.

blahblah123, you are incorrect. quite often the female does not have a choice. international agencies are aware of this fact but struggle to sort out which are entering into it willingly. and anyway even if she has a choice she is still being bought and sold.

EDIT: to clarify, when a person buys a prostitute... the hooker may have consented to the act in some cases, but that doesn't mean that her services were not purchased. her sexual services were bought and sold.

with mail order brides, the difference is that the human is purchased wholesale. yes, the human can be returned and the human can leave, but it doesn't make it any less of a business transaction where a person was bought & sold.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 25 Feb 2012, 8:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.