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diniesaur
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21 Apr 2012, 1:22 pm

Kurgan wrote:
Never let a girl string you along with the "let's be friends instead" crap, if she just wants to use you to vent all her problems, then cut contact and try again with a new girl.


I'd like very much to hope that that's not necessarily true. I'm attracted to all genders and non-genders, but I would still like to be friends with people who exist without using them to vent or considering them sex meat. Maybe it's different because I'm male or Autistic or both or something. At least cut lesbians some slack.

I do, however, consider venting an important part of friendships. People seem to like me because I'm easy to talk to and let them vent without judgement (unless, of course, they're having some kind of bigotry-based vent, in which case they can go f**k themselves). Maybe you're being too careful about this.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Apr 2012, 2:11 pm

Adam82 wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
You're only 18. It gets easier once you've passed 20. :)

8O Really, I still haven't had a GF and I still get crushes, and I'm nearly 30.


We (me and you and the 30s like us) are not the norm.



Sweetleaf
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21 Apr 2012, 2:14 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
Personally I think you should verbally confront her about the words in her diary, challenge her on it and be assertive, that will soon show her that you are not someone that takes abuse.

If she's willing to the stab you in the back, she should be willing to stab you in the front, do you really want someone who is a gossiper?


It's abuse to write why you don't want to be with someone in your journal...but perfectly ok to read someones private thoughts in the journal without their knowledge and then confront them on it?


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DogsWithoutHorses
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21 Apr 2012, 4:11 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Personally I think you should verbally confront her about the words in her diary, challenge her on it and be assertive, that will soon show her that you are not someone that takes abuse.

If she's willing to the stab you in the back, she should be willing to stab you in the front, do you really want someone who is a gossiper?


It's abuse to write why you don't want to be with someone in your journal...but perfectly ok to read someones private thoughts in the journal without their knowledge and then confront them on it?


This^ if you had to violate her privacy to find out, she wasn't gossiping. Having her own opinion on a situation that affects her is not stabbing anyone in the back. Sometimes people we like aren't attracted to us, that can hurt, but we move on without throwing a hissyfit or disparaging their character for the crime of being creeped out by an unwanted advance.
Not everyone is confrontational, surely as autistics we can understand how hard it can be to approach someone directly especially with a delicate social concern.
No one deserves to be vilified for working through their feelings/thoughts in a journal.


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Adam82
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21 Apr 2012, 6:59 pm

Kinme wrote:
I come back and there's a ton of posts. :0 Lots of us really do become obsessed with our crushes/relationships. It's so tough to figure out when you're being too clingy/obsessive, because it's what we are used to in our special interests and most of our lifestyle in general.


This. I fall hard for my special interests, I fall hard for my crushes. It's just the way Aspies usually are. Many women will be put off by the obsessive devotion of an Aspie, some might find it sweet. Still waiting for one to have the latter reaction, to be honest.

I've never 'stalked' a girl, but I have been rather...persistent and forward with crushes in the past. Until I finally get the hint she isn't interested, and move on. Which can take me a while.



Adam82
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21 Apr 2012, 7:01 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
You're only 18. It gets easier once you've passed 20. :)

8O Really, I still haven't had a GF and I still get crushes, and I'm nearly 30.


We (me and you and the 30s like us) are not the norm.


Yeah. As you said earlier, we're hardly the most emotionally-blossomed 30 y.os on the planet.



Adam82
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21 Apr 2012, 7:03 pm

Kurgan wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
You're only 18. It gets easier once you've passed 20. :)

8O Really, I still haven't had a GF and I still get crushes, and I'm nearly 30.


Have you ever tried to get a girlfriend? A woman in her late 20's (with some exeptions) doesn't usually care how "cool" you are, whether you're friends with night club owners or whether your rich parents buy you a BMW. They're a lot more mature than teenage girls.

Never let a girl string you along with the "let's be friends instead" crap, if she just wants to use you to vent all her problems, then cut contact and try again with a new girl.


Yeah, I probably haven't, in all honesty, tried hard enough. I have had a few crushes and 'one itises', but I focus on them too much to the exclusion of other girls, and always end up in their 'friend zone'.



melisa27
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14 May 2012, 4:51 pm

I've had my fare share of trying to get some people to like me for either friendships or dates. See you because of the social nostalgia and lack of proper social structure in most public schools, this is how one will mostly feel in the dark. Even online I still couldn't make friends yet cyber date a lot. Some of these people that I tried to make friends with or like were jerks. Smart-asses, etc. My list of these typical online an offline persona could expand across the universe nearly. But because of my isolated intentions in wanting to see some good coming forth out of these situations all it did in return caused cyber-bullying and pure social ignorance. These people online or off wouldn't give a care of I commit suicide. Got back at them, or even moved on with my life. This is the sort of thing that never prepares us mentally for the real challenges outside of the real world. Life has been more a bit wits rather then remember your abc's, certain biology classes, being college and work ready.