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Friendship with the opposite sex vs sexual selection.....

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rabbittss
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04 May 2012, 9:13 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

Everyone has their betters and their lessers..



I disagree, but if that were true, you would not be the judge.


He's not allowed to turn someone down all of a sudden? Unless he leads the "lesser" friend on, plays mind games, lies or stuff like that, he has every right to judge her as lesser than him in terms of physical features.


Nope, that's kinda the opposite of what I said actually

"It's cool to not be interested in someone, for whatever reason"
It's not okay for anyone to act like their lack of sexual interest in a person makes that person inferior.
pretty simple


Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 May 2012, 9:20 am

THREAD REBOOT


The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This is from another thread:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hmm, I guess it all depends on the reason of rejection, but this is rarely disclosed.

One thing I found very annoying in friendships with the other gender is when they start talk what they like and dislike in guys, and they would mention physical/character traits that you don't have or even showing dislike (sometimes with foul expressions such 'eww' or 'no way eurgh') about some guy because of a trait you have!

It would just make you wonder if they see you as a lesser male (as much as those other males) and if they think of you in a such negative light or if they'd talk about you like that behind your back (they were talking behind their backs after all). I mean even if you're their friend, you are a male after all, you're not a 'gender absolute value'.

i have experienced that with female colleagues that i didn't have any romatic interest in any of them yet it still made wonder...


I am sure girls' guys (girls who are friends with guys) experience this too, I recall a girl told me how all her guy friends praise big boobs of some women in front of her yet she has a flat chest.


This is a very ugly side of the friendship with the opposite sex, I guess.


Is that common?

PS: We're not talking about friendship as attempt to date someone, but simply friendship with the opposite sex.



DogsWithoutHorses
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04 May 2012, 10:03 am

rabbittss wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

Everyone has their betters and their lessers..



I disagree, but if that were true, you would not be the judge.


He's not allowed to turn someone down all of a sudden? Unless he leads the "lesser" friend on, plays mind games, lies or stuff like that, he has every right to judge her as lesser than him in terms of physical features.


Nope, that's kinda the opposite of what I said actually

"It's cool to not be interested in someone, for whatever reason"
It's not okay for anyone to act like their lack of sexual interest in a person makes that person inferior.
pretty simple


Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


no


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rabbittss
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04 May 2012, 10:08 am

What a stunning rebuttal.



DogsWithoutHorses
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04 May 2012, 10:56 am

rabbittss wrote:
What a stunning rebuttal.


appropriate for your level of discourse


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Kurgan
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04 May 2012, 3:25 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

Everyone has their betters and their lessers..



I disagree, but if that were true, you would not be the judge.


He's not allowed to turn someone down all of a sudden? Unless he leads the "lesser" friend on, plays mind games, lies or stuff like that, he has every right to judge her as lesser than him in terms of physical features.


Nope, that's kinda the opposite of what I said actually

"It's cool to not be interested in someone, for whatever reason"
It's not okay for anyone to act like their lack of sexual interest in a person makes that person inferior.
pretty simple


Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


no


All humans are worth the same, but some are superior to others. If rabitts is both smarter, better looking and all that compared to the girl he's not interested in, he's superior to her.



rabbittss
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04 May 2012, 6:20 pm

Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

Everyone has their betters and their lessers..



I disagree, but if that were true, you would not be the judge.


He's not allowed to turn someone down all of a sudden? Unless he leads the "lesser" friend on, plays mind games, lies or stuff like that, he has every right to judge her as lesser than him in terms of physical features.


Nope, that's kinda the opposite of what I said actually

"It's cool to not be interested in someone, for whatever reason"
It's not okay for anyone to act like their lack of sexual interest in a person makes that person inferior.
pretty simple


Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


no


All humans are worth the same, but some are superior to others. If rabitts is both smarter, better looking and all that compared to the girl he's not interested in, he's superior to her.


Roughly correct, however I'm not, and wouldn't feel comfortable, making any assumptions on these girls' intelligence since I haven't taken the time to get to know them. I'm basing it entirely off of looks.



hyperlexian
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05 May 2012, 12:31 am

Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

Everyone has their betters and their lessers..



I disagree, but if that were true, you would not be the judge.


He's not allowed to turn someone down all of a sudden? Unless he leads the "lesser" friend on, plays mind games, lies or stuff like that, he has every right to judge her as lesser than him in terms of physical features.


Nope, that's kinda the opposite of what I said actually

"It's cool to not be interested in someone, for whatever reason"
It's not okay for anyone to act like their lack of sexual interest in a person makes that person inferior.
pretty simple


Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


no


All humans are worth the same, but some are superior to others. If rabitts is both smarter, better looking and all that compared to the girl he's not interested in, he's superior to her.

i think you and rabbittss are failing to get her point. she is saying that there isn't a universally acceptable scale that places some people above others in terms of attractiveness. it is subjective.


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rabbittss
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05 May 2012, 12:35 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

Everyone has their betters and their lessers..



I disagree, but if that were true, you would not be the judge.


He's not allowed to turn someone down all of a sudden? Unless he leads the "lesser" friend on, plays mind games, lies or stuff like that, he has every right to judge her as lesser than him in terms of physical features.


Nope, that's kinda the opposite of what I said actually

"It's cool to not be interested in someone, for whatever reason"
It's not okay for anyone to act like their lack of sexual interest in a person makes that person inferior.
pretty simple


Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


no


All humans are worth the same, but some are superior to others. If rabitts is both smarter, better looking and all that compared to the girl he's not interested in, he's superior to her.

i think you and rabbittss are failing to get her point. she is saying that there isn't a universally acceptable scale that places some people above others in terms of attractiveness. it is subjective.


I don't believe I ever stated it was a categorical fact, merely that I consider myself to be above these girls in terms of looks, and thus, for me to contemplate going out with them would require me to lower standards, often considerably.

I'm sure they are nice people, I might even be friends with them, I simply don't want to form a romantic relationship with them, or worse, reproduce with them.



hyperlexian
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05 May 2012, 12:38 am

you said this, which is actually in your quote above your post:

Quote:
Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


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rabbittss
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05 May 2012, 12:54 am

hyperlexian wrote:
you said this, which is actually in your quote above your post:

Quote:
Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


It is fair to say that, I am also inferior to others, in other means. I've admitted that I cannot do math, so, when compared to a person who can do math, I am inferior. Everyone is inferior to someone else at something. It's simply the way the endless variety of humanity exists. Unfortunately for some though, they are well beneath practically everyone, at everything.



hyperlexian
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05 May 2012, 12:57 am

rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you said this, which is actually in your quote above your post:

Quote:
Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


It is fair to say that, I am also inferior to others, in other means. I've admitted that I cannot do math, so, when compared to a person who can do math, I am inferior. Everyone is inferior to someone else at something. It's simply the way the endless variety of humanity exists. Unfortunately for some though, they are well beneath practically everyone, at everything.

i think that if you believe that (bolded) then you have not gotten to know them very well.


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rabbittss
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05 May 2012, 12:59 am

hyperlexian wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you said this, which is actually in your quote above your post:

Quote:
Ahh, no, some people are simply inferior in general. It has nothing to do with sexual interest.


It is fair to say that, I am also inferior to others, in other means. I've admitted that I cannot do math, so, when compared to a person who can do math, I am inferior. Everyone is inferior to someone else at something. It's simply the way the endless variety of humanity exists. Unfortunately for some though, they are well beneath practically everyone, at everything.

i think that if you believe that (bolded) then you have not gotten to know them very well.


I think if I told you what I believe it would likely get me banned.



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05 May 2012, 1:32 am

rabbittss wrote:
I don't believe I ever stated it was a categorical fact, merely that I consider myself to be above these girls in terms of looks, and thus, for me to contemplate going out with them would require me to lower standards, often considerably.


You're utterly obsessed with this inferior/superior, lesser/greater nonsense. You're all tied up in knots because you think you've been incorrectly assessed or whatever, you're constantly assuming superiority over other people, etc etc. There's probably some fellow out there who thinks the "chunky friend" is ideal. There is no scale, your hierarchy is nothing more than an assumed illusion. All there is, is people and their preferences, some of which may be more common than others. But almost any quality you can imagine is preferred by someone.



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05 May 2012, 2:08 am

edgewaters wrote:
You're utterly obsessed with this inferior/superior, lesser/greater nonsense. You're all tied up in knots because you think you've been incorrectly assessed or whatever, you're constantly assuming superiority over other people, etc etc. There's probably some fellow out there who thinks the "chunky friend" is ideal. There is no scale, your hierarchy is nothing more than an assumed illusion. All there is, is people and their preferences, some of which may be more common than others. But almost any quality you can imagine is preferred by someone.


preach

this is truth


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Last edited by DogsWithoutHorses on 05 May 2012, 2:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 May 2012, 8:34 am

The main question of the thread:

Quote:
Is that common?

PS: We're not talking about friendship as attempt to date someone, but simply friendship with the opposite sex.


As you see it's not about romance through friendship (SO FORGET ABOUT THE ROMANCE PART!!) or gender inequality problems.