How to recognize when a girl is flirting with you?

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Actually females tease people for the fun of it.
Without actually having any feelings towards you.
Ask her what she thinks of a quiet person.

Right. And whats really complicated is that even blatant flirting and innuendo directed at someone doesn't necessarily mean anything at all. From what I can tell it looks like a game or sport that is only sometimes played for stakes. Other times it's for comedic effect, social lubrication, as friendly ribbing, as malicious ribbing, for fun/amusement, a status display, or any one of many other reasons. I think the whole thing is meant to be so you can never quite tell if it's for stakes or not, to make you curious without exposing the other person to any risk or vulnerability. The fact that it's sometimes not played for stakes is what camouflages the times when it is.

I read the book "No more Mr Nice Guy" back in my earlier years and it changed me for the better. Instead of coming across as a pushover, you need to come over as someone with your own mind, your own presence, and not being a pushover you gain respect. In fact, being an arrogant a-hole creates a feeling of attraction in many young women, less so when they're above 30, but still everyone is different. I wouldn't recommend being an arrogant a-hole because although you might attract good-looking girls they aren't likely to be so nice on the inside. You need to come across as having a presence, a look of confidence, not showing too much interest in any particular girl (or you'll be a pushover). If you really like someone then you need to mention something to her, stay for max 1-2 minutes, act like you are a busy man, and make excuses to move on (ensuring that you can come back later). Then she thinks "does he find me attractive or not?".

The other thing to remember is that in places like clubs and bars, most of the good-looking girls will have their "b*tch-shield" raised so there's not much point approaching them. The typical 20-something girls in groups will typically play the "points game" (very important to know). They want to be seen in front of their girl friends to be attractive to lots of people so it gives the impression they could take their pick from anyone, but they choose not to take any of the guys because they want to be seen as (a) not an easy girl, and (b) being able to command high standards. It's competition between girls. Many dumbass guys with big muscles who think they are "god's gift" will approach them, but they end up by giving away all their points to the girl because the girl just thinks it's funny, she gets flattered in front of her friends and she has scored more points from him. But if the girl goes home with a guy, then she has lost all her points to him, so loses.
Your mission, is not to waste all your points by giving attention to one of those girls. That is why it is better to avoid approaching a girl who is in a large group. Girls who are in couples would be better, because she's likely to be just out with her very best friend, who is not going to judge her if she does end up exchanging phone numbers with you ( or going further ).

Better places are theatres (preferably not of the movie theatre or cinema kind) ; during the breaks around the bar area, the clientele is much more approachable, you won't have to shout over loud music. Art museums also good. You don't have to be into art.

When you date online, you write, and when you write, you can make smileys, and when you flirt, you make "winkeys".

yes, first encounter. As well as how to know whether a friend is flirting or not.

Some girls are just playful and flirty to friends. Some of my female friends, we tease each other, playfully slap each other and get playfully touchy, but it's just friendship - nothing more.

Some girls are just playful and flirty to friends. Some of my female friends, we tease each other, playfully slap each other and get playfully touchy, but it's just friendship - nothing more.

If they do not mean it, then why the hell do they do it?
This obscures everything and makes flirting almost unrecognisable.

This is the eternal mystery of women, to me. I will never understand why they act flirty around you when they don't mean it. It makes things a lot more complicated than they should be, especially for an Aspie, who has trouble reading social cues as it is.

If they do not mean it, then why the hell do they do it?
This obscures everything and makes flirting almost unrecognisable.

It's a form of trying to be nice and show that you care, although from a more sexual standpoint rather than a platonic friendly standpoint.

I wouldn't have thought a person could care about another person in a sexual way.

I'm utterly confused by this as well. How can you care about someone sexually, but at the same time not care about someone sexually?