Older Men/(Women?)

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JanuaryMan
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07 Jun 2012, 7:29 am

smudge wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys.

Maybe I just see the awkward attempts by men IRL who ask girls out who are out of their league. I see men asking out women far more than vice versa, but I guess that just makes sense (society's rules blah blah). I don't think I've ever seen a big woman asking out a fit guy.

They do it within the confines of the internet to avoid comments such as the one Boo made. Happens a lot on dating sites, facebook, bebo (*shudders*) etc. but to be honest I don't see how it's different from a Woody Allen chatting up a Scarlett Johansson.

DogsWithoutHorses
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07 Jun 2012, 7:32 am

JanuaryMan wrote:

smudge wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys.

Physical attractiveness is pretty subjective while age is essentially quantifiable. I think there are a lot of similarities in the comparison, but I also think there are some key differences.

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JanuaryMan
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07 Jun 2012, 7:33 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

As far as entitlement v. curiosity goes -
Everybody sees themselves as the protagonist of their own story yeah? the hero
And what does the hero always get at the end? The girl. The lovely soft pretty young girl. (or in "chick flicks", the wedding)
I think this sets up an idea of a mate as a reward for being good/whatever and that feeds into entitlement culture.

I liked this part in particular because I see it here a lot. Anyone remember this guy? They seem to think the same things that got him the girl should apply to them. Unfortunately it's something they instilled in cartoons as far back as cartoons went and it's still done today.

Kurgan
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07 Jun 2012, 7:34 am

smudge wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys.

I remember back in high school when an ugly girl went around in the cafeteria and asked guys who weren't ugly if they'd like to come with her to the movies. I've also heard numerous conversations between ugly girls about their massive checklists in terms of dating.

@OP:

Assertiveness doesn't make you less feminine. If an aging man hits on you, tell him you have a boyfriend, this doesn't insult anyone's intelligence. If a guy gives you a creepy pick-up line where he mentions his dick, give him a sarcastic comeback. If an ugly girl hits on me, I avoid eye-contact without being submissive, I give her very short answers and all that. This works.

When it comes to online dating, state in your profile that age isn't up for discussion and that you do not respond to messages over a certain age limit. It's not impolite to not respond to people who do not read your profile.

Last edited by Kurgan on 07 Jun 2012, 7:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Jun 2012, 7:34 am

JanuaryMan wrote:

smudge wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys.

You make it sounds as if my comment was an insult.

MXH
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07 Jun 2012, 7:35 am

JanuaryMan wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

agree. all this talk of men being entitled to women was brought by the fairy tales. the man had to fight a dragon or something to rescue the girl, then the girl falls for him. It just doesnt work that way. But its how this generation has been brought up

JanuaryMan
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07 Jun 2012, 7:39 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

JanuaryMan wrote:

smudge wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys.

You make it sounds as if my comment was an insult.

It wasn't, dude, but they're very mindful of what others think. They don't want to be seen as the little leaguers going after the major league no more than we do.

spongy
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07 Jun 2012, 7:42 am

We all know how I love one sided threads so Im going to provide a few cases of the opposite example just to see if theres any advice:
Im only approached by women that are twice my age, whats up with that?

Last month I was hanging out with a few friends at about 2 AM and some drunk woman that was about twice my age started approaching us asking things to keep us interested(which of you support x soccer team?...) and trying to get touchy with my friends/me.
We excused ourselves pretty fast but the whole thing was odd.

Similar thing happened last summer with a friend of a friend(I made the mistake of going to the graduation of someone that was my mums age) she misunderstood my politeness for having feelings...

Any idea on how to bring the age thing up without offending them?

Kurgan
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07 Jun 2012, 7:45 am

spongy wrote:

Not sure how it works in the US, but you average 40 year old cougar puts much, much more effort into her appearance than your average 20 year old single girl.

MXH
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07 Jun 2012, 7:45 am

spongy wrote:

i had brought up the cougar thing earlier. What can you do aboutit? simply declining them, you dont have to give a reason unless they ask for one

smudge
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07 Jun 2012, 7:49 am

====

Last edited by smudge on 08 Jun 2012, 11:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

smudge
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07 Jun 2012, 7:55 am

====

Last edited by smudge on 08 Jun 2012, 11:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

spongy
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07 Jun 2012, 7:56 am

smudge wrote:

I noticed in the pics thread spongy that you said you purposely dressed older (I think). If you didn't have that style of beard, you would look much younger. If I dated you, I would ask you to shave it off!

Friend of a friend knew I was younger. I didnt have a beard back then and I tried to wear acceptable clothes for my age in case someone of my age was around.

You have a point with the fact that lately Ive been dressing older but it still happens with the old clothes that are what most of my class mates my age wear(I try to find something suitable among the things I see my peers wearing after an incident regarding fashion tips when I was in highschool)

Edit: Ive been hanging out with older people lately to work on my social skills(if I make a mistake around a girl now its ok because I wasnt going to date her anyways) and I will move to people my age once Ive made some progress on this area.

Last edited by spongy on 07 Jun 2012, 8:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

DogsWithoutHorses
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07 Jun 2012, 7:58 am

spongy wrote:

Thank you! I was hoping to get to read a variety of experiences. Wish I had some advice for you, but if I knew I wouldn't have asked in the first place.

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Jun 2012, 8:00 am

JanuaryMan wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

JanuaryMan wrote:

smudge wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I know fat girls who only go for six-packed guys.

You make it sounds as if my comment was an insult.

It wasn't, dude, but they're very mindful of what others think. They don't want to be seen as the little leaguers going after the major league no more than we do.

I told a fat friend (girl) .who was complaining about why all the guys she likes don't like her back. that she's being illogical in her choice of guys. I was like "I might like tall girls but I don't go for 180 cm tall models because i would be wasting my time, one has to be logical" - she got the message, because she only likes the Marines-type looks of guys (who already have plenty of girls roaming around them), and as expected, they always reject her!

In fact, she was approached by a close guy friend (not fat, just regular) a while ago who was madly in love in with her for years, she rejected him because he wasn't her 'type'.
And she rejected another guy for the same reason yet she feels regret after she knew he got someone else - duh! My point is, she isn't that undesired! but she doesn't give any chance for a guy who's less than a celeb-looking while she's not. Now she wants to go for Restrictive surgery, I am not sure how safe such procedures are.

We should be logical in our potential mate choices, in my opinion.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 07 Jun 2012, 10:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

MXH
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07 Jun 2012, 8:05 am

i agree. even though being logical does mean succumbing to your potential. Problem comes when (in my case) you're told you're handsome, and a bunch of other things by girls who have zero interest in you. And following that track it ends that no women have interest in you. what do you do then?

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