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How do I find Ms. Right?

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hyperlexian
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01 Feb 2013, 9:24 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
(In a bus)

ShamelessGit: Hello, sir.
Him: Um, hello
ShamelessGit: Do you know that a cat's penis is barbed and makes intercourse with the female painful?
Him: Do you know that I am a retired boxer and my fist makes the target's cranium resonates?
ShamelessGit: No, how?
Him: Well, you are about to find out now.

:lol:


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ShamelessGit
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01 Feb 2013, 7:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
(In a bus)

ShamelessGit: Hello, sir.
Him: Um, hello
ShamelessGit: Do you know that a cat's penis is barbed and makes intercourse with the female painful?
Him: Do you know that I am a retired boxer and my fist makes the target's cranium resonates?
ShamelessGit: No, how?
Him: Well, you are about to find out now.


:lol:



ShamelessGit
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01 Feb 2013, 7:20 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
ShamelessGit wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
ShamelessGit wrote:
bucephalus wrote:
who's shoes? talking to a woman is not rocket science :)


Actually, I have worked harder on improving my social skills than anything else in my whole life, and a large part of that is talking to women. Even if I'm not interested in dating them, talking to the typical woman in a friendly way is very, very different than talking to the typical man. It took me years to figure out how to talk to women in even a nonromantic way that would not likely be rejected. I'm kind of pleased with myself for having figured it out.

actually, no. bucephalus used his "skill" of talking to me like he talks to men, and it worked quite well. we are now living together :D . the proof is in the pudding. it can be quite effective to talk to women like any other people because they are fellow humans and all that.


You are probably a bit of an exception, like most women here, because this is an autism site.

When I was a teenager I didn't talk about much except whatever obsession I had at the time, so it was almost entirely object-based. You can probably imagine that talking about atoms, or a cat's barbed penis (I thought animal penises were interesting when I was a teenager) would not be a good way of starting a conversation with a teenage girl, but I could usually find a guy to talk about that stuff with. My experience with women is that they like to talk about the emotional relevance of whatever is going on. Typically I get good responses with a girl if I find some sort of trivial subject to start the conversation, and then I ask her about herself and act like I am interested in what she finds interesting and what her dreams for the future are. A lot of guys would probably think I was gay if I talked to them like that.

i don't think very many unfamiliar men would comfortably talk to you about animal penises either. i believe you are comparing male friends against female strangers, which isn't the same thing. go ahead and try talking to a man about animal penises at a bus stop and see how he reacts to you. he *may* be polite but i sincerely doubt you would have made a new BFF.

if you think back to how you first made any new friend, it is a similar process. nothing gendered there at all.


You are probably right about comparing male friends to female strangers. I am also thinking about teenage boys in junior high vs adults in the real world. It seemed like in Junior High as if a "friend" could be established in a single sitting and then thrown away just as easily, and no one was embarrassed to talk about animal penises. Somehow it seemed like I could get into the topic of my obsession in Junior High within about 5 min with at least 1/10 of the males I encountered. Most people thought I was weird and didn't really consider me to be a friend, but I didn't mind, so long as they humored my conversation. All I know is that it seems like I can always find a guy to talk about nerd stuff with almost wherever I go in the university, but it is exceedingly difficult to do with girls, and I've not yet gotten a girl to talk nerdy to me, although I would think that would be very hot. It would totally give me a boner if I could find a cute girl to explain to me how hamiltonian mechanics is applied to quantum mechanics; I kind of missed that when I first took the class. But it still doesn't seem like it's possible to maintain a friendship with a woman if the topic of conversation is constantly about emotionless subjects. That's just my experience.



Stalk
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01 Feb 2013, 7:34 pm

I guess there in lies the problem, that I cannot talk to a man. Or random male stranger. I find it extremely hard to make that connection. All I can do is to greet people and that would go on for years... nothing will come of it.

So figuring out how to talk to a woman is then probably equally as difficult to talk to a man. Only problem is the romantic part, how does that fit in when talking to a man? So it can't be true that it is simply the same. Or do you ask the guy out to get a beer and the same applies to a woman?