Virginity

Post Reply New Topic

You live in California. Head east to a brothel in Reno. It's not cheap though.

Or the fairy tale about there being someone for everyone.

Isn't that the same scenario as a guy in his mid 30's or later never having a girl friend or is still a virgin? No one wanted him to that point either.

Hiring a hooker might be a better option, then - at least you've had sex.

depends on the person. For you maybe a hooker would be better. For some they wont lament what theyve not had, and will be better not caring they havent had it. For others ending pain is better than masking it.

That was my reasoning as well. No one was interested until that point and it appears to be unlikely in the future. Therefore I may as well pay for sex, because I'm not getting laid otherwise.

Yes and no. Not having sex until your mid 30s could be spun to be a choice to wait. Only having sex with a hooker until your mid 30's cannot be spun into that because the guy obviously wants sex.

Personally, I'd like the idea that the guy has had chances before but turned them down, rather than not had any chances at all. My first bf was 17 when we did it, and I knew he was a virgin because he told me, but he told me that he had had chances before. Considering his opinions on things like religion and politics and his penchant for discussing them with others and his arrogant way he came across about how he was so right all the time about them, I now doubt that he had chances, but he was hot so he might have. He also had a pretty fast cherry Nova too. With an 8 track. It was that long ago. And he liked obscure bands and it made me feel superior to be able to know who Mott The Hoople was. Also, looking back, he seemed a bit hesitant and scared, but at the time my best friend slept around a lot and she told me "do this, boys like it".

That first bf put the spin on it that he had chances but turned them down and just couldn't resist/was too in love with me to not instigate that. It gets more difficult as you get older. I'd seriously suggest to get some experience though becuase a bad lover is worse than no lover at all, in my opinion.

Depending on age, you may need more skills than not. I am 48 and to be honest (not going into this but you can infer from the other thread) that if the guy doesn't do something that just makes me melt, speechless and breathless, then there's no point.

17 is much different than 37. By 37 you are supposed to have had some form of a relationship, maybe even married and have children. I suspect there is a question of what someone has done their entire life to remain a virgin so long. I know women who think a man is beyond repair if he hasn't been married or at least engaged by 30. Having sex by social standards is considered much easier.

So much knowledge. Thanks

You know you dont have to tell the truth about it, right? And if you suck at it and are called out, you can just frown and say something like "Baby, this is how I roll, if you don't like it there's the door".

I hope you were serious, because I took it as serious. I do hope I was helpful too.

Yes I took it serious.

I realize I can lie about it (I can lie about a lot of things given sufficient practice). My only concern is getting called out on it later. For a 1 night stand, lying should be adequate

I meant more that the physical act is not that hard. As Stewie said "Get in there and insert your pe-nis into her vagina"

Getting a girl is not easy.

awesome advice!! !

also, once you have more sex with the same person, the better it gets. this is even true with experienced people. the first time with a new partner is usually a bit experimental and awkward. best to keep in mind that after a short while it will just be a memory, and then all of the experiences over time will start to blend together a bit.

ahh, thats more realistic response

This thread has had some useful information for me, thanks . If I ever wanted to hire a prostitute, I got the money and know the place but... would you feel ok with that? And truly enjoy it? Kurgan made a point, that sometimes virginity is treated as a bigger deal than it should be, but from that starting point I'll go the opposite direction. There is nothing wrong, or different, with being a virgin. and "getting rid of it" should never be a motivator.

Got derailed a bit though you worry about lack of experience? I can feel your pain there, and if my lovemaking were as good as my dancing then I'd be in a dire, dire spot (dancing is big in my culture, don't take that comment too seriously). But if you read about the topic already, and know that the first time seems to go badly, then what's the problem if it actually goes badly? Sometimes I fantasize that my first time I'll know exactly what I'm doing and be some sort of sleeper sex god but in the end, it's only wishful thinking. Making an almost unrelated comparison, I've been a teacher for the last three weeks. The first class of the first day was awful, I didn't know what I was doing but now I'm much better. And now I share metaldanielle's opinion here: If she doesn't like you, and isn't willing to accept your inexperience, then she's not worth it. And if it means something, then that's what matters in my opinion, regardless of the outcome. One extra piece of advice; try to leave your insecurities behind, to the extent it's possible. Think about the fact that you'll as close as you can get with a woman you really like, and savour that moment. I bet you can't do that with a prostitute.

Now for some good old topic derailment

DoniiMann lost it at 32, so there. Mid-thirties is actually not a bad age to be,



That statement made me cringe. Literally. And I read it again and it made me cringe again. It struck a chord in me, because I've been through that, probably not as severe, but that year in Germany made me feel like that, with decreased contact with my closest of friends and stuff. And that's a very rough spot to be in. Something I really want to say though is, we are not set in stone. We are capable of change, even our core beliefs are subject to change, and note how lonely, desperate, discouraged and tormented are emotional states, instead of personality traits. Even if you feel like that all the time, it doesn't mean you ARE that. And something else... if you think so lowly of yourself, why would anybody else, woman or otherwise, think any better?

To bitter aspies in general... maybe you'll hate me or something, but I must still say it; before trying to make other people like you, start liking yourself. Two years ago I asked myself the question, "why would a woman want to be with me", and didn't came up with many, And it sucked. But I did realize there were some good things about me. And this should be the first step, you guys should all try to see what's positive about yourselves. You're not lost. But before I start going on too deeply... are those unsatisfied with their success with women also unsatisfied with their life in general?



There is something I feel I must say,