MacDragard wrote:
Okay, the problem with Richard is NOT aspergers.
The problem with Richard, which I bet is the problem with most aspie guys, is that his mother is driving his life. Because he's dependent on her and she's an overbearing mother, Richard has not developed into a mature man - something that is very problematic for a guy in his 30's. She raised him to be this nice, cleancut BOY who lives a sheltered life. This is the worst position ANY guy can be in, especially when it comes to meeting women and dating. He never learned how to go out and take risks or how to face sheer adversity, and I'm sorry but you can't blame aspergers from preventing him from at least trying to do that.
I know a guy who's in his late 20s, has (albeit fairly mild) aspergers, has a job with a fat paycheck, a car, his own apartment, volunteers on weekends and has joined social interest clubs, and even goes out to bars and nightclubs(by HIMSELF mind you)....And yet he STILL hasn't found a gf and has been actively on the hunt for 5 YEARS! Last time he had a gf was in college. The thing about social endeavors and social risk taking in general is that what matters are the RESULTS and not the effort. For example, many women have told me to my face that they dislike being approached by male strangers in public places whom they're not interested in, and especially when they're by themselves.
If you're a guy with asperger syndrome, the normal ways that men meet women are probably not going to work for you. Most NT women find social ineptitude to be unattractive, and furthermore the more externally obvious your condition is the more repulsive that makes you to women(who tend to be highly self-conscious and concerned with what others think of them as well as the person they're dating. if you stand out in a negative way then this will make her feel embarrassed to be your gf).
Obviously Richard needs to get a job and a place of his own to live, but that by itself isn't enough. I think Rich needs to find a place, or a means, of meeting women who are in a similar situation to his own and struggle with the same issues. If you're really that abnormal, someone else who is abnormal is more likely to be accepting of you that someone who isn't.