01 Sep 2012, 6:50 pm
curlyfry
Veteran
Joined: 13 Jun 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,502
Location: Latitude : 45.373. Longitude : -84.955
01 Sep 2012, 7:04 pm
minotaurheadcheese
Velociraptor
Joined: 20 Apr 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 412
Location: the lone lands
01 Sep 2012, 7:25 pm
TM wrote:
minotaurheadcheese wrote:
TM wrote:
Because for the most part, what women (and men) are largely attracted to is subconscious and thus lists are pointless.
There's some truth in this, but it doesn't hurt to be able to recognize bad news when you see it coming.
That assumes that "seeing bad news" will prevent it coming to fruition. I mean there is a reason why certain of my female friends always complain about the "as*holes" they date, yet continue to date the same breed of as*hole.
I've both known those people and been one of them. I still think that identifying *specific* red flags (as opposed to simply lumping people in pejorative categories) can help you know when it's time to back off. You may still find yourself attracted to a certain person but realize (to use an example from my own experience) "He fantasizes about using physical violence on people because he thinks they're spoiled. ALERT! ALERT!!" And thus another "as*hole" is avoided. That's just my two cents, though, so I'll stop derailing the topic now
01 Sep 2012, 7:32 pm
Interesting. According to the lists posted here, I am actually a pretty decent guy for dating. I wonder what is my real problem. Lack of confidence? Uncanny valley? Lack of interest (at least until it is already too late)? All of the above (even though I did not structure this message as list, which means there is no "above")? I am convinced it is actually an ancient mayan curse. 
01 Sep 2012, 7:35 pm
Magnus_Rex wrote:
Interesting. According to the lists posted here, I am actually a pretty decent guy for dating. I wonder what is my real problem. Lack of confidence? Uncanny valley? Lack of interest (at least until it is already too late)? All of the above (even though I did not structure this message as list, which means there is no "above")? I am convinced it is actually an ancient mayan curse.
Well, from your picture you are pretty good looking and appear to be in good shape. It could be body language related, speech related or a number of other things. Perhaps you, like many aspie males have "calibration" issues in your interactions with women.
Kaufmancab51
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 2 Sep 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 180
Location: Rochester, New York
01 Sep 2012, 8:00 pm
01 Sep 2012, 8:55 pm
Magnus_Rex wrote:
All of the above (even though I did not structure this message as list, which means there is no "above")?
Have you checked the lists against the same women's lists in a "what do women want in a man?" thread? I'm pretty sure there's at least 100 of those, though they quickly derail from lists of qualities to arguments about shallowness etc., hehehe. But anyway my point is, these are things women DO NOT want. So for me, they are things that will deter me from (rather than attract me to) a man. That has nothing to do with whether or not he possesses the qualities I DO want. So you could pass the first hurdle then fail at the next.
But, most women want a good sense of humour and it looks like you have one of those, so I'm guessing that's not what you are doing "wrong".
01 Sep 2012, 10:00 pm
01 Sep 2012, 11:40 pm
TM wrote:
Well, from your picture you are pretty good looking and appear to be in good shape. It could be body language related, speech related or a number of other things. Perhaps you, like many aspie males have "calibration" issues in your interactions with women.
I have been told that by many people (mostly men, actually; when women tell me that, it is from the safety of a broadband connection and thousands of kilometers of distance from me). I suppose there are a few subtle traits like the ones you mentioned getting on my way. Things like body language, excentric behavior, lack of confidence and so on.
yellowtamarin wrote:
Have you checked the lists against the same women's lists in a "what do women want in a man?" thread? I'm pretty sure there's at least 100 of those, though they quickly derail from lists of qualities to arguments about shallowness etc., hehehe. But anyway my point is, these are things women DO NOT want. So for me, they are things that will deter me from (rather than attract me to) a man. That has nothing to do with whether or not he possesses the qualities I DO want. So you could pass the first hurdle then fail at the next.
But, most women want a good sense of humour and it looks like you have one of those, so I'm guessing that's not what you are doing "wrong".
But, most women want a good sense of humour and it looks like you have one of those, so I'm guessing that's not what you are doing "wrong".
Yes. According to those lists, the most common requirements are honesty, diligence, romance, humour, kindness and intelligence. I have no idea if I am romantic or not (since I never had a girlfriend) and, while I am generally willing to help people without asking for anything in exchange, my bluntness is frequently at odds with my kindness. But I have all of the other traits (although my sense of humour is a little strange and my intelligence is more about learning and processing and less about common sense and living in society).
01 Sep 2012, 11:50 pm
OliveOilMom
Veteran
Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
02 Sep 2012, 12:03 am
1000Knives wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
Religious.
Not leftist.
Highly-sexed.
Non-feminist.
Meat-eater.
Highly-social.
Fatphobic.
Not leftist.
Highly-sexed.
Non-feminist.
Meat-eater.
Highly-social.
Fatphobic.
That's almost me, I'm flattered.
You do know it's what kind of man you don't want, right?
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
Kaufmancab51
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 2 Sep 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 180
Location: Rochester, New York
02 Sep 2012, 12:13 am
OliveOilMom wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
Religious.
Not leftist.
Highly-sexed.
Non-feminist.
Meat-eater.
Highly-social.
Fatphobic.
Not leftist.
Highly-sexed.
Non-feminist.
Meat-eater.
Highly-social.
Fatphobic.
That's almost me, I'm flattered.
You do know it's what kind of man you don't want, right?
02 Sep 2012, 4:08 am
02 Sep 2012, 7:42 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,107
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
02 Sep 2012, 9:08 am
ArrantPariah wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Surfman wrote:
This is a bad thread for aspie males with self esteem issues
But if your secure in your shortcomings, and dont give a f**k, its funny seeing the contradictory wants some females come up with
Cant find a better man, sigh
But if your secure in your shortcomings, and dont give a f**k, its funny seeing the contradictory wants some females come up with
Cant find a better man, sigh
I don't see myself in any of their listings tho, except maybe in a couple of Garnet's points.
Do you change your own tires? When I buy tires, I just let the shop change them for me.
I did once with some help but hey..... OliveOil won't care about that much since I have some things that compensate this.
Btw, don't really believe these lists, it's all BS.
I found that women often go for men who claimed earlier they wouldn't go for. They OFTEN contradict their lists.
For instance, I recall that ValentineWiggin's current bf is Rightist.
Am I right ValentineWiggin?
02 Sep 2012, 11:14 am
