Why is self confidence so bad?

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I think you both missed what I was saying, probably because you're hung up on the whole "anyone who hates a confident person must be unconfident and jealous" trip.

No, what I was saying is that in addition to self-confidence is it ALSO possible some of these confident types can be jerks as well. Not because of their self-confidence, but in addition to it and separate from it. Their self-confidence is a good attribute, but their additional, separate jerky behavior is an unaffiliated bad attribute. And when someone criticizes them for their jerk behavior, you assume they're criticizing their self-confidence instead. So you let a lot of BS slide because you can's separate the two.

Even right now, because you seem to misunderstand, you've probably written me off as "unconfident guy who's jealous," when that's not what I was saying or the point I was making.

Confidence is never bad but to quote Uncle Ben..."with great power comes great repsonsibility." So basically it comes down to using your talents wisely and fairly. Someone who is confident and overuses or abuses that confidence knowingly is likely to be less popular than an average Joe who is more humble.

If you are confident, know when to use that confidence and when to sit back. Sometimes as well, we can be very sure of ourselves when there is nothing of value we have to offer anyone so it is important never to overestimate our own self worth, too.

In New Zealand we have a thing called the tall poppy syndrome

Whereas any one than grows above the rest is chopped down

Its actually a very negativistic and culturally limiting syndrome, that perpetuates a boring and restrictive herd mentality. Caesars ugly mob rule

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome
Tall poppy syndrome (TPS) is a pejorative term primarily used in the UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and other Anglosphere nations to describe a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers........

^^^^ YES!! A thousand times, YES!! !

man that is funny

While at the same time it sounds like words from someone who's never been crushed under the heels of people with "confidence".
In fact, awfully close to the words of a bully, mocking those people who don't have the confidence to stand up to their oppression.

Confidence is very useful to avoid being crushed under the heels of people with confidence, and stand up to their oppression

Thats mathmatically impossible.
Males would have to outnumber females by several to one for that to be true.
The human race is divided roughly equally by gender.

I don't mind self-confidence much, but thinking you're perfect is just really damn creepy in my eyes, you know you always got something to improve yourself on.

I see confidence as a ladder, even when you're up there at the highest point in the sky, there are still always weak points in you that you can fix and no-one will ever be perfect in their lives.

I think being "perfect" comes without actually KNOWING you're perfect and by not taking yourself seriously.

Actually, you got the math wrong. If we have a population of 3.5 billion of each gender (actually women slightly outnumber men), which is a total population of 7 billion, out of which 10% cannot find a partner, that's about 700 million people, out of which 75% are males, that would be a total of 525m men, and 175m women.

So long as the number of women who struggle with finding a partner does not go above:
If 3 men per 1 woman: 33,33333333333333333333333% of women
If 4 men per 1 woman : 25% of women.

His proposition holds. Of course, if it does hit those numbers, then the number of men who struggle with women would be 100% of men, and that is an unrealistic proposition.

*Edit* If there is a "only on an aspie forum" thread, this post should probably go in it.

Sounds like the tale of the crab contest...
There was a contest for crab farmers (? - don't know what the term in English would be, think of something like a fish farm but with crabs), where contestants from the whole world took their crabs. Every single container had its lid tightly secured, so that the crabs wouldn't escape, with one exception: the Peruvian farmer's container. Everyone was amazed at how, even though the container had no lid, no crab escaped. So they asked him what was his secret. "Oh, there is no secret. You see, these are Peruvian crabs: as soon as one of them begins to climb, all the others pull him down".
That's why we have this saying, too: "A Peruvian's worst enemy is... another Peruvian".

Me not caring about stupid guys saying that being over 40 without having had a GF or gone to a brothel makes me less of a man - that's being self-confident. I am man enough that I don't need to prove anything to anyone.

Some guy thinking the traffic lights are for everyone else but not for him and he should just drive on - that's just an as*hole without whom the world would be a much better place.

Unfortunately, some people think the latter is self-confident and the former is a freak. But I don't care about such people, either.

Why do you advocate lying to yourself until you start believing it? Isn't that the path to becoming a pathological liar to others?

No, I have said that while some confident people may be jerks, they aren't all jerks and probably more are nice people than are jerks. What I get back is people telling me how confident people hurt their feelings, etc. And how confidence is a jerky trait.

So no, I can seperate the two easily. My entire thread is about wondering why some others here can't.

Do they also hate blondes, or redheads or brunettes because somebody with that hair color hurt their feelings in the past? Makes about as much sense.

Because "confidence" is an annoyin, overused soundbite that everybody says to have, but nobody ever explains how to have it.