Latin, or Gringo Lover?

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Funny Teq - I have never had a latino try to rape me.
Plenty of gringoes have tried though.

And maybe, just maybe, it might not be a good idea to call an entire ethnicity rapists?
Or can you not see how that might not be only highly inaccurate, but highly offensive?

Latin people may be more persistent but most latins are taught to respect a female at all times.
This means that while they may keep asking someone out repeatedly over a period of time until the other person says yes they understand that no means no and leave me the hell alone(Yes Ive seen people say this sort of things to make a point) means its never going to happen.

I wont go into rape rates but I can however tell you that when I told my family of 4 doctors what rohypnol was known for abroad(they use it as a sedant for operations here) they were shocked and some of them still claim that I must be mistaken/have misread something

Some Anglophones may interpret the word that way, and some Anglophones may wish to feel that they are being insulted.

Australians have developed a lot of slang terms for different nationalities: Lebo for Lebanese; Sepo for American; Pummie (sp.?) for Engish, Kiwi for New Zealander. These terms aren't necessarily meant to be disparaging.

In this old Speedy Gonzalez cartoon

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmpAKnjN5UY[/youtube]

the Mexican mice are angry that Speedy is getting all of the chicas. At about 2:20, one mouse suggests getting the "Gringo pussycat" (Sylvester) to chase Speedy out of town. The word Gringo is not used in an offensive or disparaging context.

I suspect that most Gringa sex tourists are not looking for a quick stud service, but more of a passionate, no-strings-attached, temporary boyfriend-fantasy experience, where she is romanced and treated like a special lady. Of course, coitus will be involved, but her choice of positions, and he will successfully anticipate her preferences.

I think that most of our ladies are going to the Caribbean for this. Wouldn't there also be a large number of buff-looking Brazilian men who would be willing participants in this type of role-play, for a price?

Here is Shakira's La Tortura

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dsp_8Lm1eSk[/youtube]

Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/shakira/latortura.html

I don't believe that she has done an English-language version of this song, because I don't think that it would resonate with a Gringo audience. She does a lot of songs about being disappointed with men who seek coitus with other women--I don't think that I've ever encountered a song that cut the other way.

The lines that I've bolded: "From Monday to Friday you have my love. It is better if you let me have Saturday to myself." This has to be a uniquely Latino way of saying "I'm Sorry."

And, of course, very few heterosexual men could, with complete indifference, behold Shakira's luscious wiggling. She could have been a factor in drawing Gringos to visit Colombia.

Aaay amor me duele tanto...
Me duele tanto

Pommy is a derogatory term, but it can also be affectionate too. Mostly such remarks are taken in good humour or ignored by British expats in Australia so I'm told (unless it's intended to be abusive). It does grate a bit when Australians use the term to refer to British people in Britain itself though.

I've never heard of "Kiwi" being used offensively but I've definitely heard "Pom" meant that way.

If they say "no", do they keep trying and keep persisting? See, I would call that harassment and someone who doesn't take no for an answer.

If a woman keeps having to say no to a man when she's already made up her mind, I'd consider that predatory behaviour.

Surely no is no and that's the end of it? That doesn't give a man the right to carry on demanding sex of someone.



Did you tell them no? And how is a Latino supposed to know when no means no? No might mean yes, you just haven't gotten into it yet. See what I mean?

Unless you explain it properly to me, I'm not changing my original statement.

Your original statement claims that latinos are a bunch of rapists. I'll just repost counter-evidence:

Do you have a good answer to those? Or by which definition of rapist are you going on? Mine is a person who forces another one to have sexual intercourse. The things you've said might make a case for harassment, but they fail to make the connection to rape. As I said before, it's a very strong word.

On persistence... that's a cultural difference. Different cultures have different worldviews, different values, different concepts of what's right and wrong, and hastily judging another culture through your own way to see the world shows... ignorance. Now now, I can't give the whole picture there as I'm not a woman so I haven't had guys hit on me consistently through an extended period of time, but I have close friends who've been through that, so I can tell you: yes, it can be annoying. And some guys take it too far with their presistence. But most won't. And one of the biggest advantages; women know when they're being hit on. Men's intentions are clear from the beginning. And sometimes men might take "no" as a "not yet", but that's very different than a "yes". And when a woman really doesn't want to be with someone, she can give out a "hell no, and stop trying", which makes any balanced individual to stop.

Also, some women like the attention and the feeling of being wanted and desired by someone. It is possible to be persistent without being pushy too. I've seen cases of men who keep flirting with a woman for extended periods of time, they both have good fun there, then eventually the guy just gets bored and moves on, or he makes it and then goes on from there.

Also, differenciating between the "no"s is in the social cues, which I understand might be hard for an aspie. Extremes should do the trick. If a guy has been hitting on a girl for weeks, and she doesn't let him put his arm around her shoulder, or touch her for too long, and he's been repeatedly asking her out with no avail, then it takes an special kind of delusional guy to keep going there (most guys would stop before getting to that point though). If I've got a girl in my lap with my arms around her waist and hers around mine and our faces close by and a bunch of other factors, then I go in for a kiss and she says no but doesn't stand up or position her body away from me, I'll just tease her and try again a bit later (I made it btw. And then several times again, with her willing consent) Things aren't always as clear cut as those two cases, but your average persistent guy will see to which side of that spectrum things are going to, and act accordingly.

Or, constantly making excuses for other cultures can also show a cowardly moral relativism.

What do you call a case where your Latino man constantly asks a woman for sex, even after a woman has said 'no' repeatedly, and just gives in because she doesn't have the energy to keep refusing him?

It's a nasty culture. "No means no", we're told. Clearly Latinos behave much like the European Union to the answer of "no" - they can ask again and again until they get the right answer.

It's MY culture I'm talking about here. When you say that, you remind me of this girl who complained on how all Brazilian woman were whores, because they were more open to the idea of kissing a guy they didn't previously know at a nightclub than her, and than Colombian women in my region in general. When I talked with a Brazilian women sometime later, she told me how prudish my Colombian colleages were. Who is right and who is wrong? Hard question. When dealing with other cultures, the first thing you must do is stop being judgemental and try to understand why they do what they do instead, instead of taking the moral high ground and making outrageous statements from there. How acquainted are you with latino culture in general? And then, with cuban, mexican, colombian, brazilian... (I admit I'm not that well versed in some lf these, thus I avoid talking too much about them.) Morals are a really complex topic, I must say I haven't fully wrapped my head around them. But I ask you, which morals are the right ones. Yours?



Well, I guess that specific case could be rape but... where would you get the idea stuff like that happens, and happens usually? Normally women instead if giving in, they get increasingly pissed, and become more firm with their noes, cut off contact, and if a guy still persists then he may be getting into stalker territory, and that's just nasty and unrelated to culture. Something that happens more commonly with a "gringo" (using the non-offensive spanish meaning of the word I'm familiar with), a woman knows a guy for a while, feels safe with him, thinks of him as his friend and trusts him, and then bam! surprise rape. It's a nasty culture (I can use that kind of argumentation too, you know)

It might depend on the tone of voice.

Anything can sound offensive, if used with an angry voice.

They have different lines than you - all of us manage to understand where the line for "too far" is.

The other part is latinos expect a much higher level of reciprocity to continue, not just passivity - otherwise they stop (thinking she is not interested).
I have had guys only dance with me once - because I am not giving off the correct face expressions (smiling etc) they think I am not enjoying myself, that I do not like them, and they will not ask me again. The same goes for anything else - if he feels she is not reciprocating - they stop (thinking she is not interested).

Of course I said no - clearly, both physically and verbally more than 6 times each - you can't be any more clear when you are pushing someone phsycially off you multiple times and saying "No, please stop". - there was absolutely no confusion on what I meant.

Calling an entire race rapists is against WP rules.
"Unacceptable content includes: racist."

Not once have I called all Australians rapists - and you will never hear me say something like that - or all gringoes, for that matter.
It would be factually incorrect and abhorrent for me to state something like that because it simply is not true - and is highly offensive to those Australians who do not engage in those types of crimes.
Even if they do have the 4th/5th highest sexual assult rate in the world - and that's not including the 75-85% of cases that go unreported.
It doesn't give me the right to call all Australians rapists or all gringoes rapists.

Last edited by Kjas on 04 Sep 2012, 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

OK then - my question is basically this. When do the men stop? How long does it get them to stop permanently? Can a woman just say "no" and walk away and that's the end of it?

I probably meant sexual harassment yes, but that can lead to rape.

You haven't experience "prudish" until you've been to Gringoland.

Anyway, this sounds like a very good recommendation for Brazil.

You have the Merengue, but Brazil has has the Samba.