"Basically, it is okay for girls to get validation from guys but not the other way around. We guys have to find ways to be comfortable, content, and be in love with our own life, we have to get our validation from life, and have things we are up to in our life be validating us. Success with women, girls and success in life are similiar. Just as girls, women won't go out of their way to bring guys dating, relationship, love success, or sexual success, life does not go out if it's way to bringing anyone life success. Just as a guy's love life, dating and relationship life is his chore, burden, responsibility, to make it the way he wants it, a person's life as a whole is their responsibility to make it the way they want it. If we guys want to be successful with girls, women, it makes sense for us to have long-term goals for our lives that inspire us and that we are moving toward, no matter how slowly. If we guys do this, we'll get our validation from life rather than girls, women.
For example, let's say there is a guy who is a Video-Game Designer for a Large Company, it was easy for him to allow his life to get into a rut. Day after Day he'd go to work, design, program, come home, watch TV, and go to Bed. He had no goals, no direction. He became passive with his life and, not surprisingly, with women, girls. He blamed his company for his lack of employment of his job, and blamed women for his lack of a love, relationship, dating, sex life. His future looked like it would be just his past. He looked to women for validation in his life, because he couldn't find it anywhere else, and when they didn't validate him, he became depressed. Thus the cycle got worse: The more depressed he became, the more he wanted women to make him feel validated, and predictably, the less attractive he became. The less attractive he became, the fewer women validated him and the more depresed he got.
This was the state he was in when he came into when he was seeking advice, complaining about his lack of success with girls, women. The advice he was given was that he has to set goals for his life. He was told he had to go to a local bookstore and get a book on goal-setting, and got him to really look at what he wanted his life to be like in 10 years, five years, one year. He also was told to write down goals that inspired him, and to put them into his date book where he'd see them often. As he began to get excited about what was possible for him in his life, the cycle began to break apart. He started getting his validation from his life, rather than girls, women.
This made him more attractive to women. Rather than wanting to have a girlfriend so he could have a life, he began having a life that validated him, whether girls, women were in it or not. Naturally, women, girls, were intrigued by his passion for his life, and wanted to be a part of it. He also had to make more male friends, guys have to be extroverts, if they have little or no friends, they are screwed, if a girl is that way, introverted, she won't be screwed. He was also advised to make more male friends. He tended to have many female friends or little to no female friends, or few or no male friends. There is nothing wrong with having female friends, but there are two kinds of female friends: the ones we guys want to date and be in a relationship with, have sex with but don’t want us, and the ones we don’t want to date, be in a relationship with, not have sex.
When a guy has many girls, women in his life that he wants to date, be in a relationship with or sexually but who only want to be friends with him, it’s hard on his confidence. He was always around women, girls who didn’t want him in a dating, relationship or sexual-way, and this made him feel undesirable. It convinced him that women, girls only wanted him as a friend, which really meant that girls, women didn’t want him as a boyfriend. Being around these women, girls got him into the habit of being nonsexual friends with desirable girls, women, rather than being their lover. He began treating women, girls like friends and they treated him the same way. So the guy had to stop spending so much time with girls, women he desired, wanted but who didn’t want him back, desire him back, and starting spending more time with guys, men.
Because his male friendships were able to validate him without putting down his sexuality or showing him that he was undesirable. He found he could get a kind of support from men, guys, he could never get from women he desired who insisted on being just "friends". This validated him and made women's, girl's reactions to his approach less disturbing.
Women, girls are attracted to guys, men who have passion and fire for their lives. They aren't any more interested in prodiving guys, men, the validation for their lives than you are for theirs(that I disagree with, most guys, men, don't care, we are proud to make women, girls feel happy). When a guy, man has goals, male friends, and a life that inspires him, he'll be validated by what he is up to, and women, girls will want to be a part of his life. It won’t matter(but I want it to matter) to the guy is they say yes or no, reject him, when he approaches, makes the first move, asks her out, seduces and goes for that first kiss. He’ll be validated by his life and easily be able to move on to the next girl, woman, well that I really hate, despise, loathe, hate having to move on, I hate how women do not owe men anything but we men owe women everything or just something.
If a guy's life is lonely and meaningless, that makes a guy look desperate, needy, clingy, insecure, pathetic, a loser to girls, women. A guy has to have something he is into, that gives his life meaning, above and beyond dating, relationships, love, sex. If a guy is trying to get meaning for his life out of interactions with girls, women, they will always notice it and reject him instantly, be repulsed by it. Guys too, won't respect that guy.
I understand, already know why girls, women are attracted to rich guys, because subconsciously, women, girls, want a provider for her and her potentially future kids, i don't blame them for that, but girls, women, are attracted to guys, men who are successful in life and many of these guys, men and are not rich themselves, don't have money.
Here it is, girls, women, are attracted to, like successful guys. It is true they are attracted to money but that is not the whole story. They are attracted to guys who are passionate about their lives and have fire and drive. Some of these guys have money, some of them don't. Money is less important than being a dynamic guy, man, tackling his life head-on. We've all seen the garage-band guitarists who are able to get dates and girlfriends, hook-ups, sex easily, eventhough they never play anywhere except but in local bars. Their passion for something in their lives makes both these kinds of guys, the guys with money and the guitarists, more attractive to girls, women.
Along with passion, women, girls are very attracted to guys who have deep social connections. In essense, girls are attracted to guys who have social-status, which means a guy has plenty of friends, both guys and girls, is very outgoing, is frequently participating in social activities and is involved in several different social-circles.
I’m not gonna walk through an entire life-overhaul here, but from what I’ve found out, read, unfortuneately, but the same principles for guys being successful with girls, women are the same principles for life success, I wish they were 2 separate things, issues.
It also makes sense to act with an outcome in mind, not just with girls, women, but also in every other area of your life. It makes sense to see life as a number’s game, like the lottery, to not take the events of life personally and pursue more than one project at a time. It makes sense to be willing to walk away from work or business situations that aren’t paying off, just as it makes sense to be willing to walk away from girls, women. And it makes sense to make life work for you, just as it makes sense to make dating and relationships, sex work for you. Keeping these dating and relationship principles in mind as you design your life will help you life with passion and a purpose, mission, goal, and success. You’ll be able to use the principles of planning and following through, in creating a life you are passionate about.
When you are passionate about your life, and care about something other than dating, relationships, a girlfriend, sex, you won’t be desperate. Men, guys become desperate when they are lonely. This especially happens to guys who don’t have any friends of either gender or just not many friends at all. If we guys don’t have buddies we can kick back and really relax with, we should get some. Having male friends makes interactions with girls, women less important sources of love and validation. It will be much easier for a girl, woman to trust us and be relaxed once she knows that we are not desperate for attention.
See all the work we guys have to do?
Girls, Women, don't have to do this."
i got that from a book titled "how to succeed with women" by ron louis and david copeland, unfortuneately they are right, correct, yes i know that anything worth having in life does not come easy but it looks to be easier for women since they don't need those traits, qualities i mentioned
24 Sep 2012, 4:15 pm
