To all females: What if your BF/husband cries?

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9HG03zHHfY[/youtube]

my standard response to anyone crying

Hahaha. That's mine too. That awkward, "Here, let me pet your head while I inwardly cringe, and try to figure out what brought this on/how to stop it, so you will" response. It doesn't matter if it's a man or woman.

I will say, however, that when men cry I get suspicious. Both of the men I was in LTRs with used crying as a means of manipulation though, so it tainted my outlook on men crying in general.

I don't cry that much, but may occasionally need emotional support when necessary.

However, I knew someone who thought if a guy needed emotional support, they were emotionally weak. Also, she thought asking for advice signified an inability to communicate, and lack of motivation.

She had a bunch of ridiculous rules about relationships. She expected everything to be within her control, and if something wasn't, she couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't cheat, and if she did, the guy is supposed to be completely unaffected by it. If you tried to convince her that her rules were ridiculous, she would call you a manipulator. Assertiveness would get you nowhere. She lived in this fantasy world where she expected everything to be handed to her, without her doing any of the emotional work of a relationship, and with little communication, if any. Nearly every job she had was practically given to her, without any effort on her part.

I had an all around abusive ex who would do the same thing...he'd have a rage and be so sorry that he'd sob so then I was in the position of having to try to comfort somebody who just wailed on me.

An expression of genuine emotion (while akward for me to deal with) is a good thing though.

Yes! The first one had severe depression issues due to abuse from his step-father, and refused to go to any kind of counseling. So when he didn't like what I had to say, he'd burst out crying, because he knew I'd clam up. The second one sounds more like what you went through, and he'd go further by getting angry over my not wanting to talk anymore, once I had dealt with his sobbing.

Maybe its ok but this starts when we`re 13, some kid punch us in the face, we cry and the word sissy gets thrown around, people laugh. After that crying is not an option, ever. Men and feelings, I dont know, we`re taught not to cry, take it like a man and all that. And if a grown man starts to cry other men run away and hide until its over, we`re just not good at dealing with crying.

Most of the time, when I cry in front of my woman, I play some sort of 80s ballad.....

I think it's completely unreasonable to expect men to never cry. It's normal and healthy to be able to show your emotions at an appropriate time. Also it brings people closer together in my opinion so share an emotionally charged moment where the man is comfortable with openly displaying his feelings, I wouldn't like for my boyfriend to feel he can't be open and honest about how he feels to me, so felt like he couldn't cry with me around.

That said, if it was very extreme I would possibly find it annoying if he cried at every little thing. I have seen him cry 3 times, all for good reason. I would have no objection to him crying more often, but I would maybe find it a turn of if he cried when we got the wrong pizza order or something.

My husband has cried once and I just stood there not knowing what to do. But at the same time I felt excitement because I have never seen a man cry before so I made a comment about him crying saying I have never seen a man cry. When he cries he doesn't want anyone around. When he was in lot of pain this year, he didn't want me in the room with him because he would sometimes cry from the pain and he didn't want me to see it so I stayed out. I told him he can cry and I wouldn't care and he said it's him not me and he just doesn't like being seen doing it.


But if I walked into the room and saw him crying I would ask him what is wrong.


When my ex cried a lot, (he was very emotional and way too sensitive), I often didn't know what to do. I just hugged him or rubbed him or did nothing. So I have seen a man cry before before my husband, doh. I have just never seen my husband cry until that one time. My husband and ex are the only men I have seen crying.

He and I both cry.
We usually hug, and comfort the other and kiss them.

Here are the times it is acceptable for men to cry.

1. death of a close relative/friend
2. birth of their first baby
3. Brian's Song
4. When Spock dies in that one movie
5. When the kid shoots Ole Yeller
6. Thats it.

Not even if you drop a sledge hammer on their foot. Yelling, cussing, screaming, all that is ok. But do not cry.

I would figure they would laugh or get mad and tell them to man up and dont be a pansy or just leave the man for crying and being soft. Luckily I rarely ever cry though.

I've never done that.

I just wrap my arms around them and sometimes stroke their hair or the side of their face, and wait until they stop crying of their own accord.
Once they stop, if I ask if they want to talk about it, if they want me to stay or if they would prefer I leave them alone.
Most either talk about it, or want you to stay hugging them though though.
One or two have asked me to leave the room before, but it's rare.

What about when they bury blue? you're MY BOY BLUE!! !!

That..is so sweet and caring...

You have to respect their wishes.
Some are far too ashamed and uncomfortable to even have a woman in the same room as them when they cry, and I can understand that completely.
It's up to them how we are supposed to deal with it.

Decent women do exist - we're not all heartless .