Online dating tips for women

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i disagree with spongy. i would leave the master's up. you earned it and intelligence is a turn on..besides do you really want a guy who only has a bachelor's?e

I had a peek at the forum at lunch time and I had to say about Mr Boo's comment about "hard, overmatured features" that it reminded me of the chunk of cheddar I have in my fridge which I didnt wrap properly and this made me laugh out loud!

Anyway, I get it, the photos suck so I'll be getting my photographer friend to take some better ones.

I did also update the main ad of the profile with some of the advice in mind. I decided not to remove the reference to the Masters degree though as I did feel that if they couldn't cope with that fact in writing, how on earth would they cope with me in person when I start rambling on about obscure theories as I often do.

Today I have had 6 messages - 3 of which would bear further investigation. one of them is aged 30 which not sure if thats slightly young for me but he sounds really smart and he sent me a link to an amusing Q&A session with Sir Patrick Moore:

http://thequietus.com/articles/01994-sp ... netary-pop

The other one is the same age as me and he said that he thoroghly approved of my list of interests.

Maybe you guys should run some sort of dating profile clinic for the dateless as a regular feature on WP

It's usually guys that need dating help. Even if girls may get swamped in the low end of the genepool. It's still at least something to keep you company and hug.

she wanted some and asked for it
and guys are welcome to ask for it
if all someone wants is something to hug and keep them company they'll get a dog, not a person they're not attracted to
most people have dating questions or hurdles at some point

Admittedly my requirement of high intelligence level is going to narrow the pool quite substantially but other than that I am not looking for an alpha male. In fact thats a turn off for me as I dont like aggressiveness, machismo or being controlled. I have rejected wealthy men in their late 40s and 50s for those reasons. I just want a nice intelligent beta guy that shares my interests and is non aggressive. That is all. The feedback on this site has been useful as it appeared that I had inadvertently come across too intimidating and high maintenance and therefore attracting the opposite of what I wanted.

As for the general message which I think is "be grateful and just settle" - a bit defeatist really. (Also sorry as I am about to deviate off topic for a second). Its a bit like me saying, oh because I'm not like Raymond from Rainman, ie, that I live independently and have a job that I should accept workplace bullying, harassment, being passed over for promotion due to the corporate mania for style over substance (generally bad news for aspies), the constant fear of being fired for some social faux pas. No no - i go on these courses which help me with eye contact and being able to deal with meetings and presentations. Read books on etiquette and body language. I may never be able to compete with an NT in that kind of an environment but some progress is better than none at all.

Similarly theres some good advice floating about these forums - facially "challenged"? - work out, buff up a bit, work on your personality and confidence, watch your grooming. Learn how to deal with rejection.

In fact I know a guy who is short, extremely plain (even by my standards), has a pronounced stutter, does not have a lot of money who is never without female company (and some of the females concerned are moderately attractive). I am not making this up. The only reason that I can account for this is that he has high levels of self confidence and rejection does not bother him in the least bit.



Exactly. Thanks

Don't feel hurt by his nasty comment; appearance is a matter of personal opinion and perhaps he genuinely finds your face "hard and overmatured" but I think Boo was just being mean. Unless he has some skewed perception of reality that warps his vision and makes him see photos in a different way, then he was just being rude and spiteful.

I think you have a cute, girly-looking face, and look younger than your age (as most Aspies tend to do). I bet most other people on here would agree with me on that. You have not shown a close-up of your skin so I can't see if you've got many wrinkles or anything, but the actual shape of your facial features is very young-looking, in my opinion.

In any case, even if he genuinely perceives your face to be the way he said, saying that is not very nice. Honesty is one thing, but rudeness is quite another. Ever heard of "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?"

Have you been swarmed by admirers yet? Heck, I should get in line...

To be fair to him, I don't know whether that was his intention or not. It's just an opinion and there might be others that agree with him - that is okay. I don't expect he will be asking me for a date anytime soon, but then I can live with that

But thanks, appreciate the look out

His points re the lighting and cosmetics are, I think, ones which a lot people can agree on. Wanted to portray my usual fun and quirky self, but I guess posting a photo of me wearing a cocktail dress and loads of slap (which is not my usual style) indicates high maintenance princess hence the low amount of responses except from "sugar daddies"! My skin has a smattering of freckles, but no lines, wrinkles yet so better in my usual tinted moisturiser than the heavy foundation which I guess was the cause of the "weird glow".

Off to see my photographer friend next month to see if she can get 5/6 nice photos of me in more representative styles.

Also I have noted that there is a dating site called Intelligent People whose entry requirement is something like an IQ test and membership 90% male. I may give that a go although I'm not sure i will pass the test. As I'm dyslexic means that my cognitive skills are widely distributed - if the questions are mostly sequences or odd one out pictures then I'm definitely in; too many questions based on arithmetic then I'm not.



Thanks for the implied compliment.

There's a slight difference between how things look like in reality and how the camera display it. So perhaps without makeup, one will avoid the reflections but the bluriness from pixel quantization will make any wrinkles etc go away anyway.

In some cases they put on a lot of strong makeup on persons in a TV-studio because the cameras dampen those same colours so it will look alright in the TV-set

Hey, balletnerd. Has there been any progress? Has the amount of people viewing your profile or messaging you gone up?

there was never a problem re amount of people visiting my profile, just that there were never any messages from those who did vie my profile even when I initiated. Have actually had about 3 messages now from suitable types (one of whom has asked when I will be free next week) but imagine will make some better progress when I change the photos.

Hi there,

I see you have already made changes - but I edited them and if you want to you can add the changes - good luck!

- I thought the headline was too long and some of the stuff you said was "over explaining" sometimes it is better to keep things simpler!

Let them find out more from you by asking questions or when you meet in person!

HEADLINE:
- Have a look at these instead - keep it fun and simple:

Is it me you're looking for?!
Looking for Mr Right not Mr Right Now!
Quirky Dreamer looking for similar!
Smiles, butterflies and good times!

MAIN AD:

Just testing the waters!

I love my single life and enjoy socialising with my friends! But there's something missing and that someone may be you! I'm looking for someone genuine, independent, caring who I can bake cookies with (and blame when they burn!) or compile playlists for to listen to while holding hands on long walks on the beach or countryside, someone to shout at the TV with when those lame reality shows come on and someone to cheer me on at those half marathon finish lines.... oh and someone to mosh with at a music gig!! !

Could you be that guy?

I'm looking forward to hearing from you!!

MORE ABOUT ME:

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?

Sing along to my favourite songs , bake: my cakes are to die for or so my "getting fatter" colleagues tell me!!
I love to run, I try to run fast like Paula Radcliff and fail but here's to dreaming! I like to go dancing too - I have a fine set of moves!
And I enjoy going to educational talks and workshops. I never want to stop learning!

FAVOURITE LOCAL HOT SPOTS OR TRAVEL DESTINATIONS?

York, Rome, Cape Verde, Majorca and Brittany. I'd like to go to see like Iceland (the country not the shop), New Zealand, St Petersburg, the list goes on...

FAVOURITE THINGS?

* Random acts of silliness * Debating for fun * Battenberg cake * Charity running * Dancing * Cheeseboards * Vintage fairs * The smell of newly printed books * A proper cup of tea * Mulled wine *

- I left two out because it makes you sound a bit "twee" doesn't mean it's bad but keep it simple, you want them to get to know you!!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?

- Again this book complicates and puts you in a niche - keep it simple and don't over explain you want them to ask you questions!

TELL US MORE ABOUT YOUR JOB.

Risk Management - not as glamourous as it sounds - there's no abseiling out of windows or ninja style antics(!) But I have the most fantastic colleagues so I enjoy going to work every day!