Tips for the men around here.

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nt/as have very little to do with how a woman reacts. However, her personal preference of guys and other personal things do matter. The trick is to find a way to know what shes more towards. If shes wearing a footbal jersey or a naruto jacket then you have something to talk about friendly. otherwise you have to do more digging through words.

Because they dont have to. After you are done with her theres bound to be another guy willing to put all the effort needed for her. Why should she put any for you if shes not even that into you. The people that have women put effort into them are the types that arent going to be in this forum, because theyve never had issues or even know that people can have issues with dating.[/quote]
Then I don't want to be with a women like that. I want a strong confidence women (who I find attractive) who can talk about thing. I want a women not a child. The women I want is a women who is so cool that she don't care about stupid social crap. There this women at my work and she's cool. she goes up and just talk to me about stuff (like me random stuff) and that the type women I like. I don't 'really get ''passive'' women I don't get them. I love ''aggresive'' women. Women who can go up to me and just talk to me and doesn't wait for me to do everything.
My ex gf was like that. She asked me out basically. My personality and my unwilling to changes does best when women put in the effort.
Now the women at work is not too bad looking but I will never date her because she seem to be the type if I break up with her, she would probaly go crazy.
but most women play the passive role.

there you go, you answered your own thing.

I've got more time than I thought I would, so I might as well do my whole post right now. As I said, I don't really find anything I disagree on. On confidence, I will say that something that really helps is taking steps for self-improvement; the confidence that comes from there is genuine and longlasting. The "fake it till you make it" approach is hard, as you said, and it also tends to fluctuate too much. I remember that when I used it, Imhad this constant fear that I'd slip up, or that I'd be seen as I really was, and that didn't allow me to truly connect with people, so I'm not sure on that one.

The question thing is true; as I've probably said before, asking questions during small talk instead of simple statements is very helpful, and so should it be while messaging.

Some PUA material is good, I've found good stuff on body language, the mechanics of attraction, dating psychology, hidden meanings behind certain things, there is a lot of trash too though, so there.

Something I must emphatize is when you said that we should only talk with people we want to talk. I discovered that one not that long ago, when I understood that I couldn't be bothered talking to someone I wasn't compatible with. And if I managed to get in a relationship with one of those people somehow, I wouldn't enjoy it. Now I strictly talk to people I'm interested in, and that goes beyond dating.

I can vouch for what you and Kjas said; the girl I'm seeing now I met through my ex, of all people.

Must go now, but I had more things to say . Bis dann!

Now there's your problem.

Firstly, arrogance and not taking resposibility are very offputting traits for a lot of women, especially clever ones. Secondly, if there are that many women that you find "faulty", you yourself are most likely to blame.

I really don't understand this concept of "cool" that you keep going on about. If somebody doesn't do it the way you fancy it, it doesn't make her any worse person.

I beg to differ, I simply love old fashioned gentlemen who know how to treat their lady in a respectful manner. It doesn't have to be "pathetic" or make someone look like a doormat, unopinionated or stupid. In Quasimodo, the pretty guy got the pretty girl because he was pretty and "normal" compared to Quasimodo.

theres a difference between a gentleman and a white knight. Being the white knight is nice not because thats how he treats people but rather as a way of making himself seen by the women hes placed on a pedestal. most often than not they arent actually nice, but rather they do it to gain acceptance and hope women end up liking them. they are the same fake nice guys wp debated about in the past. I simply changed the name to better differentiate them from real nice guys. Theres nothing wrong with knowing how to treat a woman, but when you're just trying to be nice to manipulate someone it stops being so nice.

This is a bit off topic, but here goes:

How do you tell the difference between an introvert and an extrovert at the NSA (National Security Agency)?

The extroverts stare at other peoples shoes.

That is true... Manipulation through niceness and faking it are a definite no-no. I'm sorry, I'm not really familiar with the term "white knight".

too ugly and not rich enough are the main reasons a lot of guys get no dates. females are just as superficial than males. most females can be more fussy but most males have to take what they can get or go without.

Ah, Disney as an example!

Quasimodo felt in love with the megahot gipsy girl, how is that not shallow?

But who cares, it's a naïve Disney screen version, they did a second movie where Quasimodo marries a beautiful blonde lady.

The original book is way different, have you read it? No, sure you think Disney version is accurate.

By the way, would you marry a woman with the appearance of this chained man, MXH? He is similar to Quasimodo. In fact Quasimodo has a deformed face, so use your imagination and deform the face of the chained man, ok? This is real world, not Disney.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnqhvEFDo-Q[/youtube]

Or do you prefer a hot gypsy girl with green eyes?

Last edited by BanjoGirl on 19 Oct 2012, 6:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

The profile picture in online dating sites matters the most. The content of the profile matters very little if you are not attractive. Use a fake profile picture that may get you more responses and profile views. Aspergers need to ,lie, cheat and deceive and play the social game.

I've heard a lot of stories about people either having tried using or met people who have used fake (or very heavily edited) profile pictures. The results have always been disastrous. Lying is not a good way to start any form of relationship, not even an online friendship. I don't have a clue what kind of social circles you aspire to get into, but personally I am strongly against manipulation, lying and deception in work life and personal relationships.

What about places/situations to approach people? I always feel that I cannot approach a specific woman because I go there often and we aren't really strangers any more. The constant fear that I will be laughed at or someone making comments when I enter the same place again later.

I am an older woman and from time to time young men will start conversations with me about random things. If I'm not in the middle of something else I'll engage them. Why? Because I know they aren't trying to date me since I am 20 years too old for them. They are simply passing the time. And so am I. This makes for relaxing, fun conversations about randome things. It's a non-dating conversational dynamic. I am not attracted to them. They are not attracted to me. These facts affect the conversational dynamic.

However, 20 years ago, if men started similar conversations with me I was much more wary. I would only engage them if I found them very interesting. I found through experience that engaging a man who I had zero interest in turned out badly for me. There was always that subtext in his conversation that I had to be aware of, that he was trying to reel me in. If I engaged him but was not interested, there were angry accusations of "friendzoning". That ended when I hit middle age. I can now relax a lot more and just talk to whoever without fear of subtext.

The young women (unlike the women my age) are not going to put forth effort to converse with you unless they find you fascinating. They will not do it to merely pass the time, as women my age will. It isn't worth it to them because of that subtext. I often used the "freeze out"* technique when I was their age, which is to not engage with a man I had no interest in without the bluntness of just walking away from him. Saying these women ought to engage will get you nowehere. They could, but they won't unless they find you fascinating. So I guess you will have to either make yourself more fascinating or be more open to the women who do already find you interesting, such as the aggressive one you spoke of elsewhere.

*the "freeze out" technique is an NT head game of the type hated by all AS people (so presumably not used by AS women here). I was using it 20 years ago, it's probably older than that, and it is clearly still in use. It is where the woman just doesn't engage at all but without the blatant rudeness of pretending she heard nothing. She uses single word answers or just looks stumped in an attempt to get the man to give up and go to greener pastures.