The masculine role in society

Post Reply New Topic

As a male who feels very gender neutral, I must say this is an awesome topic and that I'm glad to see the civil discussion that everyone is having regarding it.

For me, I've called off pursuing girls for an indefinite time. Over time, I realized I was basing my entire self worth on the opinion of a woman. I don't know why guys haven't figured this out yet. Women figured it out long ago that they didn't want to be validated by Men. It's time for the guys to realize this if we are to improve as a society.

Not to mention, I have feminine interests that would probably turn off most women. Sometimes I wish I was gay, so that I could have an easier time dating.

I hate the word "roles" altoghether.

I look above stereotypes and other cliche things.
Everyone (male or female) should be responsible, optimistic, balanced, etc. (or just strive to be better at positive things)
I strive to look more masculine, but my personality is always unique, and my own, without caring what others think about me.

I cannot answer your question kjas because I have never experienced a real relationship.

my position is still the same in response to the definition - i don't fit into a box and i wouldn't expect a partner to do so. if i am the person who wields the dremel tool when the cupboard needs repairing, i can also be the one who cries when i see puppies in commercials. or maybe we both like hugs and both hate cleaning the bathroom (the grout will be full of mildew but we'll never be short of cuddles, perhaps). or maybe we both see ourselves as stoic and hardworking at the office - we don't have to be complementary because "roles" are such a manufactured and false dichotomy.

but really, that's just trading one role for another (i.e. feeling wanted, needed and/or useful for character traits or skills). if i desire to be the person in the relationship who is the caregiver (or the fixit person), or if i need for someone to validate me as the breadwinner, then i've created a whole new box for myself. it's just as limiting as the old-fashioned roles, just with new packaging. just because a box is self-selected and individually maintained doesn't make it any less limiting.

what i'd like to see is for people to exist as whole humans. they are not completing someone else or offering something of themselves, but are rather complete and healthy and whole (not halves of a whole). that's not to say that each person would be good at every single thing, but i think it is dangerous territory to seek out a mate that fulfills the things that a person believes themselves to lack.

My impression is that, at least in our western, occidental society, men are going south. Slowly, but nocitably. At the moment, women have a good go in media and arts, just look at all the female musicians that are just over the top in the popularity. Now, you could say that this is just a trend that might wear off. Maybe. But I can tell you some numbers here: At my college, about 55% of all freshmen, of all the people enrolling at my university, are women. And it has been like that for a couple of years now, and the numbers are still increasing. The key abilities of men that defined their role in archaic and feudal societes is dwindling, and many younger men are trapped between what their peers, men that is, and the ever moving and changing society expects from them.
In other words, the abilities that nature endowed men with that are naturally more developed than those of women, are, more or less, purely optional in today's convenient life: Strength, stamina, size, all these things only matter in really hard physical labour, not when holding lectures at college, not when operating a computer, not when planning a business structure. Yes, a man's brain is more geared towards logical thinking than a woman's, but the difference is alot, ALOT smaller than the physical one. Men still hold monopoly over entertainment that caters to their strengths, sports that is. But even that, at least here, is changing... very, very slowly, but notciably: Women's soccer is actually becoming more and more popular (and the Germans LOVE their soccer), and it is only a matter of time until we have a women's major league with nothing but professionals playing.

I absolutely agree with the video's contents: Us guys, we need to redefine our role in a society that will move to a point where a man's strengths become obsolete, where the man himself will become obsolete, a relic of the past that has no place in this world anymore. I, for one, am aware of that. That doesn't mean we should always disregard what differences are between men and women. I am myself at a point where, if I had a son, wouldn't know what to tell him what it means to be a man upon this planet. It certainly isn't the warrior, the food provider, the hunter anymore. Is it jut the physical labourer that works on construction sites, at the garage or in factories? After all, politics and economics is still an area that is dominated by old, white men that rarely allow women amongst their ranks... but have you checked lately where that got us? Besides, this exclusivity might work as long as theirs men to recruit... but what if, at one point in the future, there's no more guys left with proper education?
You might say that these are worst case scenarios, things that might or might not happen. But like with global warming: Maybe it is us who are responsible, maybe it's not, maybe both. But no matter if it is our fault, the change is comming, and either you prepare for it, or you watch your own little world crumble between your hands.

My role in a Long Term Relationship? To be me!

Her role - to be herself.

Everything else will be divvied up according to fairness and ability.


Had my wife gone back to work and *I* provided the childcare, we'd have earned twice the income and a clean house with good meals... but she had to force traditional roleplaying and send me off to work without any real education and crippled with AS. She was very loving to the kids but refused to teach any real life skills, like social behaviour, manners, cleaning up after themselves, etc. She also didn't clean at all, barely cooked.

*sigh* If we'd assigned our roles according to our abilities, we'd have been very successful instead of failing.

I propose we enforce new roles. Encourage fitness and Civil service among men again! And let women handle the less physical jobs. Hey I couldn't care less if women had all the comfy office jobs, I enjoy manual and physical labour.

Let Women run the nation and Men build and protect it. Better Rules and expectations for every body

----------------------------------

Enough from me, Good topic btw.

Although I know I was never raised to veiw women as Objects or to be Dominated. However the stuff like, Men don't cry, You got to be tough for others, Lead by example ect. Were all hammered into me.

When it came to women it was mostly things like, Never hit a woman no matter what, Even if she hits you just take the blow and walk off. Always open the door for a woman, help a woman if she needs it.

That said I'm the type of person to offer help to a complete stranger I see in the market struggling to lift the 30 kilo bags of dog food ect.

---------------------------------------