creepy guys have such confidence

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i do not define "creepy" in the same way as most of the posters here do.
i have never thought the word "creep" referred to people who were merely objectionable.

i have always had the impression that "creep" means similar to "eerie", due to me having a subjective preconscious sense that they have a secret self that is macabre and repulsive.

i guess i formed my impression by evaluating the term "creep" in the context of sentences like "i get a creepy feeling in this old house" which is similar to the feeling that the mind of a "creep" may be haunted by some sinister secret.


i do remember how my sisters (who were all very much older than me (and still are)) referred to "creeps". i think that their definition of the word meant something like "a man who does the social dance only in order to get into their pants".

so i then wondered how the word "creep" came to be associated with that type of behavior.
maybe it is comparing them to lizards who are slick, and who creep around, but i do not think the gait of a lizard could correctly be described as "creeping".

there is the term "creepy crawly" which refers to insects, but insects crawl more than creep.

i think "creeping" fundamentally means "the gait that one employs whilst stalking one's prey". they "creep" up on their prey and then they pounce. the victim is unaware until the event of their demise that there was any danger. maybe that is the common denominator between my and my sister's definition of the word.

You'd be surprised. Some aspie males will not give up even after I have blatantly and verbally told them they were making me uncomfortable. The irony is that we could actually be good friends if they'd just respect my space. I want to make friends just as much as any other aspie female, but if it's a choice between over-intrusive stalkerish males and loneliness, I'd rather just be alone.

Yeah I think I kinda agree with bill. A lot of "creepy" guys are the overconfident type, not the shy, bumbling type. By definition a shy type wouldn't have the "stones" to be intentionally creepy. Although they do get labeled as creepy far more than the overconfident guys. I think it's because with a shy person you kind of don't know what to expect, while the cocky guy is always in your face.

Why am I bringing up only guys here? Because as much as I hate to say it, they get labeled as creepy far more than girls.

I think it could possibly be an offensive label........
Like Chinese or n****r or ret*d
'Creep' can be thrown at any male who doesn't fit it, on first appearance
Making for instant judgement calls
Instant judgement calls are often a necessary activity in todays world,

suits can be creepy

Have I ever been call creepy? well, I have no idea if any woman thought I was creepy. Personaly I really don't care if a woman thinks Im creepy. Any women who thinks that about me, I have no interest in hanging out with any ways.
Because I know im a good person and really never let women ever get me down. (of course I know Im going get alot of crap for thinking this way)

After reading the comments on this thread, I noticed that everyone has their own ideas about what constitutes "creepy." I get that most of you are males who have had problems finding and/or talking to women. Some of you may have inadvertently made women uncomfortable.

What I can say is that the males need to learn how to listen to what we have to say. You'll find that you have more luck if you pay attention to how we might feel about unsolicited attention. Creepy guys can get the cheap easy girls with low self-esteem, but don't expect a meaningful life-long relationship. They're usually the ones getting one-night-stands.

If you really want a meaningful relationship with a girl, by all means go ahead and make a move. The caveat here is that you have to be astute. Women can tell when a guy is "trying too hard." Be casual, take things slow, and get to know her. If you come on too strongly, we will label you as "creepy" whether you think it's warranted or not.

If you're not lucky enough to be endowed with the natural ability to read body language of the opposite sex, spend the 15-20 bucks and get a body language book.

Women usually read body language like 5-10x more than men do. Closely watching every little move somebody makes sounds kind of "creepy" in my opinion.

i really agree with this point.
whenever there is a conversation or interaction, people are trying to understand the purpose of it. going up and talking to a woman leads to quite a few options. either they are trying to score (one extreme), just getting to know them (the other extreme), or trying to get a number or a date (somewhere in the middle).

the goal of the first time you talk to a new girl is not to have a relationship starting 5 minutes later. although in our minds we might already have decided that we really like them and would have no problem if by some miracle we got more out of the interaction than intended. like if i try to get a name and some contact info, but walk away with a date planned, i sure will be happy. but that can also be my handicap, because i want that date and i might say something that hints i like her more than she could expect me too, which i think is the trigger point for being creepy

so i think the way to prevent any creepyness is if i were to have only 1 very small goal and do nothing more than try to achieve that. the simplest is starting a conversation and getting a name, learning what her job is, etc. and THEN if that goes well, make a new goal to get a number. but never once should i let myself want more than that in an early interaction. and after a conversation, think back on what i said and if any of it sounded like my goal was for more than just a name or number.

I will give a real life example.

At work, there is a guy who everyone thinks of as "creepy". I sort of understood why they thought that, even though I don't like to label anyone, and tend to be the judge of my decisions. I need to witness a fact that will corroborate that statement about anyone. This guy obviously makes up stories that not even F K Tolkien could think of. He is friends with American Presidents, has written Harry Potter but has had the author take ownership of the books, has a private helicopter and a girl in every city of the UK and Holland! You get the drift. Why make up one small lie when you can go for the whole hog! Each to their own, so I just think he is deluded thinking people will believe him, but he isn't doing anyone any harm. So, me being me, and always sticking up for the underdog, I have always defended him and asked other to leave him to it.

Gradually I could tell, that he was making advances and being suggestive. I brushed it all off, and anyone with an iota of intelligence would know I wasn't interested.

One night he had called me, close to 30 times. I told him gently, but assertively, that I found his behaviour disconcerting. He carried on and was inclusively *very* rude and started with sexual advances.

Despite all this, and yes, that is creepy behaviour, I chose to forget, because I know some people get obsessed with others and that is something hard to control.

He left me alone for a number of years and has recently started again. I guess once a creep...

the problem with women is that they call every guy that hit on them that they no interest in as ''creepy''
Take steve urkel back in the 90's no one ever thought steve urkel was creepy when he kept trying to get laura to go out with him.
He was just nerdy and annoying guy. I know it was just a tv show but still ,all the other female charchter on the show never view him as creepy.

now in this generation any guy who is nerdy and maybe kinda of annoying like in a steve urkel way are now consider ''creepy''.
I think creepy need to go back to it's right place and be only for men (and women) who are legit creepy (like flashing self, asking a random girl to suck his d----) like sexual harrasing a girl, stuff like that.

difference between today and the 90's. In a 90's a geeky aspie male trying to ask out a women who just have been seen as a''dork'' or ''annoying'' now in the 10's they are now called ''creepy''

disagree on the guys in suits comment - sometimes guys in suits have a sense of entitlement that is definitely creepy.

This is false.
I have been hit on plenty of times by non-creepy guys - most recently, a gas-station attendant in Grants Pass, OR asked for my phone number - in completely non-creepy ways. I said, "No," and he said, "OK."
Not creepy.
Drunken guy with suicide-attempt slashes on his arms, hitting on me in the ED, dragging his eyes up and down me every time I move, making sexual metaphors with the medical procedures I have to do? VERY creepy. Hitting on my when you're in the ED because you just drove your car into a tree because you were driving on pain meds, and your wife is across the hall? Very creepy. Incidentally, also very creepy: a woman with a tattoo of a woman on her arm, the tattoo's legs oriented such that one has to sexually violate it in order to obtain a blood sample.
What makes those examples creepy is that I have to engage the person because it is my job. I can't just say "No," and walk away, and they know it, and they enjoy it.

Orrrrrr I can just stop trying altogether. Getting a body language book won't fix matters. I'm told that I have pretty good body language, and some people can't understand why I get called a creep for innocuous things. Unless you mean get one to read THEIR body language. The best way to not have it happen is to just not care anymore. It wouldn't be so bad if the women's network wasn't so big. One woman thinks you're creepy and damn near all of the other women she knows will consider you the same once they find out. Meanwhile the actual creeps get away with murder, sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally. What can you tell guys like me who respect personal boundaries, don't push and prod, apparently have good body language, and keeps to themselves but STILL manage to get called the "C" word?



I hate to agree with you again. I just hate it. If you're a nerdy male now, especially one who keeps to himself, you're not just an annoying nerd anymore. You're a creep. A molester. A rapist. A pedophile. Because guess what? Those things are what actual creeps are!

I'm a nerd myself, and if I had the choice between being called annoying or creepy, I'd take annoying every single time. At least you're being lumped into a category that most men fit, and not being blacklisted automatically as a rapist.

aspiesandra gave a great example of an actual creep. He made sexual advances and gestures long after she told the guy to stop. That no means no. THAT is the type of guy that should be considered a creep.

hahaha lolz
But you know...
A psychopath may be very observant of others
so as to best manipulate them.......
I HAVE met a few creepy women


same often for psychopathic men though
due to an outward appearance and charm
they need to move on
after they have been caught out


aaaahhhh the joys of anonymous cities

As Spongy mentioned before, clothing [and makeup too] can make you less less creepy, even others will gravitate to you
if you say the right things to others....
lolz

nts creep me out my whole life
yet because I was a 1%er
I was always the problem

ie: If you go to a bank and in the queue most peps will be staring at the other people with tellers
I find this offensive for these clients and tellers
And make it a habit
To never stare at others
When in a queue
Same at pedestrian crossings
Nt's stare at each other all the time!
Pharkin creepn creep faced creepz
lolz

Yeah she did. As did some other women. And they're right. Those are the guys who mostly should be called creepy.

But I think the women here might be forgetting that they are not a representative sample of women as a whole. That what they personally label as creepy may not be the same as what NT women (who are, after all, the vast majority) would call creepy.

Don't get me wrong. I agree wholeheartedly with what the women here are saying. It's just that I don't think the rest of the world applies the same standards.

I think you're right about this, DialA. I've seen guys labelled as creeps for innocuous stuff like eating lunch alone or not having enough friends. In fact, now that I think about it, I've seen more guys called creepy for not being social enough rather than being too social (i.e. not respecting boundaries).

And, especially in a place where you can't get away from the same group of people (school or work, for example), that label sticks to you like dogshit does to your shoe. Once it's been applied, there's no way for a guy to overcome it. The most harmless behaviors are taken as further evidence of your creepiness and people start to avoid you which makes being more social, in order to get rid of the label, impossible.

Last edited by mds_02 on 24 Nov 2012, 4:36 am, edited 7 times in total.

You make a valid point, Mds, that what we (aspie) women consider 'creepy' may be a more specific quality than what NT women do.